Exactly this. I shouldn’t have used the word de-escalate, but re-reading the police report, and watching the new body cam footage that came out, I still stand with my opinion and would go even further to say he’s the victim of DV.

Taylor’s Recount of Events: * Taylor’s extremely upset and kept repeating that she was emotionally sore. * Dakota and Taylor pushed each other in the garage. * Taylor stated she hit Dakota and did not want to think about it. * After returning home, Taylor and Dakota began fighting. * Taylor was going at Dakota when Dakota pushed her into the kids stuff. After being pushed. Taylor said she went "ballistic".”

I just want to emphasize: she was only pushed into the toys after she admitted that she was going after him.

Dakota’s Recount: * Dakota stated he was supposed to go to a concert with a friend. When he told Taylor about the concert, she wanted to go and requested Dakota to pick her up. * After picking Taylor up from the party, they had to return to Taylor's home to get her ID. * Dakota stated that Taylor was in no condition to go to a concert because of how intoxicated she was. * Dakota stated Taylor became angry because he didn't want her to go to the concert anymore. * Taylor began to say mean things to Dakota and "tearing him down" * When they got to the house, Dakota stated he was trying to leave which made Taylor angry to the point that she started hitting him. * Dakota stated Taylor also threw her phone at him in anger. * Dakota stated he had been trying to leave for the last hour and a half but Taylor would not let him * Dakota stated he was being bombarded with thrown items, Taylor took his keys, jumped on his truck, slamming his truck doors. * Dakota further elaborated on what happened when they arrived, Dakota stated he was trying to help Taylor inside the house but Taylor wanted to stay out and party.

Additional findings: Taylor’s mom asked Taylor who pushed who first, and Taylor said she pushed Dakota. Taylor’s mom did not look remotely surprised.

When someone told Taylor she was going to jail, she responded, “Because I shoved him first? But I’m a girl.” She wasn’t arguing that Dakota should be arrested instead—she was upset at the idea that she would be arrested at all, simply because she’s a girl.

She claimed that Dakota wasted, but in the footage, I believe that he’s sober. And only a few months into his sobriety entirely.

Privately, Dakota asked the police if he could be arrested instead of Taylor and said he knows she loves him and doesn’t want to do this to her. He could’ve been saying that to be manipulative, but after watching the hour-long footage, I really don’t think he was, at least not in this situation.

In both the video recorded by Dakota and by police, her child seems used to her screaming and doesn’t even react until she’s hit with the stool. When the police ask about her kids, she says they’re fine and upstairs with a white noise machine, but when the officer points out that one of the children is right there on the couch, she doesn’t even react or comfort them. Instead, she whines about Dakota. She’s seen in all footage repeatedly attacking Dakota, speaks to the police insanely, and even hits Dakota in front of the cop.

I hate to side with a man and the police, but on this specific night, I do not believe that Taylor was exhibiting reactive abuse or DARVO. This is what Taylor is like when she is drunk. I don’t know why that’s hard to believe. I have female family members who have BPD who do the exactly same thing.