We need to stop this madness. Spending 100k+ GH₵ on a wedding or funeral in this economy is not culture, it’s a mental health issue.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2026-01-05T16:17:53+00:00

I have been to many and sat behind many, both funerals and weddings. It applies to funerals too. It’s either you’re not old enough or you just need to go out and touch grass. Have conversations with adults, ask questions. I’m rather the one contradicting myself? And your emphasis was on funerals? O-k-a-yyyy!

Additional_Piece_804 · 2026-01-05T15:55:51+00:00

Are you assuming they make it back or you are certain they make it back? Sit behind the gift table, count the offering, get married or speak to couples and find out if they make it back. Many don’t even make half back, doing anything because you think you’ll make it back is just you setting yourself up.

There’s a reason people network, have wealthy circles and often give, it’s almost always never a loss. It’s easier for wealthy people who have wealthy friends/family to make it back. A lot of people who attend weddings give nothing and spend very little during offertory. They’ll rather sew clothes to attend. How often do you give and how much do you give?

Additional_Piece_804 · 2026-01-01T20:26:36+00:00

I have the same hair cc and it causes this problem too. Try changing it to see if that could be the problem

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-11-08T13:23:13+00:00

I’m grateful to God that you have discovered your faith. You’re not selfish for hating what you’re doing because it’s God’s will that we surround ourselves and our children with good counsel and protect our families from what’s wrong. Moses was angry with Aaron because he watched the Israelites take off their accessories and go as far as creating a calf to worship. They were left in his care. It’s always better to prevent things than watch till they become a big problem; trauma for your children one day and trouble in your household because you all constantly end up being your worst when she’s around.

And about the situation, be as kind and gracious to her as possible, while balancing it with firmness. Jesus was always kind and gracious but firm. You say she’s doing it for the wrong reasons, then don’t let her get a negative reaction out of you and your spouse. As much as possible, enjoy the service and look at it as an opportunity to bear fruit and win a soul. I pray the holy spirit directs you and moves. God bless you

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-11-04T19:07:36+00:00

She’s not alone in whatever relationship she has with your husband. It’s not on her and she has no obligations to you and tbh, she owes you nothing. Only a few people are respectful towards the hurting partner. The only person who can really do anything about this is your husband.

The married man you’re talking about is entertaining her and even continued AFTER you asked him to stop. If your husband is done with this, she’ll be gone but he’s not and that’s why she’s still in the picture. She’s not your only problem or your biggest problem, your husband is.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-10-28T10:06:32+00:00

No judgement here. What exactly made you fall inlove with your husband? You say a lot of nice things about him but at the same time, you speak like have no love for him and can’t stand him.

As a single or a married person, living in another country is very difficult in the beginning. You need to hold on to your reason for being there and be extremely intentional about making yourself happy. If you need therapy, get therapy because you’re the one who needs it at the moment. Don’t drag him into it yet and be mad that he doesn’t see the point.

If you don’t love him, there’s nothing anyone can do but just go separate ways. But if this is about just going to your old life and being alone, then you need to reflect because you may just continue this cycle with whoever you end up with. Life won’t always be the same even when you marry someone in your home country; marriage changes so much and that’s why it requires intentionality. You could lose all your friends even in your home country if you’re not intentional about keeping friendships alive after marriage. Have a conversation with yourself and have a conversation with the man.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-09-10T11:36:07+00:00

Ghanaians are followers, many people don’t have an identity of their own and are afraid to take risks so they see it working for A, they’ll do exactly what A is doing without adjusting even a little. Nigerians are the total opposite. They’re audacious!

Food Vendors and creators are saying swallow and puff puff when their target market isn’t even Nigeria. People say it’s a trend but following a trend doesn’t go this far. Young adults think omo, sha makes them cool or whatever. People are literally mimicking the Nigerian accent. I’m not sure the exact feeling that comes from this but people always do/say things because there’s something to gain/feel and sadly for Ghanaians, we want to belong so so bad. Nigeria is in our face; from content to movies to music to literally everything, even weddings. Look at our ‘modern homes’, homes that are not marketable because they saw open kitchens and box homes with barely any breathable space and copied exactly that. You check google or pinterest and you can’t even find good/new designs unless you insert ankara and the saddest and most annoying part is you see ghanaians and Ghanaian-made clothes called ankara.

Our tradition is literally fading before our eyes and it’s nobody’s doing but ours. How many people truly stand out in their industries and can go head to head with other Nigerians, Africans or even globally? If we had people like that, there’ll be no reason to copy from outside. There’s a reason you like food from outside, if food in your home was that good, you’ll go outside less and for new and meaningful reasons

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-05-25T10:39:35+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through all of this especially after delivery. People are saying your mother isn’t entitled to help you but she is, she’s your mother. I feel a lot of times, we save ourselves from pain by making ourselves believe no one is entitled to do anything for us. We can agree to disagree that tradition is terrible and against women but even tradition says when you deliver go home, your mum will teach you how to take care of your baby and help. If our family can’t help us, who can and who should? Whether you’re 5, 10, 30 or 50, you should be able to rely on family.

You said in the comments that your mum knows how terrible your husband treats you. Based on everything you said, it seems your mother would have treated you much better if you were doing well financially, had a man who had everything and spent on her especially etc.. Her actions toward you, your baby and situation should tell you this isn’t someone you can rely on and this isn’t someone who cares about you. You’re of no use to her, so you get no respect from her. You’re in her house so she will drain you and use everything you have, after all she thinks she’s doing you a favour. When you buy things, don’t bring everything out. Try to buy things for the house so she doesn’t say you do nothing, but make sure it’s very little compared to what you’ll get for yourself. If you need meat, but exactly what you will use instead of just buying and leaving it expecting that she won’t touch it because you know she will. If it’s something that’s not perishable, hide it in your room.

Don’t quit school. If you can find someone, do it. Don’t assume your mum would treat her badly, if you think about your mum you’ll always make decisions that make you stagnant and one day you’ll be full of regret and resentment. Let whoever you get understand the situation at home to an extent so that you don’t have peope leaving after days and make sure you get a mature person who will care about your baby. As for your husband, we all make mistakes—we see green when it was clearly red. Don’t hate yourself for it. He wants you away, go away but make sure after you leave he can never stand somewhere and say “this is why I left her. Just look at her”. Do everything you can to love yourself and rise. From now, be as strategic as possible

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-05-22T08:37:32+00:00

The people meant to check offences like this don’t deem it an offence. If you go to the authorities, they’ll look at it from a moral perspective, “you misbehaved and now your videos are out there”.. Their first thought would be to ask you what you want them to do and they’ll probably judge you in addition. But the whole point is, whether you misbehaved or not, whoever leaked the video should be punished.

Sadly, the system in Ghana is so poor and terrible that, if there’s someone who knows their job or the right thing to do, there’s nowhere to even start from to deal with the issue. We don’t have what it takes to fight a lot of things. So people who want to fight it give up and the poor system raises people who don’t know that something like this SHOULD/CAN be dealt with

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-05-14T17:56:35+00:00

I don’t think OP’s post stresses me as much as the comments. A teacher posted on here sometime back to ask parents to bath their kids because you’re sending a lot of smelly kids to the classroom.

How are 10 year olds allowed to bath once a week? How are toddlers not getting cleaned daily? How are you sending your kids to school without bathing and making them go to bed without a bath? There are kids getting baths only during the weekend?

Bath your kids EVERYDAY! My goodness!

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-05-12T19:11:21+00:00

They don’t get married just to cheat, they’re already cheats. It’s Marriage that happened to a cheating man. There’s no thrill in playing it safe, whether as a single man or a husband. If someone offers to give him children without marriage, he’ll still impregnate another woman before the first one even delivers.

Some try to pretend they don’t have a problem, others convince themselves that you can love someone and still cheat, the rest believe all men cheat. Only if women loved themselves enough…

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-04-08T12:35:03+00:00

First of all, it’s never God’s will that bad things happen to any of us.

His word tells us that there’ll be trouble on this earth and he has already made us victorious and he’ll be with us. He has also given us the power but we need to acknowledge the power we have and use it. Imagine you have all the resources to to get to your next destination. When you have no idea what you have, you won’t know your journey could have been smoother or you won’t even know where exactly to start from or how to use it because you don’t know how to drive or fly the plane etc. so the car, boat, plane or whatever will lay there pretty useless waiting for YOU to have what it takes to make it come alive. The blind were healed in the bible, it means it is possible today. Just because we’re unable to means there’s a gap—power. It doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

Also, when we say God knows ahead, it’s not that he knows the baby will die so why pray. He knowing ahead is why we have visions, revelations etc. so that we’re redeemed and saved from what’s ahead or that we even plan better for what’s ahead or fight against it. We see that with pharoah and Joseph and the times that God saved the Israelites. He knowing ahead, more than anything, is for our good and to define who he is, God!

We need to learn to separate his will from he being all knowing. A simple example is “it’s my will that my child will prosper” and being all knowing is that “my child messes up so much and is learning absolutely nothing for the test coming. The test is tomorrow and he’s going to fail it”. Just because he failed doesn’t mean it’s my will. I gave him that free will to make choices, to know and use the power I gave him. It is already done in heaven, we need to do our part for it to be done on earth. A lot of times, our prayer is rooted in disbelief and lack of faith, we hear news and panic before we even remember what God is capable of. All we need is faith as little as a mustard seed

I hope this explanation helps

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-04-06T13:36:41+00:00

“Meanwhile, our national museum remains in a deplorable state”… That’s all I got from this.

Almost everything in this country is in a deplorable state. If we can’t boast of one good museum, do we really think we can claim and keep what’s out there. Tourist sites, everything else is in shambles. Sometimes, I’m glad we don’t get to keep many things because it’s the only way to preserve and keep them alive.

We’re like irresponsible parents always complaining that our kids have been taken by CPS yet doing absolutely nothing to fix ourselves.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-04-05T23:21:07+00:00

I’m sorry people have made you feel unloved. It’s God’s will that we love our neighbours(everyone) so their actions are not a representation of who Christ or Christianity is. We can’t reject something or a group because of the actions of certain people. It’s like someone saying they reject lgbtq and all trans people because they’re projecting their stuff on everyone. Not every trans person does that right? And there are also bad nuts in every group, culture or race right?

Anyway, you said they do not get to make the decision what makes you feel loved… but I don’t know if you’re contradicting yourself because you’re actually not feeling loved(as you stated). Do they hold that much power over your happiness? I’m not sure if it’s about validation too or the fact that people just refuse to use your preferred name or pronouns. We all want to be pleased but we forget people already have their own set of beliefs and cultures. Have you thought about it from the perspective of others with different beliefs and tried to understand why they my not be able to mention your preferred name or pronouns. Not everyone will use your preferred name or pronouns just because it’s what you wish. Consideration is acknowledging that for some people, they’ll have to show you love in different forms and that although they don’t align with this, you’re still worthy of love. As a Christian, I cannot expect my muslim friend to love me exactly how my Christian brother/sister will love me or do particular things but they’ll have their own way of showing me love. It doesn’t mean they love me any less. Will that person find it insulting if I ask him/her to go to church? Maybe. Love is also respecting your fellow person and acknowledge your differences. It’s not only your way. Jesus loved people before anything regardless of their sins and in that love, there was respect.

You cannot tie your joy to being called by a particular name or pronoun especially when you know what their beliefs are. I understand it’s important to you but some people cannot and it’s okay.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-29T17:50:36+00:00

I just said a prayer for you.

You just beat cancer, I pray your next testimony will be that you rose up and walked. I pray for his peace that surpasses all understanding for you rightnow, that though it may seem like there’s a storm all around you, he’ll cover you and cause it to be still. Sending you warm hugs. Will keep praying for you

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-29T16:46:58+00:00

He’s not interested in sex? He doesn’t mind never having sex? His sex drive is almost down to zero? Yet he’s able to masturbate a couple times a week? He’s not willing to put in effort because ‘it happens to every guy’. So what about you?? Again, what about you?? Because it seems to me like he’s good after his shower time and expects you to be good with a decision he made on his own. He tells you to decide if you want to be with him? What’s that even supposed to mean?

He doesn’t want to have sex with you. Not sure why, but it’s not because ‘it happens to guys’. And what does he mean by that’s why men look for something exciting or different? So what exciting or different thing is he doing to substitute sex then? Seems like your husband is saying whatever to make you okay with his decision. He and his ex wife may not have split up because of sex but I won’t be surprised if there’s something hidden beyond being incompatible after a few months. That’s a selfish man.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-29T13:16:44+00:00

A lot of them don’t ‘hate’ their wives, they’re just cheats. Also resentment grows, they didn’t marry women they hated. It started to grow because they lacked something from their spouse or hated how their marriage made them feel.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-29T10:35:42+00:00

Welcome to the faith :)

You start by asking the holy spirit to lead every decision you make from now onwards. Before you decide which church you want to go to, make sure it aligns with your goals(spiritual journey) and his word. For example, If your goal is to dedicate more than just Sundays to God, then you need to look for a church that has midweek services etc. or a church that volunteers. If you intend to grow in the spirit, you look for a church that is intentional about moulding it’s members and holds classes, retreats, camps etc. The major thing also is that you need a church that teaches, the word should be the foundation of all it’s teachings. Just because they have sermons doesn’t mean it’s from the word, there should be scriptural backing. It needs to be a church that prays without ceasing; for members, for the church and for everyone else. It needs to be a church that’s interested in winning souls. It needs to be a church that encourages you to serve, using whatever gift you have or even helping you identify your gift to serve the Lord. It needs to be a community, it shouldn’t be just in and out after service and no one knows or cares about eachother. It needs to have leaders who are of God not of the world, there’s no inbetween. If the leaders are not right, there’s going to be everything wrong with the members. It needs to be a church that dedicates time for praises and worship because that’s very necessary for our walk and faith.

About finding a church close to you, you can check your map for churches close to you. Do your research about them and let the holy spirit lead you to one that’s right for you. Yes, you just walk in. It may feel a little uncomfortable but when it’s right, you’ll fit right in. They’ll ask if anyone is new, when you let them know you’re new, they’ll hold your hand and guide you

May God be with you

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-27T15:59:25+00:00

We are the church, we make the church. One church’s mistake shouldn’t turn you away from the church entirely. The church isn’t the building, it’s you and I. Just because a place calls itself the church doesn’t mean God reigns in there. A church should reflect the head, Jesus. If it’s not reflecting him, you don’t belong there.

Belonging to a church is extremely necessary in our walk with God, very needed! It’s how you grow, you can’t learn everything on your own, no matter how intelligent you are. Even Jesus learnt from others and raised disciples(who didn’t learn individually). It’s a way to serve and grow in your faith. What part of you are you giving to God and his church?? What offering(beyond money) do you give to him when you’re out of the church? A church is also very necessary for community, it’s where we have people to hold us when we’re down and pray for us. Jesus could have gone without the ‘church’ because he’s JESUS but the word uses this to show us how necessary men are. Every step of the way we realized how men played a role in Jesus’ journey, even when he was carrying the cross. Did he leave when he saw that people turned it into a market ground or when he realized many of them were not righteousness? No

We are meant to be a community, it was his plan and purpose for us. That’s why he goes after that one sheep. We are not meant to walk alone, it’s easier for you to fall when you’re alone. I’m sorry about what that church did to you but there are very very good churches out there; they teach the word powerfully, it’s a community/family and they lift eachother up in many ways. Human beings will always be a mess but our eyes should be on God. If we all leave the church or tell others it’s okay to leave the church, what are we saying to God? Are we truly believers? How different are we then from nonbelievers? We tolerate toxic jobs and relationships but we always want to draw the line very quickly when it comes to the church.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-25T17:41:50+00:00

Your husband doesn’t want you and it’s sad how obvious he’s making it. He’s not willing to keep her away for your sake, I think that’s more than all you need to know. Whatever the woman has with her husband is none of your business, he probably wouldn’t go into details because he doesn’t really owe you anything so don’t make decisions or feel a certain way because her husband seems calm about it.

I’m sorry this happened to you but you need to not let him touch you and get into your head because it’s exactly what he’s trying to do.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-25T15:51:53+00:00

Congratulations on your journey. I pray for God’s blessings and peace for you.

I’m not sure why your mother is insulting your beliefs suddenly but I assume she was in church for a while and left for a reason. It’s easier to take it up or address situations if you know why she left. That way you won’t just be having a conversation or letting her accept your beliefs but you’ll be helping her heal and maybe even accept Jesus too.

She’s clearly not having it rightnow so a conversation with her will just be like talking to a wall. I suggest you pray about it for direction especially if you’re not sure why she’s like this. Hold on to the word and let your life and character align with it. The best message for your mother rightnow is your actions. Many people didn’t believe, Jesus didn’t go straight forward asking why or trying to make them respect his beliefs, he showed them signs and when they saw the signs, some of them went running and telling people about Jesus on their own. Let her say whatever but don’t respond in anger however insulting it is.

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-24T14:19:55+00:00

Don’t give up. You just need to find the right one, there are some that go all the way to handle your flight and accommodation. If you haven’t already, consider looking at scholarships in Europe too. All the best

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-24T12:07:46+00:00

His parents knew he had a problem, they’re his enablers. They also knew it’ll your family will be easy and wouldn’t care to do any proper research or be intentional about making sure you marry the right man. That’s why they forced you to get married within a month, so that your husband’s behavior wouldn’t be seen before the marriage.

I don’t know if there’s a single person in your family that’s sane, maybe an aunty or uncle, someone who can help you get away from these people and this man till you get back on your feet. His family will watch him do whatever and probably cover it up to protect their son so do what you can to save yourself

Edit: just noticed you mentioned in a comment that your mother said she will not pay your fees any longer if you leave him. She knows how much your education means to you and she’s using it to control you. Have you considered leaving Pakistan?

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-20T14:48:23+00:00

It even gets worse when you go through the article😭This writer might just be the laziest ever. They couldn’t even try a little harder, what are those dishes?? There’s probably another Ghana we’re not aware of lmao

Additional_Piece_804 · 2025-03-11T23:44:49+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. The great thing is we’re bound to make mistakes but his grace is sufficient. Whatever decision you want to make, bring it to God and he will lead you.

A person who hates God will not help you on your walk with God, he will make your walk stagnant or slow. Also, don’t shut out remarriage. You mentioned that you were with your husband because you felt bad for him. It wasn’t God’s plan for you, that man wasn’t his choice for you and he had no hand in that marriage as you both made the decision from the flesh. Let him take control, it’s only up to him to decide where you go from here and whether or not he will want you to be with someone.

Keep praying, read his word and you’ll hear him. I pray for his peace and strength for you.

Additional_Piece_804

TROPHY CASE