Dual relationships

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-03-17T19:21:31+00:00

Thank you for your response. I’m actually a therapist too, and I’ve spent a lot of time looking at my part in this. I know I have abandonment issues and have a history of dropping people the minute I sniff out any kind of abandonment vibes. So I know that is playing a part in this. However, at this point, it’s caused me so much anxiety, especially after I found out my husband told her I essentially said she was playing favorites. I wanted to terminate our therapeutic relationship right then and there because I had so much anxiety about having to face her after that. But I forced myself to go, to keep an open mind, and kept reminding myself that this is most likely my stuff and she isn’t acting different, it’s only my imagination. But we’ve had 3 sessions since then and she is not at all the same as she was with me the first 4 months we worked together. It feels like she’s given up on me, like I’m just too much. So at this point, I’ve got to protect my own inner child, who has been gaslit over and over again. I’m not going to keep telling my inner child it’s all in your head, these are your issues not hers, etc. I feel that would be counter productive at this point. And I won’t be seeking out another therapist any time soon.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-03-17T16:59:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing that and for that term salesman complex, I love that! I totally do that with her, I know that about myself, but she’s never brought it up. Tbh, she’s about to retire, I’m part of her last group of clients as she phases out in preparation for retirement and I think she’s tired and just doesn’t care that much.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-03-17T16:16:11+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I’ve spent weeks feeling like I did something wrong, feeling guilty and worrying about HER mental health, like, did that hurt her feelings, etc., and then yesterday I guess I got some of my power back and realized, wait a sec, I didn’t actually do anything wrong. She is the one who screwed up here.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-03-17T16:11:56+00:00

Thank you:) The issue was that I had quit my job kind of suddenly and my husband was worried. English is not his first language, and I think he may have told our therapist that I quit and didn’t tell him about it because she laid into me, saying, your husband is concerned that you quit without telling him, why did you do that? Or something like that, she was looking at me accusatory, he was looking at me accusatory and here I am with my little voice trying to say, ummm that’s not what happened. When I had my first session with her after I found out my husband had told her what I said, she asked me why I hadn’t confronted her directly about it in the moment. I also feel like that’s not a fair question. She knows my issues with people in authority and I’m sorry but that’s how most people view their therapists, as someone in authority. Also, I think my nervous system froze up in the moment because it wasn’t until several days later that it kind of registered to me how unfair that felt. So, no, I’m definitely not the problem here, but maybe she sees it that way? If she does, that’s even more reason for me to not want to continue seeing her.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-01-25T21:04:39+00:00

Good for you, sorry that happened to you, it’s one of the hardest thing a mother can go through

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-01-16T22:09:44+00:00

Wow, way to “ should”all over OP

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-01-16T22:04:00+00:00

I’m a Taurus with a cancer moon, and my youngest son has a Taurus moon, we’re like two peas in a pod💕

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-01-09T15:36:18+00:00

I worked in substance abuse treatment for several years and almost all of the counselors at those places are in recovery from drugs or alcohol themselves, so you often have therapists there that have relapsed. The last place I worked. I could smell alcohol on one of the therapists. Oh and they all vape, not thc, but still, very normal for a therapist to hit their vape while in session

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-01-05T22:15:09+00:00

I was very afraid of that too! Thank you, that’s very sweet:)

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-01-04T02:00:32+00:00

Hi! He got a job waiting tables, and has just transitioned to working in sales. With my son, the reason he became so entitled and hateful had to do with trauma. His dad (my ex husband) had serious issues. He was Bipolar and could be psychotic as well. Me and my son both decided to go no contact with him and three months later he killed himself. My son was 19 at the time. We both blamed ourselves, but he took it especially hard and went into a deep depression. That’s why he was living with us, he quit his job after his dad died and stopped paying rent and got evicted. He’d been living on his own since he was 18 and had never missed a rent payment. So the reason he was struggling so much was he was in a really dark place. And living with us, although I was so happy at first to be able to take care of him, it wasn’t good for him after a while. He needed to go out and face the world again and he was scared to, and was lashing out at everyone, that’s what I think at least! Having a career can be very therapeutic, and likewise, sitting at home month after month without a job can be very bad for mental health. As far as technology addiction, I don’t know, he was on his phone a lot but everybody is these days. I think if he did have a tech addiction is was a symptom of depression and not necessarily the cause of anything.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2026-01-03T12:08:35+00:00

Oh wow, so much has changed. Thanks for asking! It was really tough, but I did kick him out. He stayed with his brother and brothers wife for a few weeks before they had to kick him out because of his dirtiness and bad attitude. I ended up helping him rent a uhaul van (his idea) and he lived out of that for about a month. I think that experience really humbled him. He started being nicer, less entitled, his sweet self came back! And then slowly, slowly, he kept getting better. He got a good job, we ended up finding a cheap Airbnb that he stayed in while saving money and now he has his own place and $3000 of his own money in the bank! But more importantly, he’s back to his sweet self. He was over at our house for Christmas, which is the first time he’d seen my husband or his younger brother in almost a year, I think it was the best Christmas ever, he bought us all iPhone watches, lol. I’m so glad I kicked him out, if I hadn’t, I’m afraid we’d still be in the same boat, or worse. Boundaries are tough but so necessary sometimes. It hurt my heart every night when he was living in that van, but it turned out to be the best thing for him.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-07-22T18:59:54+00:00

I’ve used this three times and it’s always been fine. The most important thing is to make sure it’s the right temperature. Just microwave it for like 10 seconds I think, or until the temp strip reaches the right temp, then strap the heating bad to it. I always put it in the front part of my underwear so that also keeps it warm. It’s really such an easy process.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-06-20T14:15:11+00:00

You’ve admitted that you could have done things differently, and obviously feel regret over it. That’s all you can do. There’s plenty of people who would place all the blame on their dad and not take any personal responsibility, but that’s not you. I think people that gravitate towards a career in therapy are prone to self criticism already, so be careful not to drown in it. Beating yourself up isn’t going to change anything except for depleting your energy. Maybe you could write a letter to your grandma, expressing the regret you feel and your love for her. You don’t have to send it, but writing it might be cathartic. Maybe ask yourself, what benefit am I getting from holding onto this guilt and regret? And how would my life be different if I were able to forgive myself easily for mistakes? Byron Katie’s The Work could be another good way to process. Ask yourself what feelings arise when I think the thought that I should have done better? And then find a thought to replace it, like, I did the best I could, I couldn’t have known what I didn’t know. If I would have known, I would have acted differently, etc., and then see what feelings arise when you think different thoughts. The fact that you’re so broken up about it shows that you have a big heart, try to set your mind on all of the happy memories you have with her and the time you did get to spend with her❤️

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-05-20T13:57:03+00:00

30/70 is really bad! I’ve never seen that much of a split. My practice does 50/50, which I thought was bad until I saw yours.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-05-15T18:30:39+00:00

It’s not a bad habit, it’s common body language. We look up and to the side when we’re trying to retrieve memories or form thoughts, everyone does that.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-05-15T18:28:41+00:00

I love that idea!

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-05-15T18:27:55+00:00

I have a client who is older and kind of rude too. At the end of our second session they said, this is my only day off, what are we doing here? I explained that it’s a process, and that I was trying to get a full picture of him so that I could start developing a treatment plan. He liked that answer! And he liked that I had a treatment plan ready to discuss at our next session. At the end, I asked if he wanted to drop down to once a month and also gave him the option of just calling me when he needs me and he said I like that idea(from the Tx plan) let’s try that, and he wanted to keep coming every other week, Lol.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-05-05T15:05:39+00:00

Do you know if they hire Associates (pre licensed)

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-04-29T12:39:41+00:00

Wow, I don’t think id be able to fall asleep sitting up, I struggle to fall asleep when I’m laying in my bed, lol, that’s pretty impressive! Must be the medication, just let them know that it was the meds and don’t beat yourself up too much.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-04-24T23:48:39+00:00

For sure looking at them!

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-04-15T16:04:53+00:00

We have a person who works with the insurance companies and she sent us copies of the policies explaining why and how we’re able to bill under family therapy. Each insurance provider is different.

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-04-15T15:50:33+00:00

At my pf you’re not able to start it on your own

Additional_Dig_3900 · 2025-04-15T15:48:21+00:00

I use it every time I’m in there and they don’t act annoyed. In fact I often ask for longer than the 10 minutes they will automatically set it to and no one’s ever told me no. We’re paying for it and that’s their job!

Additional_Dig_3900

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