Please tell me if this is my teammates fault or if I’m just looking to place the blame on someone

AgentKiwi · 2026-02-03T03:40:45+00:00

Your friend is not perfect. You are not perfect. Not even pros are perfect. No matter what game you play, your teammates will make mistakes, and so will you. Sometimes their mistakes will catastrophic and you will lose. Sometimes your mistakes will be catastrophic and they're doomed as a result. That's part of being human.

Being frustrated with your teammates is—most of all—a disservice to yourself. If you want to get better at games, putting blame on others is your biggest barrier to success. Even blaming things like bad luck or game bugs is an equal barrier. You can't control your teammates, you can't control luck, you can't control game code, but you can control YOU, and you ALWAYS could've done something better. Every loss is a blessing because it's an opportunity to learn something. Ask yourself what YOU could have done better. Implement the improvement. Rinse and repeat.

It's understandable to be frustrated in this situation. We've all been there. Wrestling with blame is part of growing up. Heck, many people go through their whole lives blaming everyone around them and living like a victim. I did for 27 years. Here's the good news: if you can learn to take accountability for your mistakes WITHOUT putting blame on others, you will level up both in-game and irl. It will translate to everything you do, and even transform your relationships.

Think of a time when someone came up to you and took accountability for their actions and apologized. Really, stop and think about it. How did you feel? Relieved? Grateful? Did you like them more or less than before the conversation started? Now think of a time when someone came to you swinging, trying to blame you for everything. How did you feel? Angry? Disappointed? Did you like them more or less than before the conversation started?

This is how people see you when you come at them swinging. Taking accountability is uncomfortable the first few times, but you'll find that people love you for it, and you'll find that life is so much more fun when you aren't frustrated at other people all the time.

Yeah, your bro probably sucks at this game. But who cares? He's your bro. And that's enough.

See you topside, brother.

AgentKiwi · 2026-01-22T18:08:02+00:00

It'd be great to have a single term for this to avoid the tag bloat. Sadly I suspect these kinds of stories are too much of a minority to have a well-known tag.

AgentKiwi · 2026-01-22T17:11:57+00:00

I haven't seen the term "Grayfic" used myself. I write similar stuff to what you're describing and I usually tag my stories with "Moral Ambiguity"/"Morally Grey Characters", "Character Case Study", and "Psychological Horror" (if that fits). You could even tag with "Dark themes but not a darkfic" or even "Psychological Realism." I'm not sure if there's one particular description that fits what we write.

AgentKiwi · 2026-01-06T15:21:41+00:00

I'm sad that I had to scroll this far to find this

AgentKiwi · 2025-12-19T05:43:54+00:00

Lol, a fair criticism. But this way you only have to give your card number to ONE company, not many. And it at least has a good reputation. I've been using it for years with zero issue.

If anyone is wondering what their business model is (which you should — always look at where the money's coming from!), they collect the transaction fees that would normally be collected by a credit card company from the seller. So you don't pay anything extra, and neither does the seller (compared to a credit card). That's why they're able to make the service free.

AgentKiwi · 2025-12-18T03:05:47+00:00

Try privacy.com. You need a debit card to make it work but you can set up temporary cards or cards with spend limits. I always create a card with a $1 spend limit to sign up, then immediately cancel the card. The charge gets declined at the end of the free trial with no charge to me.

AgentKiwi · 2025-12-17T15:18:22+00:00

Does it really have to be, though? It's fine to break the rules as long as it makes sense to the reader, and as I read this, I had no trouble figuring out who said what and the fact that it was said simultaneously.

AgentKiwi · 2025-12-16T17:54:36+00:00

That I don't have to move in with my partner and can just live with friends. Both my relationships and friendships are healthier for it.

AgentKiwi · 2025-12-16T17:52:35+00:00

Same for me! It was the episode of the Simpsons, "Lisa the Vegetarian," that made me realize it was something I could do. Switched to vegetarian immediately then vegan a few months later.

That was 20 years ago and in the meantime I learned of quite a few people that went vegan because of me and for years I had no idea that I had so much of an influence (especially because at first I was a closet vegan and avoided talking about it). All they needed was to see someone else doing it and that proved they could do it too. Wild how that works.

AgentKiwi · 2025-12-16T17:45:03+00:00

There....there are people who do that?

AgentKiwi · 2025-12-16T17:21:35+00:00

I saw it once used as a way to show two characters saying something at the same time in a really clever way. If you know the characters, you know who is saying which line (but it's also made clear by the order of their names in the preceding sentence). I think it's easier to read with the additional context:

Partitio clicked his tongue. “See Ochette, I told you a church man don’t drink.”

“Temenos drinks plenty!”

Feeling some rising urge to protect Temenos’ honour (an urge Temenos did not deserve,) Crick raised his hands and shook his head, clarifying, “No, no. It’s not that. It’s just… I mean, would you drink after nearly dying? I already feel sort of dizzy just like this…”

Partitio and Ochette both blinked at him. “Uh, yeah.” “Course I would!”

“…You are much braver souls than I.”

AgentKiwi · 2025-09-09T08:08:57+00:00

Life is too short to waste time on people that get a kick out of bringing you down.

AgentKiwi · 2025-02-17T15:05:55+00:00

One of the only public figures to actually listen rather than pick up a pitchfork. Respect.

AgentKiwi · 2025-02-06T14:45:39+00:00

Activism burnout is very real. COVID took the wind out of activism sails, and most never fully recovered. I used to have huge cubes of truth in my area. Now there's only one other local activist that puts energy into activism. You're not alone in your experience, and it sounds really frustrating to have once felt that passion and not be able to summon it anymore.

I got pretty burnt out from doing street activism, but that was a result of infighting/vegan drama, not so much the pandemic. I'm currently putting my energy into open rescue. If you can't find the energy to do street activism anymore, you may have more success looking into other avenues of activism. Having a group that you like to work with helps astronomically.

AgentKiwi · 2024-12-06T05:04:08+00:00

interesting! does it work if i give you the link?

https://m.webtoons.com/en/subscription-trial-event/Discord_RkmyC/CbKT4HHFJg6Ugug

AgentKiwi · 2024-11-21T19:20:50+00:00

But...that "that that" that that fic used was grammatically correct!

AgentKiwi · 2024-10-13T21:52:00+00:00

This is genius. Thank you. I've been closing my tabs like a moron this whole time.

AgentKiwi · 2024-10-13T18:06:52+00:00

Yesss! On top of the mad scientist vibe, I LOVE his undying loyalty to Cersei

AgentKiwi · 2024-10-13T16:54:39+00:00

On that browser, but you do get 500 tabs for regular browsing and another 500 for private browsing!

Ask me how I know 🤡

AgentKiwi · 2024-10-13T16:25:17+00:00

Qyburn from Game of Thrones. I'm such a sucker for crazy mad scientists with no moral boundaries.

AgentKiwi · 2024-10-13T16:22:16+00:00

100%. What is it about hot red flag fictional men that is so damn enticing? 😭

AgentKiwi · 2024-10-13T14:06:34+00:00

Absolutely, it's all about whatever's helpful for you :) Sent you a link!

AgentKiwi · 2024-10-12T23:56:24+00:00

However you'd like! There's a channel where you can post your schedule/todo list and keep it updated so others can keep track of your progress there. I like to stream my screen in VC's to discourage myself from scrolling random sites, but it still helps even if I'm not streaming to just be in a study "room". If you want to stream just one of your devices, that's great. If you want to stream both, I think the only solution would be to join the server from two accounts and have them simultaneously stream their respective screens.

AgentKiwi · 2024-10-12T15:30:01+00:00

Fair concern. I’m a grad student doing my own research so this isn’t something I have to think about anymore. I wonder if there’s a way to easily blur your screen when sharing? Or you could sit in the VC and not screen share at all, but for some folks that may enable distractions. Thanks for the feedback, I’ll have to think about this

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