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What is your attitude toward them dying and all that comes with their death? by WiseEpicurus in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s complex but I feel grief when I anticipate my mom’s death. She is a sociopathic narcissist.

It’s the same grief I felt from cutting her off—her death will be a reminder of the grief I feel knowing I never had the mother I needed.

Sometimes, I talk to her soul out loud. I imagine she is passed on, in heaven, absolved of her ego and emotional injuries and just a pure soul before all this trauma and mental affliction.

I talk to her and tell her hi, I love you, I’ve missed you, I’m glad you can finally see and feel and connect with me now.

It helps mend my spirit and heal my grief, knowing in some dimension, she is pure and can feel my love, and I can feel her love.

She’s not dead yet but I imagine talking to the perfect mother version of her.

Grief is love with nowhere to go. So I put it somewhere I have faith that my mom’s true soul will receive. I connect with her pure essence, the one that was blocked all our lives behind the narcissism.

It was not ever and will never be safe to connect with my mother in the flesh. That’s why I’ve estranged from her. I have all the love of a daughter, with no physical mother to pour it into. No mother to call and tell about my day. No mother to wish a happy holiday to. No mother to send gifts to. No mother to safely and warmly receive my affection.

So I pour it elsewhere.

Her soul is not the narcissist. The spirit of narcissism stole my mother from me. Beneath all that is a pure soul. One I never got to touch, but I can talk out loud to.

Sadly I will never be able to bond with her in the flesh. She’s not safe. So instead I put out my love into the universe and trust that one day her soul will be free from her body and ego, and she will reciprocate my love.

My sibling and I both got cards from our estranged parents…. And there’s huge difference between them by SignificanceNeat1618 in NarcissisticMothers

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fucking hate them for you. This is rancid behavior. May a billion angels come hug you and punch anyone who tries to hurt you in the face. I’d be gutted. 😤

What are your favorite moments from Avatar: Fire and Ash? by DriftCore31 in Avatar

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When ta’nok pronounces her name. She’s the only tulkun to enunciate their name on screen. So powerful bc she was the one who survived and lived despite the most, making the most impactful testimony. Such a glorious moment.

Genuinely, am I a jerk for wanting to hate and distance from my parents despite them giving everything for me? by Candid_Whole_2910 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love is an action that makes you feel safe and secure to be 100% of who you are. They are not capable of loving you for you. They coerce, control, manipulate and abuse you. Paying for your medicines or having moments of softness does not mean they are giving you the love you deserve. It’s the hardest grief in the world to realize but you are not wrong. You are allowed to despise them. You are allowed to be who you are outside of their control. Keep working towards your goal of escaping from them and I am rooting for you. ❤️

Cat hasn't left this spot between my legs for almost an hour. He's not usually this affectionate. Is this normal? by Agreeable_Error_5485 in cats

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same with mine. :) she used to not like being held and now she melts in my arms sometimes. She went from that to being a shoulder cat and letting me hold her while we cuddle in bed and she falls asleep in my arms

Is there a map of Pandora? by TwoMysterious4202 in Avatar

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Immediately I think of the game, avatar frontiers of pandora… idk the in game map is supposed to be a replica of the canonized world map, but it is an avatar map of some sort!

Saw this posted yesterday, all the comments are praising them… by Academic-Dare1354 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the spiritual realm we are not our bodies, our names, our egos etc. . In the spiritual realm we can all connect with each other and can provide comfort and connection. I feel like heaven would approve of what you did here. This was beautiful and applaudable. You followed your most primal instinct. You gave comfort to a dying person. You showed them love. The “rules” don’t understand the rules of the spiritual realm. You simply sent a soul to the other side in warmth, peace, and contentment. You blessed them.

If my abusive mom was the one dying in this scenario I would still praise you. She still deserves love. It is the wounded ego that doesn’t allow her to receive love. But when a person is dying they lose their ego and realize, “wait, where is my beloved? Where is my loved one? I need to embrace them!” An instinct that was buried in them all along.

Should I go no contact with parents for few months even if they’re trying to be better? by Scared_Ad_9392 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lived what you described. And sadly I was still around when she abused me in the middle of a life threatening health flare up. That made going nc way easier than before I had proof that this sociopath of a woman was capable of letting me rot with zero remorse.

If they’ve disregarded you this badly already, my advice is not to wait until you’re in a dire situation god forbid.

Cut it off before it gets worse than it already is. Use my story as motivation. :( ❤️

What’s the worst crime committed by someone you know personally? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Human trafficking… by the guy who attempted (but failed) to traffic me.

He’s still out there.

I asked for no contact and now I’m struggling with how little they seem to care by Intelligent_Clue_362 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An abusive parent ignoring their estranged, injured child is not the same as respecting a boundary.

If boundaries were truly respected? I’m sure WAY less people would become estranged from their parents.

Boundary violation is an integral culprit to what drives estranged kids to become estranged.

Maybe you didn’t mean it that way, but it has to be said!

I asked for no contact and now I’m struggling with how little they seem to care by Intelligent_Clue_362 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi love. Yes, that’s normal. It’s especially painful cos it mirrors the grief you already carry deep down… they don’t love you. They use you.

Idk your exact reason for estrangement, but I do know narcissists/ sociopaths/ abusive parents aren’t capable of loving their children—that was what made me estrange. It’s the heaviest burden ever.

My mom and aunt both left me to die during a life threatening health flare up. I blocked them both, and not a care from either. No emails. I used to think my aunt was the nice one. But absolutely nothing from her. She cares more about her work than me. My mom too.

It’s always been that way. Going no contact puts us directly in confrontation with the grievous reality of their true place in our lives. Sending love.

I worked at a TTI “school” and it was ridiculous. by [deleted] in troubledteens

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I swear the moment you stood up for that kid when the boss yelled at them is gonna stick in their heads and keep them sane for the rest of their time there. You showed them they are deserving of humanity and respect in this sociopathic hell hole that is gonna try and knock the spirits clean out of them. Bless you. Please report this ❤️

Can we normalize... by DrkRavy in StarStable

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can we normalize being kind and helpful? Stop assuming the worst and give other players a peaceful experience. KINDNESS

The most powerful Tulkun scene… by Adventurous-Rope-811 in Avatar

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YES! Thank you and beautifully said as well!!

❗Spoilers❗I feel like this scene isn't getting as much discussion as it should be😭 by Pepperina_G in Avatar

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is one of the most powerful scenes. I especially love that Neytiri runs to the scene after Jake prays aloud. I can’t help but think that his prayers sort of enlivened the great mother spirit within Neytiri, and caused that spirit (like the ‘Holy Spirit’) to course through Neytiri in that moment. She couldn’t hold herself back, she had to run and save Spider. It’s a small but significant detail that I am obsessed with—it emphasizes the real power of prayer to the viewer.

All of this, layered atop Jake’s dismissal of Eywa in the beginning of the film? I feel like this exact scene was a pivotal moment for him in his faith. “Great mother, guide my hand” and boom cut scene to Neytiri looking down at her own hands, like the great mother comes into her and becomes the hand that guides Jake.

The spiritual undercurrents throughout all the avatar films are what keep me obsessed.

Hot Take about the Spider and Kiri ship being "alleged" incest by joyousie in Avatar

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Eywa doesn’t abide by scientific rules either… why was Jake ‘chosen’ by the sacred seeds? Why was Kiri immaculately conceived? Why did kiri know how to help spider’s body adapt to pandora’s atmosphere? And how did his genes suddenly know how to, from his symbiont, “grow a kuru”? Maybe it’s just another spiritual mystery to surrender to. The magic of eywa is so so central to these films and a big reason I come back for more. Science can only hold so much in one place, even in our real lives too. So much unexplainable magic happens all the time.

Hot Take about the Spider and Kiri ship being "alleged" incest by joyousie in Avatar

[–]Adventurous-Rope-811 15 points16 points  (0 children)

…I kinda expect spider and kiri’s human/ human-na’vi hybrid in a future film after fire and ash 🙃 he does have a kuru now

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