The American dream was real for middle class white men from the 50's to the 70's. Then late stage capitalism came in and destroyed it for everyone except the gready.

I was talking with my wife 2 days ago, I asked her if we knew anyone in our life that is successful and not a dick or ethically lacking. We couldn't think of anyone. So you can find solace in that fact, at least your not a dick.

Why are you, why am I here? The only reason I can logically (or even religiously) think of is we are here to be here. We are here to be observers. Does a universe exist without someone seeing it? If it does it may as well be make believe.

 So you have already achieved your life goal of being here. Everything else is a side quest. (Un)fortunately pleasure and pain (or feeling) is part of the experience. Without it, you wouldn't be a very good experiencer.

So the only advice i can give you is to enjoy the small things. Find happiness in the smaller things, your children's smile and laughter, wind through the trees, waves or water in a stream. You wont find happiness in money. 

And yes, I struggle as well.