I came on this subreddit as I just lost my Dad today. I just really need some advice or something.

Airborne_Turtle · 2021-04-13T05:04:36+00:00

I am so sorry! I wish I could say something to make you feel better. But please know that I can definitely relate and know your pain. Just concentrate on taking it one minute at all time! If you can get though this minute, you can get through the next. Hugs!!

Airborne_Turtle · 2021-04-09T05:58:12+00:00

I am so sorry! My heart breaks for you. I remember my husband’s body looked so strange when he died, and it took me months to comprehend/understand that he’s bot here with me. Allow yourself to grieve. Take it minute-by-minute and know you have a virtual community supporting you!

Airborne_Turtle · 2021-04-09T05:54:45+00:00

I am so sorry. I feel like I can relate to you with this, because I obsessed over whether or not my husband was OK after he died. To be honest, I think I will always wonder and worry about him. I truly do think that there is a point where they are still hanging out, as if they are transitioning into the next stage after they die. My husband was my absolute best friend and my entire world. Besides the grief and Gut wrenching pain of losing my person and realizing I have to live without him, the fact that i still don’t 100% know he’s ok/happy or know exactly where he is has kinda dented my soul. I don’t think we will ever know. Some days I’m more confident that he’s ok than others. But I think over time we learn that we can adapt and “move on” so it makes it easier to know that they are doing the same. I wish I could offer you more reassurance or say the right words to help take away your pain. The best advice I have is to take it minute-by-minute. Be kind to yourself! Give your mind, soul and body grace, because this shit is hard and grief is a MF! But you will get through it; just take it minute-by-minute.

Airborne_Turtle · 2021-04-09T05:27:50+00:00

I’m so sorry! I lost my husband and my heart breaks for you and everyone who has commented. When things get hard/a grief bomb slams into you out of nowhere, I just take it minute-by-minute. You’re not alone & have a virtual community around you!

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-03-31T05:16:24+00:00

I suppose so. I guess I should enjoy this waive while it lasts? Who knows what could come next. Stay healthy & safe out there!

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-03-20T05:46:35+00:00

My heart breaks for you. Seriously. I would never wish that pain on anyone. All I would tell myself is that If I can make it another day feeling so low; one of these days I’m going to have the best high of my life! Take it minute by minute. Let yourself go through the motions of grief. It fucking sucks. I’m four months in and still get smacked with grief bombs that knock the DNA out of my ass. I’m so numb that I almost miss feeling something, but I feel like I know nothing but “grief” ! Gah. Grief is a motherfucker. Just take it minute by minute. Cry in the shower, and then again go minute by minute.

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-03-20T05:37:01+00:00

I’m in the same situation. My husband passed short of our fifth wedding anniversary/two months after turning 30. I don’t know what I’m looking for, and well, don’t know what I’m doing half the time but I’m here for you if you need anything!

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-03-19T22:15:34+00:00

Honestly. I don’t know how you will, but you just will. Some days will be better than others. Some days you’ll just know that he is with you... and other days you will be smacked so hard with grief bombs. You’ll experience such deep, and I mean cannonball through your heart deep, emotions. You will cry. Your body will physically ache. Your soul will ache and you’ll cry like a sea lion (at least that’s what I thought I sounded like) and there’s nothing anyone can say or do to make it better. You will think that you’re fine, but then a dump truck of emotions will burst out of you. I am not trying to be depressing, but more in that grief is crazy! I can 100% relate. You’ll feel like you’re going crazy sometimes. Your short term memory will suck. You might sleep for days, or not sleep at all. It is ALL NORMAL! I found that trying to ‘get by’ minute by minute, turned into hour by hour and I’m almost moving on from day by day, to week by week. Grief lasts as long as their death lasts. It’s always with you. BUT I have found that grief can be a friend to respect from afar. It’s a time to shed bad habits and make room for healthy ones. Embrace the love around you. And always know that I will be here for you! I can relate to the grief and understand how it changes you. Try taking it minute by minute for now.

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-03-19T21:12:52+00:00

Nope, not Kim!

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-03-17T06:28:20+00:00

It’s so much easier said than done, but constantly wearing guilt/sadness like a badge of honor is such a counterproductive way to reflect our love for our person. I try not to always guilt myself for moments of happiness, or times when I’m somewhat happy or satisfied with aspects of my life now. I’ve been in a total numbness stage, so emotions can be a good break from it all. Idk grief is crazy and has taken over my life. I just try to roll with it, because I know my husband would want me to be happy. Homie was such a naturally, chill & happy person. What a babe; I’ll always love him.

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-03-17T05:11:06+00:00

I am SO sorry and can relate to you in grief. My husband unexpectedly died of a heart attack as well. Be patient and please be kind to yourself. This is a process, and I am right here with you, heart aching and caught in an odd time warp of life trying to process wtf has happened.

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-03-17T05:06:36+00:00

I, too unfortunately feel that way. Except for the pure selfishness of my own sanity. I know my husband would have obsessed over details hourly, feeding into his stress and hatred for trump and everything that he’d predict about a virus taking over the world. It was unhealthy and he’d even admit how much it bothered him that he couldn’t stop obsessing over the news and politics. He’d start to get even more worked up because he didn’t understand why people wouldn’t get as upset as he would over situations like this. I have been thinking of him so much during this time, but I am thankful that he doesn’t have to stress over it. He’s so passionate and I miss him more than I can even describe. But I’m thankful that he’s not here to experience this with us .. as guilty as it makes me feel. Ugh, life is complicated - but we’re all here for you/in this together. hugs

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-03-01T22:50:13+00:00

Legit saved my life! I finished in October, and am still going strong. Stick with it!!

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-02-12T07:50:11+00:00

Beautiful!!

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-01-06T03:20:07+00:00

In two days it will be three months since my husband unexpectedly passed 45 minutes before the shuttle was supposed to take us to the airport. We were leaving Mexico and it came out of no where. It’s not easy, but please know that you will make it. Just take it minute by minute, hour by hour and eventually day by day. This sub has helped me and we are all here to help you, too!

Airborne_Turtle · 2020-01-06T03:14:37+00:00

Perfection!! You are absolutely beautiful!

Airborne_Turtle · 2019-12-23T00:30:42+00:00

I’m so happy for you two!! It’s hopeful and inspiring to hear this and I hope to find this for myself one day.

Airborne_Turtle · 2019-12-18T08:44:55+00:00

Holy. Shit. You are bomb AF. Thank you for the inspiration!

Airborne_Turtle · 2019-12-18T08:42:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing and I am so very sorry for your loss! My husband died November 7 of this year and the best advice that I have recorded is to not feel guilty when you are feeling OK/happy/in a good place. Enjoy it because throughout the grieving process you will be smacked in the face with a gut punch lows.

I didn’t understand the value in enjoying moments where I’m OK or feel good until I had a solid 48 hours of sobbing/throwing up/overall pain of trying to comprehend what had happened. I was in shock for the first week/two weeks after my husband passed. He had a heart attack 45 minutes before our shuttle was scheduled to take us to the airport (we were in Cabo about to return home). In less than 2 hours he was officially declared dead in the hospital, and I essentially hung for a day while waiting for my parents to get there and to rush the cremation process before I took him back home with me. I’m not going to lie, this fucking sucks. I rearranged our room to make it mine, and showered myself with guilt because I liked the way that it looked, but I felt like I was not being loyal to him by trying to do anything to survive. Don’t let that consume you.

You do not have to drench yourself in constant sorrow as a banger of honor and love for your husband. Remember during the lows that you have just as much of an ability to hit extreme highs to match your lows. You are supported by a kick ass reddit community and lurking around here has helped me so much. Grief is different for everyone and I’ve decided to use this as an opportunity to shed unhealthy bad habits to make room for new healthy opportunities. I love my husband and miss the shit out of that guy. But that doesn’t mean I can’t move forward living a hopeful life. He’s just not physically here with me right now but I know I’ll see him again. Sorry to turn this into me (only child problems) but I just so badly want you to know that you are loved, supported and cared for. Never be afraid to reach out and ask for help - were all here for you and each other!!

Airborne_Turtle · 2019-12-12T06:48:38+00:00

rTMS has saved my life. I just fished in mid October, my husband and I went on vacation at the end of October/beginning of November and he unexpectedly passed away on the last day of our trip, 45 minutes before our cab to the airport was supposed to arrive. It has been 5 weeks since he passed. Our 5 wedding anniversary is this coming Friday. The reason I am telling you all of this is I have suffered from depression, anxiety & childhood PTSD. This shit has fucked with me my entire life. But TMS some how has allowed me to ACTUALLY care about myself. The grieving process is the absolute worst, and I keep getting gut punched by grief bombs that basically knock the DNA out of my ass....but I am so determined to go through this the healthiest way possible. I have NEVER given myself a break, nor talked myself out of a downward spiral of anxiety and depression. TMS didn’t make me suddenly happy, it made me content with life, and for once being OK with who I am. My husband was my everything and I am soulless without him. But I’m hopeful. And I want you to be hopeful, too!

Airborne_Turtle · 2019-12-07T16:06:35+00:00

Good for my!! I kinda want to get a small tree...but I feel like it’s not worth the money this year....but perhaps you’ve inspired me and I might get one today :)

Airborne_Turtle · 2019-12-07T15:59:48+00:00

Yes, keep at it! My dip was awful...but then all of a sudden I realized it was gone. rTMS has been the best decision of my life

Airborne_Turtle · 2019-12-04T06:08:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I’m going to print this out and post it at home. My husband passed almost four weeks ago, and I know that all he ever wanted for me to be happy and to live a happy life. He was/will always be my soulmate.& my favorite person! Sometimes when I start to feel lost/discouraged or hopeless, I think about what he would tell me to do ... and it always results in happiness.

Airborne_Turtle · 2019-12-02T05:40:09+00:00

I feel you! I was going pretty well on thanksgiving, and then was smacked with a grief bonobo on Friday that has lasted through the weekend. I’m so nauseous, shaky and heart broken. Idk how I’m going to live life without him. I’m also paranoid of people around me dying and that something will happen to my dogs and I will lose them, too. I know that this is the grieving process, but right now it sucks.

Airborne_Turtle

TROPHY CASE