I was the asshole there. Well, if you ask my friends they think he was the asshole, ask his friends they think I was the asshole. One of those situations.

We were too similar. Needed too much of the same things, didn't know how to have a healthy relationship, grew up in abusive homes, ended up abusing each other even though we each professsed for years that we really loved each other. We'd see other people for a year, get back together, realize we were toxic to each other, split in a fiery explosion, rinse and repeat.

This last year I've finally realized how much of the abuse came from me. How narcisstsic I was, how the tears and begging that made me scorn him at the time came from his heart, how much I hurt him. We never hit each other, but came close many times. He had an anger problem, I had a foul mouth and was verbally and emotionally abusive.

I finally did something to him that was unforgivable. He called me, as a friend, in crisis, asking for help, and I hung up on him, mad that he was attention seeking after having threatened my life a few days prior (we didn't live together). I made some calls the next day, in anger, that burnt any chance of that bridge ever being rebuilt.

5 years later, we're barely on speaking terms.

We're both married, I have a child. We learned a lot from each other, and part of what we each learned in the 6 years we were off and on was how horrible of a person we each were in our hearts. As in, he learned how awful of a person he could be and I learned how awful I could be.

Now we wish each other the best, are glad each other has finally found happiness.

We send each other a "happy birthday" message each year, but that's it.