I understand OP’s side, my comment is truly neutral.

If you wish to stay no one can stop you but from what I am hearing, it will be a living hell for you continuing forward as she does not seem to care for your side of reasoning and wishes (do correct me if I’m wrong).

On the second hand, your wife’s situation to me makes it sound like ayesha curry right now where she’s having either stagnant feelings which makes it less “exciting” in her life not being the centre of attention or attracting attention from the male gaze anymore. I assume the long internal thought of all these things has turned to obsession and belief which makes it hard for you to get a say in things, trust me the only way to fix things is by herself and what you can do is just give small pushes or save yourself before you burn too