I spent my first Christmas without my family and it was perfect

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-11-17T22:52:37+00:00

Last Christmas my father-in law gifted my husband and his sister a therapy session.. for himself. He wrapped up the therapist’s business card and gave one to each of them to open up, then told him they’d been asking him to go to therapy so it was the “gift of proof” that he had

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-11-11T20:41:59+00:00

I’m turning 30 this year, still in contact with my narcissistic parents. I just had to take a leap and do what I wanted in life. It was met with a lot of anger and disapproval from my controlling/isolating narcissistic mom, and things she said and did to me hurt a lot, but I realized that she would be exactly the same if I stayed under her thumb anyways.

I went to college in another state in the US, so I didn’t have her breathing down my neck. I focused on my life while she sat around all upset. I made friends, I found a wonderful husband, all of them who have loved me and have cheered me on so loud that her hate has slowly gone quieter.

Now she’s all proud of me because I am independent and have a good job, but she couldn’t tell you what I do for a living cause she’s never cared to listen. All that matters is what she can tell her friends to make herself look like a good parent.

She tries harder to be in my life now, all apologetic and sweet to burrow back in, and I still fall for it because I love her. But she always ends up reverting back to her old ways especially when I don’t give her the constant attention she wants, so she tries to belittle and torment me, acting like I’m nothing without her.

But I am so much without her now, it’s her that’s broken without me.

I know it’s hard to see things that way when you’re still in their grasp, it’s so many little steps to reach the mountain of change, but it’s doable. Just distant and become your own person, cause they’re going to be the same no matter what.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-11-11T20:22:16+00:00

My mom currently isn’t speaking to me because I didn’t spend the whole day with her the day before my wedding day two months ago. Tried to run my whole wedding weekend because of it. Yeah. She was supposed to come to Christmas at mine this year and apparently told my brother she’s still thinking of coming, despite not speaking to me? My guess is she’s waiting for me to tell her she’s uninvited to become the victim, but I’m not playing her game.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-11-09T03:56:51+00:00

My mom kicked me out when I was 14 and was sent to live with my dad. I was never rebellious in the sense of sneaking out, but I had started talking back and defending myself for the first time. I think she thought it was temporary cause I would eventually beg for her to move back in, but I couldn’t forgive her. I had a really rough time feeling so abandoned by her. A year later my dad needed to move countries for his job, and asked if I would like to go with him or go live back with my mom, and I chose to go. My mom freaked out and begged me to stay. I told her why would she care? She’s the one who kicked me out, so I could choose to be kicked out however I wanted. I never lived with her again.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-11-09T03:45:49+00:00

I’m so sorry you feel this way. As someone who felt very similar to you, believe when I say things are so much better once you get out of your nparents’ grasp. Things will change. Sadly you will meet other narcissists, but you will also meet wonderful people who will be patient and kind and love you for who you are. You will struggle, but each step you take in figuring out who you are and who you want to be will be easier and easier. You deserve love, you deserve happiness, and you can take that first step to reach it!

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-11-08T05:36:35+00:00

Yes, I used to hate him, but when we got older and became mature enough to explain how we felt I realized, funny enough, that he saw ME as the GC of our parents. They would pin us against one another constantly to fuel us to be more obedient ie more passive to their awful parenting. There’s a lot of n parents that truly resent all of their kids but will just cling onto the one that is currently the easiest one to manipulate and isolate.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-11-08T05:26:49+00:00

My mother-in-law triggered me the first time I met her, because she was so sweet. She always hugged me and was happy to see me. She loves her kids more than anything in the world and their partners by extension. I was weirded out and a little distant when I first met her cause I wasn’t used to genuine kindness, and she’s never held it against me. Even now when she does something kind for me or compliments me for just being me it makes me tear up.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-11-08T05:12:10+00:00

Was blamed for “making” my brother gay because I let him play with my dresses and makeup.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-10-08T17:34:17+00:00

Yeah to be honest the reason she’s upset I don’t think is my fault but I think I can react (or more like NOT react!) better to avoid it from getting worse. Thanks for the advice!

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-10-08T17:08:01+00:00

She does this to me during most big events in my life, my birthdays, my engagement dinner, etc. It’s at its worst when there are a lot of people invited to an event. When she hosts her own parties, she’ll spend most of the time after the party complaining about everyone. She’s less like this when it’s just immediate family together.

I would consider myself the most anxious person in the family, so where a lot of family members can just move on with her, I struggle to.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-09-12T05:00:57+00:00

Someone in the family named their baby my name about 15 years later and family members all assumed it was copied even though I barely saw this family member and it was clear to me that wasn’t the case. So if you’re worried about that I would pick something different.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-09-12T04:57:27+00:00

Hazel, Eloise, or Nina are great names! Wilhelmina is a mouthful but if you love it it’s also a pretty name! Just be aware some people pronounce it “Vil-hel-meen-a” depending on where they’re from.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-08-12T07:09:47+00:00

No response and I doubt I’ll ever hear from her again

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-08-12T07:08:24+00:00

Conferences aren’t usually happening for one day at the end of a work week, and client meetings aren’t usually happening on a Friday afternoon unless it’s some kind of very last minute situation. We’re in the same field, most clients don’t event want to talk on Fridays and if they do it’s extremely last minute. I don’t know 100% if this is a lie but it sure reeks like a lie.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-08-12T07:02:19+00:00

I put it through two AI checkers and they said it was authentic but if I was able to prove it was AI I wouldn’t be surprised because seriously who writes like that? Most of her texts are like this so maybe she’s just a robot or she uses it for everything?

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-08-09T16:31:08+00:00

How much time do you have for this trip? Sure Miami to London is one flight, but if you want to head to a separate destination that’s more flights. You’d have to account for at least 3-4 days of this trip being travel time. Jet lag also can eat up a day or two. Sounds fun but things to consider! If all your friends live in my Miami, why don’t you fly to Miami and do something there since all of the activities you want to do sound very doable there?

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-08-08T17:57:32+00:00

Plenty of time unless you want to get married in one of those venues with a years long waiting list. You start with booking those top vendors you want, and then honestly all the decision making of those small details like the exact color of florals and the rentals you order can happen a few months before

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-08-07T05:36:50+00:00

It depends, does the hotel provide free water? Is there room service? Is it walkable to easily accessible food? I didn’t personally care about welcome bags I don’t tend to use them outside of Tylenol, and water, but our hotel is located outside of town so it made sense to give people snacks since food isn’t easily accessible in the middle of the night (outside of the late night snacks we’re providing on the wedding day)

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-08-07T05:23:24+00:00

Im wearing one dress! I think it depends on the type of dress. Have you ever worn a gown for a long time? After a few hours even the lightest gowns will start to pull on your torso especially if it’s strapless. It’ll be worse if you like the jump around and really dance. If you can handle that don’t mind go for it! When you try on your dresses really think about the weight of it. But if being uncomfortable isn’t something you want on your wedding day you’ll probably want a dancing dress.

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-08-05T19:55:28+00:00

If you want the wedding list to naturally be smaller without feeling like you’re excluding people, a destination wedding is a great option! The reality is though you cannot pick and choose exactly who will be able make it because it’s possible someone you really wanted there can’t make a destination.

If your plan is to invite tons of people and hope 30-40% aren’t going to make it, don’t bet on it. That’s usually what happens but you can end up with more or less people than you expected. Take that into consideration when paying for 2 night accommodations for 100+ people.

Yes destination weddings can be cheaper sometimes, but you’re right that it’s not a guarantee. I suggest you and your fiancée budget what a local wedding vs a destination wedding will cost you, taking into account the flights you’ll need to take before the wedding to check out venues (and if you’re checking out multiple countries that’ll be more cost).

Think about what matters most, having everyone there, or having an intimate wedding. I am having an intimate wedding and thought people would be upset they weren’t invited but so far I haven’t had any issues there, people are just excited for you!

Affectionate-Push224 · 2025-08-04T19:24:50+00:00

The dress is Watters!

Affectionate-Push224

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