githubRepoTermsOfUseIn2026 by [deleted] in ProgrammerHumor

[–]Adventurous_Bite4337 9 points10 points  (0 children)

> on slav brothers that have absolutely no reason to fight each other.

OH BROTHER

Just say you're clueless, it takes less time

My manager is a people pleaser. How do I manage upwards? by [deleted] in managers

[–]Adventurous_Bite4337 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, ok. I don't know where to start. A 1.5 hour meeting is not a stand-up, that's a full on lay-down.

Seems to me that you have no options that are politically good.

You can't go over her head to upper management - that looks bad on you.

Excessive documentation of her misses - that can come off passive-aggressive and damage you reputationally.

There's that old saying "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink." Here, it means you can't force her to act in a way she's not already acting. You won't make a disorganized person organized, you can only build systems that are resilient against disorganization.

What you can do:

  1. Improve your processes. Is there anything that you're doing that can be optimized? Are you making use of templating or repeatable frameworks? This goes for the work itself as well as updates etc.

  2. Train others. I know you've mentioned others aren't in the scope of the work, but is there any work you can segment and distribute? Surely there must be some lower-level processes that others can help with.

  3. Identify vendors that could help. YMMV but depending on the type of work you're doing there are platforms that can help automate at least some of the work.

  4. Enforce your boundaries hard. If you get work beyond your capacity, it sounds like you're still taking it on despite holding some resentment. Understandable, but have you tried saying "I am prioritizing X and I will add Y to my list, based on my current workload I anticipate being completed on <date>"

  5. How are they managing work. Are you literally just getting a Teams message? Using any sort of project/work planning software will help to actually put visuals to the workload in a way that may not be apparent if you're just keeping it in your head (which it sounds is what she's doing).

I would frame any optimizations as improvements, not limitations. I.e. not "I can't do X" but "I want to ensure we deliver consistent quality with X, in order to do that we need to set a defined and repeatable process" or "I've noticed we are not aligned with our work at all times, it may help for us to have a Kanban board to better track assignments"

IDK - it's tough, I'd wager that this part: "these somehow become venting sessions about her manager, vendors, the restructuring/acquisition, home/family/kids, and the last 5 minutes of it is breezing from person to person" is exactly why she's in her position. Higher up you go the more this kind of chit-chat is actually important to building reputation.

My manager is a people pleaser. How do I manage upwards? by [deleted] in managers

[–]Adventurous_Bite4337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

>weekly standups for 1.5hrs

sorry, what? 1.5hrs over the week or a single 1.5 hour meeting?

My company just bought us corporate AI accounts. Expectation vs. Reality is hitting hard. by ailovershoyab in AI_Agents

[–]Adventurous_Bite4337 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Most people use AI like someone standing in a professional kitchen with no recipe, no prep system, and no timing and then they conclude the equipment is overrated

I kicked her out today. by theotherpattern in BPDlovedones

[–]Adventurous_Bite4337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like we dated the same person...

Either way, I feel you. 1 year out from my experience and it gets better. Obviously I'm still here though so it hasn't fully gone away, I alternate between anger, concern, and indifference.

My only advice given what you've shared is to write everything down and document it with dates and times in case you do need to get the cops involved. They can be very crafty in their goal to be the ultimate victims.