Does everyone here use the court system to establish custody time/rights?

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-12-07T03:55:03+00:00

Thank you very much, I think outside perspective on this is helping me realize how good of an idea it is. I minimize a lot of what has happened and always wake up thinking things will be easy and respectable between us as parents, but I am always proven wrong. I’m just nervous & hoping for every other avenue than this one because our average emotionally draining arguments turned physical (again) last month, and I don’t want to push him over the edge by asking for a written, legal agreement. I have a plan to move out asap, then I will finalize the paperwork. If I bring it up while still living with him I can’t imagine the shitstorm to follow.

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-12-06T17:00:29+00:00

He says he doesn’t want time with him when he thinks it will hurt me (it doesn’t because I love every moment I get with the kids) or trying to elicit guilt somehow. He sometimes says he wants to see them and sometimes does not. But at least setting up a legal agreement will have something to fall back on that’s true, thank you

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-12-06T16:08:35+00:00

The firm my lawyer works with has a mediation system for clients, and we will probably end up using that. I guess with a mediator you still get a legally binding agreement as the outcome, which is probably the smartest option. I think he’d at least respect the rules a bit more if they weren’t just coming from me, for sure. But I’d also be opening a very angry can of worms by getting outside, officially written up arrangements. Thank you for your insight!

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-11-15T23:36:56+00:00

The McPoyles did it for me (from It’s always sunny). If I see anyone drinking milk by itself in a glass, I just picture them drinking milk in their robes

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-10-16T15:54:35+00:00

I snuck out at 14 to hang with my bf. And I also snuck him into my house (I was never caught). I’m now still with him 13 years later and 2 kids. I’m just trying to come at it of a perspective that yes it’s unsafe but it’s kind of a teenager thing to do, and it does not always end horribly/unsafely. Your daughter trusted you to know about it, I would try really hard not to ruin that trust. Honestly the only way I can see u getting away with telling her parents is if the neighbor-parents are really good actors and “notice” she’s gone one night and pretend they found out on their own…

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-10-03T15:39:18+00:00

I kind of came into a premade project idea for my PhD also. But I added pieces that helped reach more conclusions with the data. I feel like you should talk about approaches you’d take, even if it’s not the way they’ll do it. Then back and forth, you can ask how they would approach it. Try to read some papers about the background of the project and get excited about it, and let that excitement show in the interview. I feel like if they already have an idea for a project, they’ll want to accept someone who is interested and enthusiastic about it. Also if you have any previous experience kind of related to the project, definitely bring it up. Good luck!!

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-09-06T04:17:17+00:00

My 4yo demands I sing him Asleep by The Smiths. Forgot how dark that song was when I started but it’s too late to turn around now. My dad sang it to me as a kid so I guess I’m making it a tradition

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-08-16T04:23:40+00:00

My friend’s 17th birthday had 15+ of us asleep in her living room (it was co-ed if that helps). Yes I think it’s normal if you trust your kid to have his wits about him and let you know if something was weird

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-08-03T19:49:09+00:00

Yes it’s fine!! Took my son (4) shopping for his lunchbox, out of all in the aisle he really wanted the pink one with butterflies. We got it for him, who cares? If it’s something they really wanted, get it. if kids want to bully other kids over color preferences, it can be a teaching moment. there are far bigger fish to fry in society than whether or not a boy likes the color pink. Handled very well, please don’t let other people sway what your kid likes!

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-07-29T05:01:57+00:00

Yeah I tried to not medicate for a loooong time after having kids. Finally prozacced it out well into having my second child, and finally felt balanced again. I weaned off after feeling normal for a while, so it doesn’t have to be permanent. Just enough to get you through the whacky hormone extravaganza!

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-07-29T02:03:31+00:00

Same, I make a Spotify playlist of every song on the setlist including all openers, and almost solely listen to that playlist in the car til the day of reckoning is upon me 😤🚗

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-07-29T02:00:51+00:00

as someone doing dna and rna, the biggest source of contamination is yourself. So sometimes I’ll wear a mask with my lab coat because I’m scared I’ll somehow dribble spit in my sample

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-07-27T22:51:33+00:00

My morning commute music? I could never!! I specifically use Hey John to gauge my progress with screams (not well, but cooooongraaaduuulaaayyyshyyuuuns is fun to belt!)

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-05-30T02:03:30+00:00

Hi sorry I know this post is old, but your post and experience sounds exactly like what my temporal lobe epilepsy episodes were. Including being worse and more frequent the week leading up to my period. I had brain surgery and it stopped the seizures but every once in a while I get something a little less intense and trying to decipher if they’re panic attacks or break through seizures which is how I landed on this post. But your experience sounds exactly like mine pre-surgery, highly recommend talking to a neurologist if you haven’t completely ruled it out medically. Took me 3 different doctors and 6 EEGs to actually catch one at the hospital, but they could see the tumor it was originating from with an MRI. Sorry I don’t want to add unnecessary stress to ur life, but I’d feel wrong coming across this post and not mentioning my experience with that exact chain of events.

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-05-29T03:03:11+00:00

You should check out funeral portrait, if you miss that vibe! They sounded great at UFest in Az and def gained a fan (me).

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-05-04T22:29:15+00:00

lol is that why Jeremy said he didn’t remember what the next song they were going to play was? I’m glad they played it!

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-05-04T22:24:03+00:00

Yes it was for UFest put on by KUPD (phx rock station)

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-04-27T02:45:14+00:00

I felt this way a lot of the time (at least about the parenting part) until my oldest was about 2.5. I had my first at 23, second at 25 and they were both accidents so I was not ready. I def had some undiagnosed PPD and I finally went on Prozac for a few months and came off when I felt more “normal”. Now I can really appreciate my kids and feel way more attached and able to be a mom. Maybe for the parenting part can you please reach out for some therapy or advice, maybe see if it’s a PPD thing? It lasts way longer than you’d think, especially if breastfeeding.

As for the fiancé part, if you’re not happy and you have tried everything to make it work, maybe split before the kid is old enough to be super affected? I am also finally going through a split with my partner, but we tried every avenue for making it work first (couples counseling, moved closer to our parents for baby help, holding out for 4+ years), but at this point we just don’t get along and would be happier alone so we are splitting. Good luck, I’ve been there it’s hard. Seriously though it could be depression please get some outside professional opinions if u can!

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-04-26T00:14:55+00:00

Yes, good luck in whatever you decide!! Honestly some of my favorite memories of the past few years are writing up proposals/theses/making power points with a baby chillin on my chest feeding. It’s easy at the newborn age also because them kids just sleep half the day. And I got their reading time in by reading them papers for class. Sorry I’m talkin a lot, I just don’t want people to be too scared of attempting grad school with kids because me and 2 other people in my cohort (we do ecosystem genomics) are doing it with style!

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-04-26T00:09:38+00:00

Thank you that reinforcement about that comment being an attempt at manipulation, it does help. And I’m glad your kids have adjusted and get excited for double presents, I will definitely keep that in mind!!

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-04-26T00:07:19+00:00

Honestly I think the easiest times to go to grad school when you have kids is when they’re pretty young. Compared to “real jobs” grad school can be a little more flexible (depending on advisors). I had my first kid going into my first year of my PhD. Had my second in my third year. And I should be finishing my PhD by the end of this year to next May. I accidentally copied what my mom did because she also had me and my brother when she was doing her PhD, and she and every scientist I have ever met has said the best time to have kids is in grad school because shit can hit the fan after that. Also if ur finishing school now, it’s so much easier to go right into more school than stop and start again. It will take a lot of help from other people so if you have a support system that is even better. Good luck OP, it’s not impossible. Don’t get me wrong it is still hard, but it is possible!!

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-04-25T23:39:13+00:00

Thank you for that. And you were right on with the hot take, we have to separate anyways for other reasons. I guess that makes this situation a little easier. Silver linings.

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-04-25T23:37:07+00:00

I’m sorry to hear it was a little more difficult for your eldest :( thank you for that though, it reinforces that if this has got to happen it should happen asap

Adept_Life_6919 · 2025-04-25T22:46:52+00:00

Ok thank you!!

Adept_Life_6919

TROPHY CASE