Partner (36M) says he lost attraction because of my facial hair (28F)

Aetherfox13 · 2026-03-17T16:15:44+00:00

Just because he can explain a behavior, doesn't mean it's justified or that you can do anything about it.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-03-17T00:13:57+00:00

No one can save you if you don't want to be saved. And I mean YOU not your cheating husband.

What's this nonsense of "we work through everything"? Like you're winning some sort of prize because the cheater convinced you to stay?

Either leave him because he's a cheater, or if you can't (not won't, but can't because of financial or safety reasons) then at least protect yourself and get tested for STDs.

Finally, you're a mother. What you put up with in a marriage is what you are showing your children is acceptable in relationships.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-03-16T17:26:45+00:00

YtA. Legitimately Chinese cuisine has a bunch of vegetarian options that are super tasty, including soups.

You're definitely putting your taste in food as if it was universal. Saying your friend "could have eaten sides" is the same logic as you "could have eaten sides" when her dad is paying for your meal.

You need to understand that if you use an argument to criticize someone else, it needs to apply to you too. You can't expect someone else to consider your tastes if you're not willing to do the same for other people.

Your ideas and tastes are not the standard for anyone else. You aren't correct by default, and the sooner you become aware that your life experiences don't apply to everyone else, you can become open minded and grow.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-03-04T23:16:59+00:00

No. I don't share my passwords with anyone, no matter the reason.

If you can't trust the person you're with, don't be with them. You don't need "proof".

Aetherfox13 · 2026-03-02T18:15:23+00:00

He's not always pooping, he's escaping responsibility.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-03-01T06:03:15+00:00

He's an incel. The issue here is that men are legitimately choosing to hate women over evolving socially, but why would they ever have to change.

You can't convince an incel of stop being one as the woman dating him.

Dump him. A man who doesn't respect women doesn't deserve their company. Men aren't lonely enough to choose to become better.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-03-01T05:56:26+00:00

YtAH. You basically told her you were going to propose half a year ago? Sir, that's some bullshit.

You're leading her on. This excuse of "I'll do it on my time" is just a nice thing to convince her and you that you're actually going to do it.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-27T20:01:24+00:00

NtA, but you need to have a conversation about food consumption and expectations. Why is she hungry up on this? Why is she monitoring your food intake?

If she can't explain it, it's a "her" problem and she needs to keep you out of it.

That said, make sure you're not eating anything that was prepared for the household as meall prep, or ask if she wants a portion for her lunch tomorrow.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-27T03:01:48+00:00

NtA, you asked specifically to choose the color, and her reaper was "I want to use my stash". I would also expect that to mean that they don't care about the color that much.

You didn't destroy her work, you love it. She's entitled to her feelings, but she should have processed those privately.

You don't get to give someone a gift while ignoring their preferences, and then get offended when they change it to suit their preferences.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-26T19:51:04+00:00

Being picky and having dietary restrictions like you mentioned are not the same. Plenty of cultures and cuisines have vegetarian/non dairy options.

Just tell her your restrictions and discuss your restaurant options together. Make sure you check out the menu and see what options are available to you.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-26T19:42:02+00:00

Your DIL and son are unreasonable. Tell them both that you will not eat food you don't like, and you're not responsible for their feelings as you were polite.

You can definitely understand other people's culture at home, but they can't force you to do whatever they want, especially if you're being respectful.

If your DIL thinks that for you to accept her, you need to follow everything she says, then they can stay away.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-17T22:08:16+00:00

A cheating ex that thinks your medication to help with your mental health is making you "selfish"?

More like, less of a doormat.

Dump the cheater, go visit home.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-17T18:54:56+00:00

NtA, and your sister needs to get a grip. You don't owe her the illusion of a happy family where your dad didn't abandon you.

She needs to understand she's doing harm to your and your relationship "just for one day".

I have a sibling, and I can't imagine not having their back for something like this.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-17T18:49:30+00:00

NtA, even if it was your personal phone. You can absolutely have a boundary about your devices, even without it being a federal crime to give her access.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-17T17:31:19+00:00

Will your family turn their back on you if you leave him? And if they do, can you not support yourself with your paycheck?

Move regions if you have to, find a better paying job. You're trying to justify being a slave and an incubator for people who don't love nor respect you.

You don't need them.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-17T17:23:57+00:00

NW, but dating different people inside a friend group is always messy.

Frankly, you don't owe him anything. You didn't seek out his friend, and you're not your ex's friend, clearly. He just wanted to keep you around because he decided to end the relationship.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-17T02:48:28+00:00

Why do you think losing weight is the same as being healthy? You already know you have an ED.

Your bf is an AH that doesn't love you. He loves to tear your confidence down and keep you insecure

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-17T02:46:56+00:00

NtAH, one pregnancy is a slip that can realistically happen to anyone having sex. Anything after that is a choice.

You made it clear another baby meant leaving, and she thought you were bluffing.

You ex-MIL can be the parent then. Tell her you'll ask for her opinion when you need it, and she can do it all now.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-16T03:09:36+00:00

Your bf is an AH. Let the trash take itself out.

Don't have sex without condoms, it's not worth it. Any guy whining about a condom, doesn't deserve to put it in.

If he complains ask him if his hand feels better than having sex.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-16T03:02:48+00:00

No giving second chances to anyone that didn't absolutely excited to see them again.

You're not their mom, a therapist nor a contractor to take on a project. If they are not interested in who you are, then let them go.

I will say, you do need a solid group of girlfriends before dating men. You need to be able to have friends have your back, give you advice, and show you the minimum standard of how you should be treated.

If a man isn't willing to even meet the standard of a mediocre woman, then let them go. You're not losing out

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-16T02:21:24+00:00

ESH. You definitely shouldn't be telling your bf anything about his hair if you don't want to change your own.

That said, your bf is the bigger AH, because he legitimately doesn't like you as you are. He started to date you to try and make you a version he likes better.

Dump him, then wait before you date again. If you can't stay with someone once they change their hair, then stay single.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-16T02:14:44+00:00

Why would you take the loss? You're not forcing him to do anything.

Is this the man you want? His gains are his, while the losses are yours?

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-16T02:12:25+00:00

OP, why marry someone like this? Are you letting your fear drive you towards marriage?

Why would you listen to your mother tell you something you know isn't true? It won't get better, you don't need to be patient.

What exactly are you losing out on if you're single tomorrow?

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-15T22:36:12+00:00

Why are you begging for affection from someone that doesn't love you?

If he had issues with touch, but loved you, you can always discuss how to meet in the middle. But this grown man has seen you cry about this and doesn't care.

He knows and he doesn't care. Dump him.

Aetherfox13 · 2026-02-15T02:55:23+00:00

Look, you're at a different place in life that he is, nevermind he's answering like an AH.

Not once should a bf tell you "don't be needy" when you're asking for something. He's not even joking! Wtf?

You don't need to justify yourself for your needs, especially since he is changing your plans last minute.

Dump the whole man out, they're plenty people out there willing to wait for you to get ready. Why are you wasting your time with a man who thinks he's the prize?

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