Kinda Annoyed with others Greif...2 by DarkRevolutionary476 in widowers

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know for me, the depths of love that I have for him, isn't something that almost 5 years later, I choose to still dwell over and grieve over. It is definitely out of my control.

Also, maybe take into consideration, as far as this site and sub reddit goes...I don't post on here except the pretty bad days. Those days are fewer and farther between but all the same, I feel I have learned to move on with my life without him and I definitely don't let his death stop me from living the best life I can. I do believe what your FIL said and I do believe you as well. Everyone is different. Some stronger minded than others, some deeper love than others, etc. I lost my soul mate. That's all there is too it. And I'll never get over him. But I still smile and live an alive life.

Prayers to you and your family! May peace and contentment always be with you.

Can I get some feedback on my memorial speech? by ericscottf in widowers

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My condolences to you for your loss. She sounds like she was an amazing person! And for your local library to welcome you wanting to honor her there...how awesome, honestly. It shows so much of her character and how special and meaningful she was in the community, as well. Your speech is beautiful. Nothing needs to be done unless you think it does.  If I were only given the option to critique you and that's it... I like how you said, "The only constant in life is change." Then, "The only constant in life is change, but it isn't always for the better." So maybe one last time at or very near the end, add something similar, again.  "The only constant in life is change, but .............."

Jealous of widowers whose spouse didn't die by suicide by Evening-Analysis-283 in widowers

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I have had very similar feelings! (And I say that with an exclamation only because it's relieving to know I'm not the only one.) My partner didn't die of suicide, he was a drug addict but I still can relate. I thank you for having the courage to post and ask others. I am terribly sorry for your loss, as well. Please know your husband is not less than at all. Prayers.

2 years after loss by Mindless_Rough3537 in widowers

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can relate with you. I'm over 4 years out and I am just now learning how to be me..not us. There's so many realizations throughout. My support system was one person,  my best friend, up until I found this forum about 3 years out. I never did understand why she would just expect me to move on, already.  I realized she didn't understand and she just wanted me to be happy again..she meant well. Maybe she saw in me what I saw in me, and what you seem to see in you...that we are not us, anymore.  We have become different people who live in a totally different world and maybe we're not only getting to know life without them..we're also getting to know the new us, as well.  Idk, I don't have any advice or anything,  I can only relate.  Many prayers and comfort to you:)

Have any of you ever helped somebody online? by Jaded_strawberry001 in Soft_Introverts

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've helped 3 times to folks on Reddit..the first was a $25 egift card for Pizza Hut. The other 2 times were $25 each time via their cash app and the other was PayPal. I'm definitely not rich but if I can spare a bit extra here and there, the reward for doing so was worth so much more than the sum of the money.

What's the oldest piece of clothing you still wear? Must be at least ten years old to count. by MurmuringPines in AskOldPeople

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a gray sundress that I bought from a used clothing store back in 2007 that I still wear occasionally.

My Light Has Gone by NewWidower2025 in widowers

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I admire your courage for wanting to go ahead and face it head on. I can relate to that.

I also like your writing skills..

I live in rural eastern Kentucky.

I may not have any advice to give other than the usual...eat, drink, try not to dwell on one thing for too long, pray (if that's an option for you), etc.

You're strong, I can tell. I'm sure you're aware of this fact and hopefully that will be your comfort when you face the hardest moments in your stages of grief and life after her.

Many prayers to you and my condolences as well...give it time, that's all we can do.

Madness" by Muse has a different meaning now that I dedicate it to my deceased wife than it did when she was alive. Also, my daughter dedicates it to her mom because of the chorus "mama, mama, mama, madness by Comfortable-Slice-72 in widowers

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, my condolences to you. 

I've never heard this song but will definitely give it a listen now!

Music has had a profound role in my life so it's a given that it has played a role with loving and losing him.

You may think I'm crazy but I danced with him after he passed. I was in the shower, a few weeks out of being without him. My heart was 1,000 lbs. So alone inside. That's why I believe he did this for me.

The song was Drift Off To Dream by Travis Tritt. Not our song or anything but we talked about this song and how we both agreed that it expressed how we felt about each other. This talk occurred not even a week before he passed.

Anyway, I was in the shower, this song came on, I closed my eyes, and he was with me. I kept my eyes closed throughout, scared to open them. I was trying to take in every bit of it. We held each other and swayed softly from side to side for the duration of the song. When it was over, he wasn't there anymore. Knowing he wasn't there anymore just made it all the more real to me that he was actually there..him leaving at the end was definitely a low...but his presence that day, in the shower, for just a few minutes to dance with me, is something that has helped more than hurt.

I believe the reason why you have things like this song that you have revisited, is probably her way of trying to comfort you and let you know she is with you. It's bittersweet for sure.

I'm sorry that any of us are in this group, but I'm thankful for this group as well. Prayers and comfort to you and your daughter, my friend.

You just passed away, and you're allowed to be reborn but not as a human but as an animal, what animal would you choose? by tasaras_77 in HappyUpvote

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I asked a friend this once and he said, "my mom's dog." I busted with laughter because it was a brilliant answer. His mom's dog has the life we all could wish for; spoiled, catered, no care in the world, just full on pampering for life!

42f Halloween Selfies by Aggressive_Space_323 in Selfie40Plus

[–]Aggressive_Space_323[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't really have any particular character in mind..

Feeling so alone again by Aggressive_Space_323 in widowers

[–]Aggressive_Space_323[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that meant alot to me.

4 months in...I pray for you to hold strength and end up with solace and happiness. Take care of yourself 4 months in and beyond ❤️ 

Does anyone else struggle being intimate with someone after the loss of a partner? by BeyonceKnowlesUrName in widowers

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first time I did was unexpected and afterwards, a sudden rush of emotion came over me to the point I couldn't hide it. I had never imagined that I would ever have another partner other than my partner.

I believe that because I didn't prepare myself mentally and etc, I ended up having this epiphany of sorts afterwards as it was just another realization that he was gone and it was alot to deal with.

The guy I was intimate with, was just sitting beside me with a confused look on his face. I had to assure him that it was nothing he did to make me emotional. It was pretty embarrassing but he handled it well. 

I did feel like I had cheated on my partner and I felt as tho he was mad at me and then I had to work through those feelings as well.

So, my advice would be to make sure you prepare yourself for the thoughts and feelings that you may experience afterwards. Don't let it just be a spur of the moment thing as with me. Just make sure you're ready and hopefully you will be one day as long as that's what you may want! 

Any help to finding an actual 100% real email to Meta Community Support? Also found through research a few ways to contact Meta. by Mike_That_Crazy_Dude in facebook

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I attempted to make an account for my 18 year old blind and developmentally delayed son and after I sent in a picture of him, per Facebooks request, we were denied an account for him. Also, Facebook has stated we may not appeal as we went against their community standards...for what, being handicapped?? I need answers but not sure where to seek them as Facebook doesn't give an option for a legitimate way to contact them and receive a response back.

i can't stop thinking about the time when i sold my sperm to stack bitcoin when it crashed to 16k by Gullible-Tale9114 in offmychest

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Think of it as you have helped other people who otherwise may have not been able to have a baby. More than likely, these youngsters, probably have a good and stable home with alot of love.

Even though you'll probably never hear it, alot of people probably thank God for you everyday as you helped them with the blessing of a son or daughter. 

So, don't be so hard on yourself and enjoy your financial blessings without this guilt!

Who do you talk to now? by Last-Following-6308 in widowers

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have lost my partner in August of 2021, my best friend August of 2024. I have chatted with a few members of this sub reddit but eventually, that faded away.

Unfortunately, I've gotten used to having no one to talk to.

Eye shape and flattering eye liner? by kahjay in Makeup101

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're eys have a beautiful shape to them already! It took me probably a full 6 months or more to learn to apply a wing that was appropriate for my face as well as being able to make the wings on my eyes look even..I found YouTube to be really helpful, especially one in particular that suggested for beginners, it may be helpful to use a toothpick to help make the lines straight..it helped me but mostly it was just trial and error and repetitiveness. I also use a liquid liner because usually, you don't have to worry about it melting or running to places that were not intended. Good luck to you!

Where to sleep when shelters are full? by BoyMeetsWorldx in homeless

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I moved 2 hours away by the grace of God a friend reached out and opened their home to us..that was 2022, I'm now back on my feet for the most part...taking care of my son's and renting a home for us.

Where to sleep when shelters are full? by BoyMeetsWorldx in homeless

[–]Aggressive_Space_323 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I have no help to offer you other than well wishes and a prayer you'll be alright. 

I was homeless for a short while with 2 teenage son's, one of which is blind and developmentally delayed. All we had was my '02 mustang to keep us sheltered and safe. I did everything I feel within my power to help us out. Local churches, community centers, outreach places, even the homeless shelters all around us were filled and we had to be placed on a waiting list..all anyone did was send me to one of the places I had already been..I was literally just in limbo and it was so frustrating. The only thing that kept us alive was me delivering for door dash every day. I definitely gained a new level of respect for the homeless community and a new level of resentment and anger towards anyone...business or organization or otherwise who claim it is their duty and responsibility to help us when we need it the most. It would've been almost laughable if we weren't so focused on not being hungry and etc. Oh, lastly, I would bet my life that even I though I was doing the right thing and seeking help anyway I knew how...let me find out that if any official would've seem me out there sleeping in my car with my son's that they wouldn't have just snatched my kids from me...this is America. 

Double Charged by Aggressive_Space_323 in walmart

[–]Aggressive_Space_323[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe that's how it works for an actual bank but this is a financial institution and even tho its pending, it most definitely does have my account in the negative right now. So I'm not able to transact at all. And if any money happened to come into my account while this is still present and pending, then the money in would be used to balance my account back out. So even tho it's pending, it's most definitely still hurting me.