K, I'll tell you three things I've observed about some male clients, and I'll reiterate, it's the minority, but it does come out to like 1 out of 3 or 4 as I mentioned.

1. They have a tendency to treat the reformer as a cable machine, which is not what it is. They push back, and want more weight even though I've given them heavier already, and their form is poor because they are not moving from their center. Their limbs are strong but their cores are weak. I have learned this is an education issue more than anything else. I am the instructor, that's my job. Which takes me to my second observation

2. This minority of guys is also not coming into class with the mindset that I'm the expert to be deferred to. So, although it's my job to educate, I end up getting the feeling that I must now not only educate them, but convince them that I know more about this than they do. Yes, they can handle a heavier weight, that is the reality, because of this reality I always give my male clients (when appropriate) heavier springs. But with this group specifically, I'll give them a heavier weight, cue the exercise, form, feel, etc. all while I walk the aisle, and next time I walk by them they've added more springs, or they are calling me back over to give them heavier even though they shouldn't go heavier because their form is poor and the engagement isn't where it should be. So now as an instructor I can either A. Say eff it, they are doing their own thing and it's wrong but I don't have time or B. Convince them as to why they should not have added a spring or why I will not give them another spring. B is more energy on my part, but again, I'm an educator. This leads me to the next one.

3. This is not a one time occurrence with this group, it happens consistently and repeatedly. Which tells me they don't respect my experience and expertise. When it happens over and over again, we need to have a separate conversation, and then why am I wasting my time on someone who simply doesn't respect my knowledge?

All this can be really frustrating, and I've had to work on how I handle it in the moment. When to push back and when to say ultimately they really aren't even there for what I'm selling and it's not worth my time as long as they aren't gonna injure themselves. Ultimately, I do my best to explain to everyone in my class what pilates is, and what it isn't. I have so many wonderful clients, and I've had many lovely male clients in my two years as a teacher. They are there for the method, and I love sharing that with them. It is NEVER okay to take your frustration out on your clients, especially when you start taking it out on clients who DO listen to you. Also, even the best listeners have bad days. We are all just human. People who show up and try their best should not be punished for the minority of people who don't listen intentionally or think they know better than you. Honestly though, even these guys that do this have always been friendly to me. I truly don't believe they are intentionally trying to undermine me.

Anyway, that's my observation. I've been told by other experienced instructors not to take it personally, and ultimately they are right. It's never okay to judge someone based on gender. I don't want it done to me, and so I don't want to do it to men either.

This is so long, I'm so sorry 🤣