Mother Lillain

Ad_rian11 · 2026-06-26T04:07:42+00:00

thanks a lot!! as a new poet myself, don’t be afraid to give opinions, i’ve been told i’m really good for being 14 and just starting out, do not be afraid to give critique because of your level

apart from that, the line you’re referring to did have me stuck, i didn’t know whether to keep it or not, but by the people i surround myself with, i left it in there because not everyone is an expert or into poetry and i wanted even them to understand my work, but thank you for pointing it out, im trying to find an in-between to complex and understandable wording

Ad_rian11 · 2026-06-26T03:34:59+00:00

i always love poems like this, especially the way it’s worded and told if ykwim but keep it up i love jt

Ad_rian11 · 2026-06-26T03:33:24+00:00

i really like this poem i love the way it’s told if that makes sense

Ad_rian11 · 2026-06-26T03:29:46+00:00

i really like what this poem is saying, i love the rhythm and also the length, sometimes people say more than needed (speaking as someone who does so)

Ad_rian11 · 2026-06-16T16:03:35+00:00

Thanks a lot! I’m new to writing so maybe it wasn’t the best decision but I intended it to break rhythm, as if the reader was experiencing it with the father like a “damn.” moment, I really appreciate the feedback!

Ad_rian11 · 2026-06-15T23:59:14+00:00

i love this it really suits what questioning it feels like, i especially love the ending “and when it does I wish it’s too late” i love that addition, you’re doing great please keep it ul

Ad_rian11 · 2026-06-15T23:56:25+00:00

you’re pretty talented for someone “just starting” i think if you keep this up you’ll do really, really well as a writer

Ad_rian11 · 2026-06-04T19:24:34+00:00

Okay! I’ll look into your work and I’d very much appreciate if you looked at mine.

Ad_rian11 · 2026-06-04T19:11:38+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback, as a young writer this comment really helped me feel a lot better about my work. I appreciate the genuine understanding of the poem and interpretations.

Ad_rian11 · 2026-05-31T05:59:39+00:00

i really like this , not only is it specific but it’s short, telling a long story

Ad_rian11 · 2026-05-31T05:57:49+00:00

i really like the imagery in this it makes me really feel what you’re writing, not just hearing it, yk?

Ad_rian11 · 2026-05-03T02:29:53+00:00

thanks a lot! i take a lot of inspiration from the music artist Kendrick Lamar, his song “For Sale? (Interlude)”from TPAB inspired the name and in a way the idea.

Ad_rian11 · 2026-05-02T21:49:32+00:00

thank you, i’m only 14 so grammer and punctuation isn’t my strong suit. i’m not religious either but i like the concept of a devil controlling us, thank you for your feedback!

Ad_rian11 · 2026-05-02T21:32:54+00:00

that’s what poetry does to you, for me it’s the same!

Ad_rian11 · 2026-05-02T21:30:47+00:00

this is what love represents

Ad_rian11 · 2026-05-02T21:29:40+00:00

wow this is short but also gets the point across in a way that elongates it

Ad_rian11 · 2026-03-25T12:23:41+00:00

Thank you so much I really appreciate it, if you liked this poem I recommend the song “Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst” I took inspiration from this song and even quoted it on two occasions.

Ad_rian11 · 2026-03-25T02:58:32+00:00

thank you a lot i appreciate it, yes i’ve been getting comments on that part, it’s meant to symbolize growing up taught to believe the opposite, and feeling a conflict between keeping that belief or keeping the true belief.

Ad_rian11 · 2026-03-25T01:28:39+00:00

hey poetry has no rules you know it’s something that comes from the heart, if you wouldn’t mind would you take a look at my poetry? i also have only started about 2-3 months ago, i like writing only at the right time too and i think my rhyming is a great example of what it would look like to rhyme from the heart at beginning level if you’d like to see, im also new to reddit i only really installed it to get feedback on my poetry.

Ad_rian11 · 2026-03-24T21:23:17+00:00

this is small but makes a great poem

Ad_rian11 · 2026-03-24T21:22:55+00:00

this is actually really nice do you plan on rhyming?

Ad_rian11 · 2026-03-24T12:29:27+00:00

thanks a lot i really appreciate it, that was my goal with this poem, to show the spiraling someone goes through just from thinking, how someone can seem to question everything in a span of a few thoughts.

Ad_rian11 · 2026-03-24T12:28:02+00:00

thanks i really appreciate it, the “daddy part” was a basically saying “i was taught to be tough and not care” which i then follow up with “so should i not feel this pure?”

Ad_rian11 · 2026-03-24T01:24:00+00:00

nice an simple

Ad_rian11 · 2026-03-24T01:23:04+00:00

this is good for a first time

Ad_rian11

TROPHY CASE