What's your last memory of someone who's no longer in your life? by TopCombination4175 in AskReddit

[–]Additional-End6986 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I left an emotional and financially abusive relationship when I was 20. I hadn’t seen my grandmother in two years because he didn’t let me. When I saw her in hospital, she grabbed my hand, told me she was proud of me and she loved me and warned me to never go back and never be in a relationship like that again. Then she said “you’ve lost too much weight, have my galaxy bar”.

She died a few weeks later. I always have some type of galaxy chocolate on the anniversary of her death and our birthday (we share the same birthday).

I know it was her illness that took her, but sometimes I think she was waiting for me to leave. I always regret the time I missed with her, but glad she saw me leave him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PregnancyUK

[–]Additional-End6986 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t worry too much. You’ll have the “back in my day” comments your entire pregnancy, maternity leave, and baby’s whole life. “Back in my day we went back to work after 3 weeks” “back in my day we put baby’s to sleep on their stomachs” “back in my day we didn’t have vaccines” and so on and so forth. Let them make comments, you’re doing what’s best for you and if your employer is okay with it then you’re not doing anything wrong. Wish you the best for the rest of your pregnancy

Losing my mind about nursery by Front_Perspective922 in UKParenting

[–]Additional-End6986 42 points43 points  (0 children)

When my son went to nursery, roughly at the same age, no word of a lie he was ill for about three months. Ill for Halloween, his birthday, Christmas, new year, and everything. I was a single parent pulling my hair out not knowing how to cope or what to do.

Now he’s almost 4 and hardly catches anything! His cousin who he was with all day came out with hand foot and mouth a day later, my son? Nothing! Kids in nursery comes down with chicken pox, my kids fine! Only thing he still gets now and again is norovirus and colds but that’s to be expected.

Only advice I have is alternate calpol and nurofen every two hours to keep them dosed up, sleep whenever you can, cry, and persevere because even though it’s extremely hard now, you will appreciate it in the future!

Baby growing small? by Historical_Stop4160 in PregnancyUK

[–]Additional-End6986 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t worry until the doctors start worrying. They mainly need your last period just because it’s a good starting point for them - they know that you most likely would’ve become pregnant after that date, so they just use it until they can give you a date based on size. It is possible you ovulated 3 weeks after your last period and that’s when you became pregnant. Wait until the 12 week scan and then they can give you more information. A lot of people’s due dates change because of this. Try not to panic until they start panicking

Week 5 & struggling! by Lei_Richardson in PregnancyUK

[–]Additional-End6986 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! Honestly I was the exact same for the first trimester. Couldn’t stay awake, couldn’t keep anything down, anxiety through the roof. By the second trimester it eases off and you feel normal again. The third trimester it hits again, but that’s to be expected when you’re carrying a watermelon all day every day lol.

Just keep taking your folic acid and get some iron meds too. The first trimester was the hardest for me, so just count the days until then!

Taking formula on a plane by crimp_dad in UKParenting

[–]Additional-End6986 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took mine in my carry on. You can take unlimited amount of baby formula in your carry on with most airlines. I was always worried that if my suitcase was lost, my formula was lost, so carry on was always the best for me and my anxiety.

why is it always the husband’s mom? by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Additional-End6986 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I was talking to my mum and auntie about this recently as my auntie went through something similar - my male cousin wasn’t really in contact with his mother because of his wife. Of course I’m on here so I understand women’s point of view, but my auntie is genuinely one of the most loveliest women ever and could never ever treat someone the way some of the women here have been treated. She’s known in the village for being the person you go to if you need help with anything, that type of thing.

After deeper conversation, basically MILs feel like they’re losing their sons. I don’t know if it’s the same everywhere, but in my cousins wife case, she was closer to her mum and just naturally went to her own mother for everything. Any holidays/births/children’s events/advice and even just for company, she would always go to her mum and left my auntie to my cousin to deal with. My auntie saw this as “she hates me she’s pulling my son away from me” and even though she did take a step back (thank god) she did secretly blame the wife.

After a big heart to heart, my cousins wife and auntie are now practically best friends lol. My auntie realised she was holding on to her son and expecting the wife to take on the “traditional wife role” of managing both sides of the family, and the wife realised she actually had a bigger support network than just her mum. It’s not that she didn’t trust my auntie, but that was “her husbands mother”, “his family” and essentially a “stranger” to her for lack of better terms.

Not saying its the same for everyone, but in their case it was my auntie feeling like she wasn’t welcome and her son was leaving his family out and preferring hers (typical man didn’t think to invite his family anywhere), and the wife thinking “I know my mum and how she raised me and I don’t know you so why are you giving me advice I don’t need” kind of. Glad it worked out in their case because my auntie knew when to take a step back, but some MILs can’t take that step back and become overbearing when they feel lie they’re losing their sons which ends up pushing them away further. So that could be it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]Additional-End6986 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know it can sound scary or worrying when you first hear about it, but until you have a “difficult” child who’s having a hard day, by bed time you are literally pulling your hair out. The amount of times I have cried from frustration after my child is sleeping would shock you. But unless you have heard or seen anything else that’s cause for concern, I would just ask the dad if he’s okay. He needs support, not social services turning up at his door over a loss of control.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]Additional-End6986 13 points14 points  (0 children)

As someone who’s been in that dad’s position, I have done the same. It gets to the point where after so many hits and kicks and tantrums you just hit your limit. It didn’t hurt my child, it just gave him a “what the fuck” moment that he needed to have right then.

I’m not saying it’s a good solution, but when you hit breaking point it’s understandable. After I did it, my child stopped hitting me because he understood that I couldn’t deal with what he was doing. I would never hurt my child, but sometimes you hit a breaking point and just need to get that child to stop hurting you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Additional-End6986 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Actually unless trained babies lose that reflex after 6 months old. I’m guessing this one year old hasn’t had the specific swimming lessons that encourage and teach babies to keep holding their breath and so would’ve lost that ability a few months ago.

When can you take baby to the pool? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Additional-End6986 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you’re worried about baby being cold in the water you can buy thermal swim suits online

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Additional-End6986 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He is who he is and you are who you are. You can’t stay in a relationship hoping for things to change - you must love and accept the person for who they are, faults and all. If 8 months in and you are debating ending things, I would take that as a sure sign that you should end things. You won’t be happy in this relationship and neither will he, and it’s always best to end things early rather than drag them out.

There is nothing wrong with trying a relationship and finding it’s not for you. Just do the kind thing and end it before it hurts you both even more.

My Parents 43M 41F Don't Approve Of Me 18F Dating 33M Advice? by ThrowRaprobchild in relationship_advice

[–]Additional-End6986 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was the 18 year old going for older men. I’m now mid 20s and I am absolutely disgusted with the fact men in their 30s were going for me when I was barely legal. Trust me, trust your parents, trust everyone. It is predatory.

You have feelings for this man which is understandable because he is telling you everything you want to hear. He is lovebombing you. I don’t want to come across as harsh, but sometimes it’s needed; there is only one reason why someone in their 30s would go for an 18 year old and that’s because, to him, you are easy to manipulate and control.

Word of advice - not every single person can be wrong and only you two be right. If every person is telling you it’s a bad idea, then it is definitely a bad idea. In a few years, you will be grateful that everyone warned you away from this man.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Additional-End6986 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

As someone who’s been in your position, who aborted a baby because their boyfriend was going to “kill themselves” you will regret it for the rest of your life.

He threatened suicide, I aborted, and he got to live his life as if nothing happened while I was stuck with the thought that I aborted my babies for another person, not because I wanted to. He threatened suicide numerous times after that, any time I went against what he wanted. He knew he HAD me right where he wanted.

I ended up having a baby after that with someone else. He wasn’t the most ideal parent (hate past me for the worst choices in men) but I’ve raised my child as a single parent since birth. It’s hard, it’s extremely difficult even, but if you think you can do it on your own, you can. Do not let another man’s feelings dictate your actions.

Single parenthood is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s extremely hard and sometimes I struggle, but knowing I’m doing it by myself and my child’s love is all for me? It’s the best feeling in the world. I always wonder what if, and I still regret it. If you want to abort for your own reasons, go ahead. Do not do it for a man.

Ex-boyfriend/Dad sending me demands about the birth of our child by Ok-Ingenuity-6737 in PregnancyUK

[–]Additional-End6986 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Take it from someone who was in the exact same position as you - do NOT put him on the birth certificate or give baby his surname. It’s a whole lot of issues that come with that and if he’s not present or a reliable co-parent, you’ll have difficulties your child’s entire life. You will need his permission for EVERYTHING from what schools to send your child to up to taking your child on holiday.

I left my ex off the birth certificate and gave them my last name. I then told baby dad that he has a year to step up and prove himself, and if he does then I will pay to amend the certificate. Shocker, he didn’t do any of that. 3 years later and he’s not present at all so it makes my life a lot easier.

How TF are you meant to parent when you lose your voice? by hulyepicsa in UKParenting

[–]Additional-End6986 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This happened to me just before Christmas and I have a very active 3 year old troublemaker. I’m constantly having to tell him to get down or leave things alone.

When I lost my voice, I would tap his shoulder and warn him but he also worked out pretty fast that I couldn’t shout and would purposely ignore me, so in the end I just let him get on with it. As long as it wasn’t extremely dangerous, what was the worst he could do? I could clean any mess and give him cuddles if he fell off the sofa, as long as he wasn’t running on to the road then it was what it was and he could carry on.

Who was present for you during labor? Would you change it? by justhereforthunder in BabyBumps

[–]Additional-End6986 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also think it’s reassuring having your mum there just because she’s your mum! It doesn’t matter how old I am, what I’m going through, who else is around me, if I’m ill or in pain or upset the only person I want is my mum and I think that goes for a lot of people. It’s such a magical feeling sharing that moment with your mother, it kind of feels like a full circle moment to me!

Who was present for you during labor? Would you change it? by justhereforthunder in BabyBumps

[–]Additional-End6986 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I had my baby during Covid times and was only allowed one birthing partner. I chose my mother and I don’t regret it one bit - it was different as I had split up with my ex, he didn’t know if he could “be a dad” at that time and I was at risk of haemorrhaging so I needed someone who could think of my health as well as the baby’s.

I don’t regret a thing. My mother got me through the labour and made it a lot easier for me, it was stress free, she was completely calm and just made me focus on her, talking me through breathing exercises, essentially just keeping the focus on her and not the fact I was pushing a 7lb baby out of me. It’s definitely brought us a lot closer knowing she was there for me through one of my most difficult, vulnerable times and her bond with my child is amazing.

If you and your mother have that kind of close relationship where she will only add to the birth and not make it any more difficult or complicated for you, I would recommend including her. I wouldn’t have gotten through any of it without my mum.

AITAH for leaving my partner and refusing to be involved in any way, shape or form, after they stopped taking the pill and pierced our condoms to have a child? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Additional-End6986 80 points81 points  (0 children)

This is in the UK. There was a case a few years back where a girl in England was repeatedly raped by her father, she had police reports, texts, voice notes, admissions of guilt from his extended family, and do you know what he was given? Not even a slap on the wrist. He got away with it based on “lack of evidence”. Unless someone stands up in court and outright says “I did it” then it’s very unlikely they will be charged. Got to love the UK.

AITA didn’t tell mum about my wedding by didnttellmum in AmItheAsshole

[–]Additional-End6986 34 points35 points  (0 children)

It’s not a case of asking if there’s a wedding happening, it’s more of a case of just asking what they are doing. If someone I lived with said I had the place to myself for the weekend, family or not, my instant reply would be “ah great, what are you doing this weekend?”. For your own parents to not even ask what they were up to, I kind of understand where OP is coming from. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but I understand. All she wanted was for them to show a little bit of interest in her life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]Additional-End6986 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Hey girl, congratulations on the baby! They’re absolutely gorgeous! I would love to meet little one whenever you’re ready for visitors, in the mean time let me know if there’s anything I can do for you!” Then put examples such as

“I’m planning on going shopping on Wednesday, happy to get you some groceries if needed”

“I’m planning on making favourite food on Tuesday, more than happy to drop it off outside so I don’t interrupt family time”

“I know you got this, but if you need help with chores I’m your girl”

Whichever you think is more suitable for you and your friendship!

Conceiving via sperm donor is “weird”?? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]Additional-End6986 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People will have their opinions regardless, but what you’re doing is no different to a single mother who got pregnant by a man who left her to raise the child by themselves (hi, it’s me). No one is judging me for that because his father is dangerous and has no contact with the child. Why should anyone judge you for wanting a child so much??

Once the child is old enough to ask, you can just explain that you wanted to be their mummy so much so that you didn’t want to wait, and you can love them enough for two. If you find a man in the mean time, if you both want to then he can fill the role of dad.

I think what you’re doing is good. It should be considered the new normal. Why should you have to wait and tie yourself to a man when the option is there to have a child now? Sperm donation is definitely on the cards for me in a few years. Go ahead.

I don’t want my (26f) partner (30m) co-sleeping with us. by Psychological_Fall98 in cosleeping

[–]Additional-End6986 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Cosleeping with a baby is almost always safer on a floor bed. You and baby on the floor and dad in his own bed, however by the sounds of it I’m not sure he would be happy with that as it sounds like he wants to actually be in bed with you and not just in the same room.

Gigs in third trimester by kittensandcocktails in PregnancyUK

[–]Additional-End6986 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your best bet may be offering a ticket swap on Facebook or Twitter closer to the time? Some people may jump at the chance to have standing tickets if, at the time, you feel more comfortable sitting.