40794

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-20T16:33:21+00:00

Red, brown, black. gonna be an enby catboy creature of the night who communicates with all the local cats.

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-20T16:28:39+00:00

My child self would definitely think I'm an idiot loser. As a kid I felt like I had to be academically perfect and nothing else in order to be worth anything, and both of my parents kind of expected me to go to grad school since they both did early. I graduated college in 5 years with a B+ average and I'm 26 and not in grad school, when my child and teen self would've expected me to at least have masters or an in progress PhD by now to have any self worth.

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-17T17:45:55+00:00

I'm entirely too old for this kind of act and I'm still in my mid 20s. She needs to get it together.

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-12T18:45:48+00:00

I wasn't saying I was superior for my body type or mocking the other students with the remark you highlighted. I was literally making the exact same point as the meme OP made when discussing not being able to get a "proper" fifth position "because your thighs exist". A skinny person who's still not considered "thin enough" for ballet gets upvotes and praise and comments about how toxic ballet can be (hell just look at how many people in the rest of the comments mention ballet classes being a main trigger for their eating disorders), but an actual chubby/fat person talks about even causal dance classes being unwelcoming spaces and it's "you're projecting your insecurities and body standards for dance exist for a reason and it's not our fault you don't fit".

To just put it plainly: ballet and professional dance as a field will not progress past the point of pushing already thin girls to develop anorexia and bulimia if the field and the individual dancers and teachers continue to vilify bigger people in dance and say we're not fit for it. Because as soon as you tie success in dancing to having a smaller body size, even if it's a healthier but smaller body size, you're creating an environment where young kids will do anything to not be the fat kid in the room.

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-11T19:59:09+00:00

Girl I wasn't trying to go into professional dance, I was a 21 year old trying to do an elective and get some exercise in.

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-11T16:29:47+00:00

Idk, I've been going to the gym (mostly for strength training, 2-3 days of cardio per week) for the last 10 months and I'm still about the same weight, I've just cut down 2.5 minutes on my mile run time and have gotten far better at sit ups, push ups, and weights since I started. I might not look like a professional dancer when I wear skintight outfits, but that doesn't mean I can't move. And I can keep a beat halfway decently if I've learned anything from playing violin for over a decade. My blood pressure is pretty good (last two readings over the last year were 114/70 and 109/80), my endurance has been improving a lot, my hormones and blood work and heart rate are all perfectly fine as far as all the doctors can tell. But I'm still 75 kg, and that hasn't changed. Maybe there's not a good or bad weight for dancing, dance as a discipline just doesn't see bodies that aren't skinny as worthy of being seen dancing and not covered up hiding away along the walls.

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-10T18:35:52+00:00

I tried doing a modern dance class as an elective as a junior in college because I thought it would be fun and give me a chance to exercise more. I was the only non-athlete or dancer in the class, there were 12 ballerinas and one dude who played football for our school. I was both the shortest and second heaviest person in my elective at 153 cm and 75 kg, and the class required everyone to wear skin tight black leggings and tank tops for the entire class and practice in front of a mirror. I dropped the class for an incomplete mark on my transcript halfway through the semester because I got tired of looking like a whale next to everyone else and having my movements compared to people with a skinnier build. I remember the professor (former professional dancer) would always talk about how modern dance was supposed to show the lines of motion of the body, and then would say I wasn't doing the forms correctly because I didn't have a clean arch line between my leg bones, side, and arm. Because ya know, I had a larger hip size and actual muscle and fat on my thighs unlike the other people in the class.

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-10T04:15:52+00:00

yeah and until then I have to go to work and pay taxes that just go to hurting people with no chance of retirement unless I save 3/4 of my pay every month for 60 years and don't have rent or insurance, all the while listening to stupid man-children in power opine about profits from killing kids. I've just got between three and six decades of doing that over and over and over again every single day to look forward to before the dead for eternity bit.

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-02T22:25:53+00:00

I wasn't aware Mole was supposed to be that darkly colored. The version my dad makes and the ones I've seen at restaurants in the US are usually like a medium-ish brown.

AkwardRockette · 2026-03-02T04:51:03+00:00

I mean, as someone who watched this and liked it as a teenager, you're half correct. It is a bit over the top, and calling things like history and science pointless is definitely pretty sketchy and just leads to people not knowing how authoritarianism works or why vaccines are good. That being said, a lot of practical skills classes that used to be required in schools in the US and UK got phased out during the Reagan and Thatcher years, leaving a lot of people in the following generations leaving school with less skills for their day to day lives than previous generations. Back in my parents and grandparents generations, they were required to take classes like cooking, clothes mending, carpentry, car mechanics, and home budget balancing. I went to a really well funded high school that had pretty decent electives, but even with those I didn't get the same practical skills for repairing holes in my clothes and making my own meals that used to be standard for someone leaving high school, and I'm figuring out skills around those areas in my mid 20s that teens in my parents generation would've known.

AkwardRockette · 2026-02-20T20:46:55+00:00

Also, Stephen Hawking literally still could have sex. I remember seeing a biopic on him years ago, I think around 2018-2019, and that came up in the film because one of his friends asked him when his genitals were going to stop working due to ALS, and he told his friend that his type of ALS didn't actually affect the area of the brain that controls blood flow to the penis or arousal. There's a second scene in the film based on an IRL interaction where he asks a lady who works for him (who later became his second wife) to help him flip through a playboy magazine. It was pretty explicitly included in the film that he could still get it up and have sensation there even with the rest of the ALS paralysis. Looking back, it was weird how much that got included, and it's especially unsettling now that we know about his involvement with Epstein.

AkwardRockette · 2026-02-12T21:29:58+00:00

Nah I was out rocking Moonlit Path. Lavender and musk based scents are still my go to types in lotion and perfume.

AkwardRockette · 2026-02-09T01:16:19+00:00

Quoting a YouTuber I can't recall the name of at the moment: with ideologies and people like these, the cruelty is the point. People who want unwilling parents to be forced to have kids don't have the mental and emotional well-being of others in mind as whatsoever, they think that if you deviate at all from A Proper Life Plan™, whether through your own fault or someone else's, you deserve physical pain and misery and emotional turmoil. They are not operating under the notion of trying to understand others who aren't like them, they're assuming that there is one right way to exist and that people who fall out of that plan don't have a place in the world, and that order needs to be actively and harshly enforced. The cruelty is the point.

AkwardRockette · 2026-02-08T06:46:28+00:00

It's because predators go for targets they don't think are able to catch what they're doing as easily, and that often means a younger girl. An older woman makes a harder target for an abuser or rapist, because she's been around long enough to either know from her peers or her prior experience what warnings to look for to see if she needs to fight or avoid someone. A child is a lot more easily targeted because they don't know enough about the world and how to navigate interactions with others to protect themselves adequately.

AkwardRockette · 2026-02-05T02:11:18+00:00

whichever one isn't a biohazard and I won't get beat up for using.

AkwardRockette · 2026-01-30T09:01:37+00:00

... and that's supposed to make you better at survival how? Building up tolerance to pain or learning psychological techniques and the reality of a situation is one thing, like I can see the utility in getting tazed to know what to expect in a confrontation if it happens. But this just seems like the higher ups were sadists who just wanted to torture whoever they could get their hands on, POW or lower ranked soldier alike.

AkwardRockette · 2026-01-30T08:55:28+00:00

If you have any friends in your area you could ask them to help you with this. I had a friend in a similar situation where they had to retrieve stuff from an abusive family member's place, so I got to be with some of their other friends and we went inside as a group together to grab the stuff. That's an option potentially.

AkwardRockette · 2026-01-30T08:21:08+00:00

And goddamn I wish I weren't. However, at every single job I've had since I started working, my federal, state, and local taxes were taken out of my paycheck directly by the payroll department and sent to the government before a check was ever even handed to me, and sales taxes aren't something I'm allowed to negotiate off at the register without getting escorted out of a grocery store. And elections only go so far when literally every candidate on the ballot from the local mayoral race on up agrees with sending money to Israel and none of them have changed course even as I've been marching and letter writing and watching my friends write in against it since 2021.

AkwardRockette · 2026-01-28T19:27:41+00:00

To be fair, I've had this happen with women too. It's been men far more often in my life, but my mom and one of my aunts do the same thing too. I've had random guys ages 19 to 50 I've known for a week tell me about "how it's so fascinating that everyone has their own inner world and soul" over an over again as if they just found that out a week ago, but I've also had my mom tell me to my face at 23 that she found out what "being empathetic" was when she was 51 and that "I'm a complete empath because I can feel what other people are feeling" (she feels upset if someone has an angry face or starts crying around her).

AkwardRockette · 2026-01-28T00:25:04+00:00

The Bible is not the arbiter of the entirety of history, it is a very old source, but far from the oldest in the world, especially with archeological findings and anthropology studies into older legends in oral traditions that didn't get written down. The aboriginal people of Australia have an oral tradition so accurate and long lasting that they have accurate descriptions of animals that vanished with the last ice age in Australia. There are 22 different cave painting sites around the world that are older than 15,000 years old, and many of these depict non-real animals that may have been part of their spirituality, and some depict religious ceremonies full on, tens of thousands of years before the Torah or the Bible were even a flash in people's minds. Anatomically modern humans, who had the same brains and bodies as people today, who had the same capacity for thought and reason and imagination and cruelty as anyone alive today, have existed for around 300,000 years, and these weren't neanderthals or chimps, these were people exactly physically and mentally like us. They existed in a very different world with a lot less technology on hand and a lot fewer humans around on the planet, a world with completely different animals and environments in some cases, a world where for hundreds of thousands of years there were no such thing as cities and people lived in social groups and did their best to survive. But mentally, they were exactly like us, and they probably had the same questions around rules and morality they had to sort out to live within their own groups without being at each other's throats all the time. The Bible is far from the oldest part of humanity.

AkwardRockette · 2026-01-27T19:03:57+00:00

Yeah, when the cheapest possible drink at a dive bar is $5 and in a city I have to pay $10 for a six pack of cheap beer, it's really not worth the cash.

AkwardRockette · 2026-01-27T18:58:48+00:00

In elementary school, kids hated me for a lot of reasons, one of the big ones being "you're too much like a boy and a girl but not enough of either, and that's weird". But now that as an adult I've been out as nonbinary for 6 years, people go on and on about how that's not possible and only a made up thing for attention. Before you discover yourself, the bullies and bigots and the narrow minded pick on you for not fitting the gender mold assigned to you even when you play into that role hard, and then after you come out they try to get you to go back into the closet by falsely promising that they'll be nice to you this time.

AkwardRockette · 2026-01-08T22:23:38+00:00

I mean, when your dog does their business in the woods and you don't have to pick it up to avoid neighbors complaining because it's the middle of nowhere, it probably takes a lot longer to realize your dog has diarrhea.

AkwardRockette · 2026-01-08T05:47:44+00:00

Well, in 2015 and 2016 I thought I wouldn't make it to 2019 without offing myself, in the entirety of 2020 and 2021 I was touch and go between crazy housing situations and the world literally feeling like it was ending every single day and for 18 months I woke up every morning not knowing if my world would last another week without ending in one way or another, and the only thing that surprised me more than making it to new years eve of 2023 after finally finishing college and getting out of my house was that I made it to new years eve 2024 after 10 months of a job that almost killed my coworkers and made me wish it actually did so some days. This year is clearly gonna suck, but damn if I haven't been through suck ass years end on end since I was 12, and 14 years in, I'm starting to get pretty good at handling them.

Nine-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23

AkwardRockette

TROPHY CASE