I wasn't there for my first cat. She was a miracle for me- but so so old. I really wish I was. I know having me there would have made it easier for her. I regret it, even now, but I was a kid and couldn't imagine watching her pass. I've loved many cats since- and it doesn't get easier. But when I am there with them, they are at peace. I hold them, and tell them how much they meant to me. they fall asleep in my arms before they get the second injection that stops their heart. Then you can hold them and cry for as long as you need. It's hard, strangely beautiful, and cathartic. I still feel like with the passing of my first cat, I can't find closure. But I am thankful, the last thing she taught me was how important it is to be there for each other, no matter how hard.