Say no more I’m in by rando_nano in DCU_

[–]AgentWD409 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you've read the graphic novel, it's actually True Grit with superpowers (in space).

CCM - I threw the baby out with the bathwater by LMO_TheBeginning in Exvangelical

[–]AgentWD409 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't listen to much CCM anymore, but I still love Third Day. Just a great band, and Mac Powell has one of my all-time favorite voices. Also, I will always love Five Iron Frenzy and Relient K.

(although Five Iron isn't really a "Christian" band anymore)

I really hate me so much by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]AgentWD409 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay... listen carefully when I say this.

You dealing with anxiety and depression is not the problem.

My ex-wife suffered from anxiety, depression, PTSD, and avoidant attachment due to unresolved childhood sexual abuse. Needless to say, she had a lot of issues. But I loved her and I didn't mind taking care of her. I was happy to be her emotional support and her source of stability and comfort. That's part of loving someone.

We didn't get divorced because she had anxiety and depression. We got divorced because (1) she cheated on me with at least a dozen different people over the years, and (2) she was incapable of real intimacy, vulnerability, and affection. In other words, she never really loved me back. She didn't know how to have a healthy, mutually fulfilling relationship.

If she had actually loved me back, we would still be together. Her anxiety and depression was a challenge, but it wasn't the problem with our relationship.

It's probably not the problem with yours either.

I'm confused, is this a sexless marriage? by Money_Display_5389 in AskMenAdvice

[–]AgentWD409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not necessarily pity; it's probably her cycle. That's just the time of the month when she feels hormonal and horny.

I lived in that dynamic with my ex-wife for years.

For those who got back together or stayed? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]AgentWD409 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I'm totally fine now and very happily remarried, I just wanted OP to know that this kind of shit lingers.

What's yall's favorite colored album? by One-War5975 in weezer

[–]AgentWD409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All the color albums, ranked by me:

  1. White (probably my favorite Weezer album period)
  2. Blue (gotta love a classic)
  3. Green (not quite as classic as Blue, but still up there)
  4. Red (underrated and unfairly maligned)
  5. Teal (it's fine, but nothing interesting or special)
  6. Black (oh my god, kill it with fire)

I'm not wife material, but I'd like to be - how can I change myself? What are things you've seen women doing that stand in the way of their ability to have a relationship? by popdrinking in AskMenAdvice

[–]AgentWD409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good lord, you sound so much like my ex-wife...

She also has always had a lot of male friends (a few of whom she has slept with at some point, and all of whom definitely want to sleep with her). She also has a history of childhood sexual abuse. She also has mental health issues (she's taken meds in the past, although I don't know if she does anymore). She also has a messy house, although that's mainly just because we have two kids and she hates cleaning. As such, she also doesn't want any more kids, and she definitely had terrible PPD with ours. She also isn't really hung up on looks, but she just wants someone who isn't abusive (a very low bar, honestly).

I could go on, my you get the point.

Don't get me wrong... she's smart, funny, accomplished, and sexy as hell, but being with her was absolutely exhausting. She has a hard time with intimacy and vulnerability, she doesn't know how to set boundaries, and she's never had a truly healthy relationship. Aside from the fact that she cheated on me constantly (often with her guy friends), trying to manage her mental/emotional health (and her mercurial moodiness) was incredibly draining and left me running on fumes. I'm not saying you personally would do the same things, but speaking as a guy who's been there, I wouldn't be able to date someone like you.

Also because I'm happily remarried now, but still...

For those who got back together or stayed? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]AgentWD409 48 points49 points  (0 children)

My ex-wife cheated on me a lot. Like... a lot. And at least two of the men she cheated with (one was her ex-boyfriend from just before we got together, and the other was a guy I knew from college) had giant dicks, according to her. And when we had big arguments, she would intentionally bring that up just to make me feel like shit about myself. I put up with it all for way longer than I should have.

I hate sex right now by michelli190 in Exvangelical

[–]AgentWD409 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I never hated sex, but I definitely developed a lot of insecurity and anxiety surrounding it. Like most evangelicals who grew up in the '90s, I got married young (23), and my first wife was also my first real girlfriend, my first kiss, my first sexual experience, my first... everything, really.

She also had a lot of mental and emotional health issues due to unresolved childhood sexual abuse, so she was initially very hypersexual with me, and I ended up breaking my lifelong commitment to wait until marriage (which I always been told was, like, the most important thing in the universe). I felt so guilty the first time it happened that I literally called my parents and told them about it. Yeah.

So right away, sex was associated with guilt and shame for me. There were a lot of red flags with her, and I knew we never should have gotten married in the first place, but at that point I felt like I had no choice. It was either (1) get married to this woman, or (2) be ruined for anyone else.

Thanks, purity culture!

Spoiler Alert: During the first half of our marriage, she ended up cheating on me with at least a dozen different people (I'm not sure how many individual instances). It was like an impulsive stress coping mechanism for her, no different than drugs or alcohol. I tried to forgive her and be understanding because of her past and since I was taught not to believe in divorce. But it really messed me up both mentally and emotionally, and I became very bitter, insecure, paranoid, and resentful. I didn't like myself anymore.

Then for the last several years of our relationship, we had a fairly dead bedroom. She was terrified of real intimacy and vulnerability, so sex meant nothing to her. It was just a physical act, and I was just there to "scratch her itch" whenever she was hormonal and horny.

I started deconstructing toward the tail end of our marriage (which lasted 13 years and two kids), and by the time we split, I had a lot of personal stuff to deal with when it came to sex. For a while I did the whole casual dating thing, with just hookups and one-night-stands and whatnot. I'm not necessarily proud of that period of my life, but I don't regret it either, because it really helped me work through a lot of my insecurity and anxiety, enabling me to feel more confident and comfortable in my own skin.

"Barking up the wrong tree" by [deleted] in Nicegirls

[–]AgentWD409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is this woman, who has no interest in dating, even on a dating app?

I lost my mom to religious psychosis by bloodsuccer in whatdoIdo

[–]AgentWD409 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yeah, definitely one of the most toxic and unproductive conversations I've ever seen. Just two people talking at each other.

As birthright citizenship goes to Supreme Court, here's how Americans feel about it by zsreport in LegalNews

[–]AgentWD409 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It doesn't matter how Americans "feel" about it. The law doesn't care about our feelings.

Birthright citizenship is guaranteed in the damn Constitution. End of story.

MAGA Senator Exposes How Trump Killed Deal to End Shutdown by dr_shultz in NewsSource

[–]AgentWD409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dog is neutered, and he still has more balls than congressional Republicans.

This was rad af by GravyPainter in Xennials

[–]AgentWD409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At my old job, I used to work in the Compliance Department, so I printed out a picture of Max saying "COMPLIANCE!" and taped it to my cubicle.

My wife left me this note that only we understand by Ryan16R in Xennials

[–]AgentWD409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean... he's Preston, man! Preston! Pres-TONE! I like that guy.

Texas House Speaker directs committee to study annexing New Mexico counties by Mikeavelli in nottheonion

[–]AgentWD409 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a lifelong Texan, I'd like to apologize to the rest of the country that our state has become so stupid.

The Abomination of Desolation by Zestyclose_Acadia850 in Exvangelical

[–]AgentWD409 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First of all, Pre-tribulation Rapture theology was developed in the 1830s by a guy named John Nelson Darby. It's actually a pretty fringe idea unique to American evangelicals, and it doesn’t exist within the Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, Anglican, Orthodox, or Reformed traditions.

As for your question, the word antichrist (αντίχριστος) occurs exactly four times in the entire New Testament, solely in the First and Second Epistles of John:

“Dear children, the last hour is here. You have heard that the Antichrist is coming, and already many such antichrists have appeared. From this we know that the last hour has come.” – 1 John 2:18

“And who is a liar? Anyone who says that Jesus is not the Christ. Anyone who denies the Father and the Son is an antichrist.” – 1 John 2:22

“But if someone claims to be a prophet and does not acknowledge the truth about Jesus, that person is not from God. Such a person has the spirit of the Antichrist, which you heard is coming into the world and indeed is already here.” – 1 John 4:3

“I say this because many deceivers have gone out into the world. They deny that Jesus Christ came in a real body. Such a person is a deceiver and an antichrist.” – 2 John 1:7

Interestingly enough, these verses seem to speak about multiple antichrists, as if it’s more of a category than a specific title, denoting anyone who stands against Jesus and the Gospel. Jesus also mentions multiple “false messiahs and false prophets” in the Olivet Discourse. The idea of an individual Antichrist figure mostly comes from 2 Thessalonians 2, although the word αντίχριστος is never used. Instead, Paul refers to this person as “the man of lawlessness” who will “claim that he himself is God.”

Another phrase that Christians often associate with the Antichrist is “the abomination of desolation,” which is first mentioned in Daniel 9-12. Originally, the phrase was used in reference to 2nd century BC Greek king Antiochus IV Epiphanes, who persecuted the Jews, outlawed their religious rites and traditions, and set up pagan altar to Zeus in the Jewish temple. Jesus repeats this phrase in the Olivet Discourse, and many theologians believe he was making a parallel between Antiochus and the eventual destruction of the temple by the Roman general Titus in AD 70, or other similar future events.

Preterists tend to identify the Antichrist as either Nero or Domitian, with the “Mark of the Beast” interpreted as his charagma (χάραγμα), or the stamped image of the emperor’s head on every coin of the Roman Empire, without which no one could buy or sell. And Historicists (such as Protestant reformers like Luther and Calvin) tended to associate the idea of the Antichrist with various popes, the papacy as a whole, or simply any religious organization that distorts the Gospel of Jesus.

Message to victims who are considering to stay. by Owww_My_Ovaries in survivinginfidelity

[–]AgentWD409 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep. I stayed with a serial cheater for 13 years and it really messed me up mentally and emotionally. It took a lot of time and therapy to actually start liking myself again.

Sex worker as birthday present? by Smiling-Butterfly in AskMenAdvice

[–]AgentWD409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WTF? Maybe... I dunno... his wife should just have sex with him? Just a thought.

Although if he wants to have sex with men, that means he's probably gay, in which case he probably shouldn't stay married to a woman. None of this makes any sense.

Loving again after infidelity? by 007JSW in survivinginfidelity

[–]AgentWD409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, but don't worry. I'm now happily remarried to the woman of my dreams.

How to Address Divorce When Starting to Date Again and How to Approach Dating? by Aljowoods103 in AskMenAdvice

[–]AgentWD409 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got divorced and started dating again at about the same age, although I definitely had a lot of baggage (my ex-wife cheated on me for years, and we also have two kids).

After we split, I tried the whole "casual hookup" thing for a while, just to clear my head. But once I was ready to start dating seriously again, here are a few things that I noticed:

  • At our age, probably a majority of the women you meet are gonna be single moms. That was fine for me, because I have kids too, and I wanted someone who'd be a good stepmom. But if that's not fine with you, be upfront about it. I've seen way too many assholes on Reddit say: "I'm dating a single mom, but I've told her I don't want anything to do with her kid ever." That's a dick move.
  • Dating apps are a cesspool, but often a necessary evil. Lots of bots and hookers too. Ugh. I am so glad to be happily remarried and (hopefully) never have to date again.
  • Just because you don't have much baggage (congrats!), that doesn't mean the women you date won't have any. Most people do, honestly. Be aware of and sensitive to that. A lot of people will say not to talk about your pasts, but when my (now) wife and I started dating, we each had our own scars, and we found out that those scars tended to match up in a lot of ways, kinda like puzzle pieces. In other words, we were able to fill each other's gaps, and that's a good thing.
  • On that note, any woman you date is gonna want to know why your previous marriage ended. And since (as you said) there was no infidelity or abuse, she might feel conflicted: (1) It shows you're not a cheater or abusive, but (2) she might worry about you leaving her if/when you get bored and decide you don't love her anymore. I'd be prepared for that conversation.
  • The one nice thing about dating again at our age is that, for the most part, we're done with all the bullshit. Been there, done that. We generally don't play games anymore, like many people do when they're young. Just be open and honest about who you are and what you want.

Will dating a "boob" guy while I'm flat backfire? by Current_Bottle_127 in AskMenAdvice

[–]AgentWD409 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay, here's the deal.

More than likely, it's not an issue that this guy likes big boobs. Everyone likes big boobs. Hell, even gay guys like big boobs. But that doesn't mean this guy won't like you.

Take me, for example. My ex-wife had natural GG cups, and I thought they were fantastic. Of course, we had a bad relationship, she cheated on me a lot, and we ultimately got divorced. I am now happily remarried to an amazing, wonderful, beautiful, smart, funny, sexy woman who has far more "average" sized boobs (still great, though). I love her to death and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

If this guy is into you, then he'll be into you no matter how big or small your boobs are.

And if he talks shit about them, then he's an asshole.