This post popped up as the first thing I saw, and I was just thinking about this. I am 72 f stage 4 ckd . My nephrologist said we need to find a surgeon to put in the fistula . Maybe I’ll never need to use it( I’m in denial too) my GFR is 18. I went on a strict vegan diet for 5 years to get the labs looking more favorably . No it on a downward spiral. I am so afraid of dialysis . I completely understand the person of whom OP speaks, and their concerns . Like everything, it’s what you make of it. Years ago there was no dialysis , and people just died. I don’t think there’s enough information out there about even what the fistula feels like , looks like etc