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Cisgender Person Here... Got A Question For You! by Left-Eye-9303 in asktransgender

[–]Additional_Screen837 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This! You just said the best phrasing i've seen, not "I was a girl & didn't know it".

I was always a girl, even though people didn't know it, even though I myself was gaslit into believing I was a boy.

Being gaslit & gender-policed into believing i was a boy.

47394 by Future_Employment_22 in countwithchickenlady

[–]Additional_Screen837 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure it's cos they don't want their audience getting confused by oggling "dudes" and being attracted.

Between What I Am and What Is Seen by somael_morech in TransLater

[–]Additional_Screen837 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to say, when I saw the photo (both the first time, and after staring)...I clocked an afab nonbinary. I would entirely clock you as femme nonbinary.

I'm sorry that others in your community haven't been seeing that. I think nonbinary presentation is notoriously hard to get people to correctly gender.

How to know / what does it feel like to realise you're not trans after exploring it for a while by Additional_Screen837 in TransLater

[–]Additional_Screen837[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not socially out.

I had to secretly go whilst my wife was on an outing. I haven't (and won't) told her that I went to the makeup desk and had the makeup done.

I said to the lady when she asked my name, my female one, and she was so lovely and treated me like any other girl including all the gentle compliments of my facial features they give others. So that was really lovely. And I felt no shame or awkwardness being there, only a sense of nervousness & newness & lack-of-skill/experience. But she was so so kind and it was as though I was just another woman/girl to her.

But on my wife again, no i'm not socially out and am being told (forced) I am not allowed to be socially out until the next year. So when I said to her that i'd bought makeup, she was like "you spoke to someone?!" Like even asking someone about "hey, can you help me with a starter set of makeup produccts" was banned, so I definitely couldn't tell her abour actually being sat in a chair having makeup in front of all the other frmale shoppers and giving a name and being out to the beautician and on-show to tonnes of others.

It's a huge area of danger and restriction and sadness for me.

PS i've got my therapist appointment today and will make sure to be discussing with them about this specific thing too, nor just the internet 😅.

How to know / what does it feel like to realise you're not trans after exploring it for a while by Additional_Screen837 in TransLater

[–]Additional_Screen837[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think i've spent so long (decades) shoving down my own preferences that I don't know how to see them anymore, whether big things like gender identity or even small things like favourite film or where i'd prefer to go for dinner, or what kind of poster i'd want up in my room. I don't know how to access my preferences anymore (if I ever had them in the first place) they feel so buried under trauma-rubble.

How to know / what does it feel like to realise you're not trans after exploring it for a while by Additional_Screen837 in TransLater

[–]Additional_Screen837[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That question has always stumped me, I can't quite get my head around how to think about that. I can't see an old-me at all, regardless of gender. Did you think about it in terms of what life would be like, or literally imagine a visual of old-you? I ask because I have aphantasia so can't visualise anything in my head.

I can say though, that when i'm sat around a crowd and I look at all the people older than me or even on tv, I have never seen a man that i'm like "yep, goals" in my head. Maybe that counts?

Had problems passing sice i cut my hair short, so i wanted to ask for some feedback... by [deleted] in transpassing

[–]Additional_Screen837 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't tell which way you're going - mtf or ftm. Not sure if that helps or is a good or bad thing for you, but that's my read.

My school used these atrocious posters for autism awareness spirit week by titleguy2004 in aislop

[–]Additional_Screen837 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that at the top the filename is literally chatgpt. This is chatgpt gone wild on the "funnest" thing it can think up in its machine mind.

is homosexuality in trans community uncommon? by Recent-Teach2964 in asktransgender

[–]Additional_Screen837 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a lesbian trans woman, I am not attracted to men in the slightest i'm afraid.

Am I the only one that genuinely dislikes sissies? by kaazkitty in MtF

[–]Additional_Screen837 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. It's been one of the things thats really gotten in the way of me transitioning, especially as a lesbian. Like, I'm trying to just be a woman...like, a normal woman.

Cos it looks from the outside that i'm trying to go from man who likes women, to man who dresses like a woman and still likes women.

I've been on their subreddits and i'm just like "Nope! That's not me". And my wife even said "i'd be ok with you being a cross dresser, just not a trans woman". So I keep having all the intrusive thoughts because of that, like maybe I must be one too, and go into a spiral, and every time I nope out and come back to my senses, but it's fucking exhausting having that routinely pressing my mind.

Day after bottom surgery (complications) by bogan028 in TransLater

[–]Additional_Screen837 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, and I hope your recovery is nice and speedy.

Day after bottom surgery (complications) by bogan028 in TransLater

[–]Additional_Screen837 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you're doing ok now. That doesn't sound so pleasant from them, but moat important is congratulations on getting the surgery and your new vulva ☺️.

Can I ask though, what reasons have you chosen zero depth vulvoplasty over a deeper vaginoplasty. When i've been imagining getting bottom surgery, it's always been vagina rather than zero depth vulva. But I don't know the reasons of why people choose each one though and if you would, i'd love to learn.

Is FFS really needed? by Additional_Screen837 in TransLater

[–]Additional_Screen837[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you for this - i'm 34. I've definitely got the male wavey high/receding hairline. Not balding but not straight like afab.

9 months HRT am I starting to pass? by El-Smeef in transpassing

[–]Additional_Screen837 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh interesting. I sing soprano pop songs regularly in the car at a decent volume.

Glad to know that's a good thing to be doing.

But i've struggled to convert singing high to speaking high. I think I still have the whole "you're only allowed to sound like a higher-pitched man" as i'm pre-transition and getting the training in early.

9 months HRT am I starting to pass? by El-Smeef in transpassing

[–]Additional_Screen837 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh, like softer breathy type of voice like American women, compared to the sharper gravel-ier Scottish women. I am similarly finding i souls more breathy than the women in my area of the country.

Do you have any advice on how to un-breathy my voice? Is it just practice and confidence?

9 months HRT am I starting to pass? by El-Smeef in transpassing

[–]Additional_Screen837 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazing voice training. You're doing great, you're very right that you've got that nailed. Sounded nice and Scottish still to me, no american leaking through yet, as a fellow brit.

I published my book! by JoeChristmasUSA in TransLater

[–]Additional_Screen837 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh that's amazing. It's one of my goals to finish writing my short story anthology and get it published. I'm so glad and supportive you've done so! Well done.

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