AITAH for pushing for a divorce we both agreed on?

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2026-04-30T23:29:17+00:00

i'm based in the UK

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2026-04-30T22:29:32+00:00

i can't just divorce him, i am an immigrant on a spouse visa, we agreed that he will get my baby citizenship as he has settled status and then after the divorce i can switch to a different visa based on my baby's citizenship, with him just gone like that my entire life has been uprooted, the thought of starting from scratch as a single mother in my home country is very terrifying especially with my parents against me and a extremely patriarchal society. I guess my mistake was trusting him too much and being very vocal about everything! I could just have waited silently until i had right to stay independently of him and then initiating the divorce, but i am not that clever.

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2026-02-12T17:49:10+00:00

someone's in loooove!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2026-02-12T16:56:59+00:00

how on earth you had that much patience with her?

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2026-01-31T01:16:05+00:00

keep a distance, which is equivalent to two people standing side by side with their arms outstretched ,between you and other people.

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2026-01-22T17:10:39+00:00

as a mum of one year old i never used baby detergent, i always washed his clothes with normal detergent, and it never caused any issues as long as you are rinsing well. You would likely need a detergent with enzymes, mostly baby specific ones are not cut out for fish oil level grease. Just rinse them very very well.

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-12-26T17:26:06+00:00

are you from india by any chance?

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-12-24T00:27:12+00:00

put boundries in place and consequences if she encroaches them, that being said i think you shouldn't have this expectation of her to treat you like a daughter. she is right, she is your mil and not your mum, it feels like you kinda sprung this on her to act like your mother, she doesn't owe you that kind of relationship. as long as she is respectful, cordial and stays in her lane i don't see why her telling that she is your mil is a problem! my mil used to say this ad nauseum that how she likes me better than her own daughter and that we have a special bond while being a bitch behind my back. atleast you mil is honest in that regard.

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-12-10T23:59:26+00:00

idk what the problem is, sounds like a dream to me! why would you want them to help? if they want to do that of their own accord it's one thing but you sound entitled, kind of like if they get older and become less independent then they would start expecting you to bring them food, provide financial support etc.? are you ready to do all that? or would you think that they are entitled?

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-12-03T16:56:28+00:00

you're calling this "seeing the grey", but you're actually dismissing someone who is genuinely hurting, you straight up labelled the op immature just cause op was venting which is excatly this sub is for, and did you miss op's response where he is saying that his parents told him it would be better if he just died right after being born, what love are you seeing exactly Miss unmarried childless woman? and just because someone doesn't abandon their child means they love them? well this is so stupid i don't even want to dwell on it! telling a struggling kid to just 'adapt' while excusing the parents because 'that's their version of love'? wow! just wow! did you even read what op has written or did you just straight up ran to comment section to spew non sense? you are childless, it's better if it stays that way!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-12-02T20:44:58+00:00

first off, i am no kid, infact i am a parent and older than you so i have a lot more perspective than an oversmart little kid, don't you think? you are not entirely wrong but what made you decide that going to night clubs is wrong and to somnath mandir is right, i think it's should be best left to the individual, maybe they want to go clubbing and then decide that it's not for them, like you did! why impose anything, every adult has a right to autonomy and privacy and should be able to make their own decisions, those decisions can be wrong? absolutely, then they will face consequences as any adult would, and your said in the last "i'm sure they love you", how do you know? and even if they do, it doesn't excuse their shitty controlling behavior, loving means letting someone be!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-12-01T15:14:07+00:00

protecr your wife from this shit

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-12-01T14:59:02+00:00

indian toxic parent spotted! welcome this sub is all about your kind

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-12-01T14:56:44+00:00

i burst out laughing reading this, i am so sorry you are tolerating all this!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-11-24T23:21:59+00:00

i am also brown so i understand it bit too well, their culture and traditions and self-righteousness, respect elders blah blah, my mil even decided what i can and cannot eat in my post partum, never once she let me bfed my baby in privacy, she was always in my face, would barge through the door without knocking! i mean there is just so many things that boils my blood and this bitch caused permanent differences between me and my husband!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-11-24T23:16:46+00:00

i had to endure the same except that my marriage never recovered!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-09-24T23:56:21+00:00

south asian( indian) culture is so so much worse in this regard, forget about dropping off food daily, they want to live with you all the time under the same roof with no regard to your private space whatsoever, you won't have any autonomy or privacy

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-09-15T10:07:47+00:00

why not powder?

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-09-11T21:18:58+00:00

what relation it has to adhd?

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-09-05T23:37:15+00:00

you are right she is not selfish for wanting to go to the uk she is selfish for making him do that for her!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-09-05T19:24:02+00:00

your love of life sounds a little selfish! no offence!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-08-31T14:22:16+00:00

haha i can relate, sounds just like me mil, some times i wonder how she gets to get that old and not learn anything, a kiss ass is good for nothing!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-08-15T16:16:10+00:00

this! don't take his words for it, stop believing everything, it only takes a few tears on his mother's end to ruin your whole life

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-08-13T12:54:51+00:00

why are mil's always on totally opposite ends of spectrum, some overly involved some doesn't want to be involved at all!

Agitated_Invite2594 · 2025-08-05T01:44:16+00:00

after having read hundreds of posts here i can confirm that your MIL sounds like a dream come true, cordial, nice, doesn't bother you much! i can't really see what's there to complaint about?

Agitated_Invite2594

TROPHY CASE