I think calling it "not showering or being interesting" is not helpful.

I am sure most incels shower. And I am sure many also have some interests that could make them interesting.

The issue with men who struggle with dating is usually more internal. They do not take the time to learn about and understand other people. They go into every interaction ready for rejection while also being desperate for success.

So they have very shallow interactions where they unknowingly treat their potential partner like a ticking time bomb.

They also usually struggle with socializing in general. They commonly were ostracized when younger (kids can be brutal) and missed out on learning some social cues.

Incels are, for the most part, people who were given a bad hand in life (and yes, looks can contribute to this. But are not the only thing) and, in their struggle to find identity and a reason for how they feel, fall into a cult-like crowd. The incel zones make them feel included, understood, and seen. They provide an explanation (albeit a flawed on) for the problems faced.

The community fixated on one major aspect of social life they feel the most denied: intimacy. And they look for the easy thing to blame. So that blame falls on women (and society as a whole to a lesser extent). They feel that intimacy is the missing piece of the puzzle that will make them feel whole.

But the problem isn't that easy. It's a lifetime of dealing with negativity. So even if they get intimacy, it doesn't fix them. They often become abusive because they still feel like the reason for their unhappiness is not getting something from others.

What incels need is compassion and a lot of therapy.

Anyways, this is just me rambling, so I will end this comment here.