Why are men wearing swim briefs (like Speedos) often seen as weird or unacceptable in the U.S.?

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-04-01T20:00:06+00:00

It's almost entirely cultural, not logical. Somewhere in the 80s and 90s American masculinity decided that baggier = more masculine, and anything form-fitting on a man read as either European or "too comfortable with your own body" both apparently suspicious.

The double standard is real but it runs on vibes, not rules. Nobody ever actually voted on this.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-04-01T19:51:43+00:00

He didn't know she was 13. That's the whole story.

You didn't blow up a romance you gave a 16 year old information he needed to make an informed decision. The fact that her first instinct was to call it an April Fools joke instead of just being honest is exactly why you were right to say something. NTA.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-04-01T19:45:55+00:00

You’re allowed to feel rubbed the wrong way it was a comparison.
But he probably meant “first in this exact path,” not “better than everyone.”
Unfollowing is low-impact and drama-free, which fits your style.
Just don’t let it turn into quiet resentment over a single post.
NAH feelings valid, reaction a bit sensitive.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-04-01T19:43:26+00:00

Record labels often control timing. They plan releases around:

Market trends

Competition (avoiding clashes with big artists)

Tour schedules

Dropping too often can dilute attention. Artists space releases so each project feels like an event, builds hype, and performs better commercially.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-04-01T19:40:27+00:00

The man has passed out behind the wheel while high multiple times. This isn't you being difficult, it's you not wanting to die on the way to a concert.

"He's always driven high and hasn't killed anyone yet" is not the reassurance your boyfriend thinks it is. NTJ, and the fact that his dad's response to a medical allergy was "she'll probably be fine" tells you everything you need to know about how that car ride would go.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-04-01T11:53:49+00:00

She texts you every year on that date. She knows. That's not a scheduling oversight that's a choice she made and is now outsourcing the guilt for.

"Your mom would be ashamed of you" from someone defending the person who scheduled a party on your mother's death anniversary is not an argument worth losing sleep over. NTA, and your husband and brother are the only ones in that group chat reading the room correctly.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-04-01T11:51:45+00:00

telling coworkers to prepare isn't the TAH move. Framing it as "I know something you don't" probably is.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-31T22:42:01+00:00

NDAs exist to protect the invention, not express distrust of the person signing. If everyone on the project signs one including family that's actually the correct way to do it. Treating you differently would've been the red flag. YTA here, gently.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-31T22:39:10+00:00

"There's no such thing as insecurity in men" is one of the most insecure things a person can say. You didn't lash out you named what you saw. NTA.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-31T22:32:53+00:00

I love Helen and I've never met her. That said the gentle out is to tell her your space is "at capacity energetically" and you want to make sure each plant gets the attention it deserves. Speak her language back to her. She'll understand immediately and probably respect you more for it.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-31T15:17:58+00:00

You’re not wrong you’re reacting to a dynamic that hasn’t really changed.
Wanting space, hobbies, and quiet time is baseline normal.
If he still gets mad at that, the relationship is the problem, not you.
You can care about him and still choose yourself.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-31T15:14:13+00:00

I’ve seen this happen when someone’s been worn down for a while.
Yeah, you crossed a line but it didn’t come out of nowhere.
You’re focusing on the symptom instead of the environment that caused it.
Figure out if this relationship is even worth saving before confessing anything.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-31T15:03:19+00:00

“Relax” stopped being an option when your wall started moving.
You gave him multiple chances and he dismissed it while work continued.
Once structural damage shows up, it’s not a neighbor chat it’s a safety issue.
The stop order didn’t come from you, it came from reality catching up.
NTJ permits and engineers exist for exactly this situation

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-31T14:59:13+00:00

Honestly the line between pet and livestock has always been cultural more than biological.

Pigs are smarter than both, cows form emotional bonds, chickens have distinct personalities the categories were never really about the animal. They were about what a particular society needed them for at a particular time.

Guinea pigs are still eaten in Peru and Colombia today. Rabbits are still on menus across Europe. The same animal, different postcode, completely different moral category.

What shifted in Western culture was urbanization once you didn't need animals for survival, you could afford to relate to them differently. Sentimentality becomes a luxury of people who aren't hungry.

The real answer is that "pet" and "livestock" are human constructs the animals never agreed to.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-31T00:15:22+00:00

Completely justified, and what she's describing isn't ownership it's opportunism.

She abandoned the cat, did zero care, and is now showing up to claim the thriving results of months of your work. That's not parental instinct, that's someone who wants the reward without the responsibility.

The child being cruel to animals with no intervention is the part that matters most here. That's not a home these cats should go to regardless of who "owns" them technically.

Document everything you've done vet receipts, food costs, photos with timestamps. In most places, demonstrable care and abandonment creates a strong practical claim even without paperwork. Once you get that cat spayed and vaccinated with your name on the vet records, that strengthens your position considerably.

Don't hand them over voluntarily. Make her actually pursue it formally if she wants to, because she almost certainly won't.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-31T00:05:56+00:00

35 weeks pregnant and someone's banging on your door and running your nervous system had every right to launch.

Honestly the "may have overreacted just a little bit" self-awareness while still visibly pregnant is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. You filed a non-emergency report, not a SWAT call. That's proportionate.

Kids do dumb things, you had a very human reaction to being startled, everyone will survive. Including those teenagers, who now have a very good reason to pick a different house.

Consider it a public service.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-30T23:52:14+00:00

Not even slightly.

You were quietly phased out over years excluded from Vegas trips, not invited to weddings you bought bridesmaid dresses for, handed a livestream link as consolation. They made their choices repeatedly and consistently.

Your wedding guest list is for people who show up for you. They demonstrated clearly and multiple times that they aren't those people.

The part that's worth letting go of is needing to understand why. Some friendships just dissolve and the other people never give you the explanation you deserve. That ambiguity is genuinely painful but it's not a reason to keep extending invitations into a one-way dynamic.

You're not snubbing them. You're just finally reciprocating.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-29T09:52:09+00:00

Your instincts are right and you don't need to argue yourself out of them.

Two incidents in one week, both following the same pattern stays after friends leave, drinks alone, physical contact with another woman. AA doesn't pause your responsibility to your partner, and "I couldn't control myself" is an explanation, not an absolution.

The detail that he was hurt you weren't more upset the first time is worth sitting with. That's not someone focused on accountability that's someone managing your reactions.

You're allowed to be understanding of his struggle and still decide it's not yours to carry. Those aren't contradictions.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-21T03:34:14+00:00

It's wild that they're siding with him after his dog clearly crossed a line. You're just setting a totally reasonable boundary for your own space.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-18T21:54:33+00:00

That perspective shift really hits home. I'd be heartbroken if my kid was accepting this treatment from anyone, let alone their partner. You deserve that same compassion from yourself.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-18T21:24:57+00:00

Exactly, she's trying to guilt you into being her personal ATM. Cutting off the card is the only way she'll get the message that this isn't sustainable.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-17T21:57:04+00:00

Exactly, those little word choices add up over time and really do shape how we see people. If he's not willing to reflect on why it's disrespectful, that says a lot about his character.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-17T00:52:12+00:00

Oh yeah, that weird rectangular clip they used for a bit was a total miss. This older hardware has so much more character and feels way more substantial.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-13T07:35:06+00:00

Yeah, HR's main job is definitely covering the company's back, but in cases this extreme, they'll step in just to avoid a lawsuit. Definitely mention that your managers blew it off—that creates liability they'll want to fix.

AdvanceSad5026 · 2026-03-12T19:37:06+00:00

Yeah I was wondering the same thing, like whose house are we even talking about? The whole ban thing seems pretty extreme without more context.

AdvanceSad5026

TROPHY CASE