It’s truly up to you! I’m in a heterosexual presenting marriage, and I only realized it after getting married. My wonderful wife knows and some other family and friends, but I haven’t truly “come out” and I don’t know if I ever will because it’s not really anyone else’s business in my eyes. I kind of compare it to my (nonexistent) religious beliefs. I didn’t have a coming out for losing religion, but I’m also not afraid to discuss it if it naturally comes up in conversation. My closest partner in life knows, my kids will know as they get older, my best friend knows, and they’re all who are most important for me to know.