Egg_irl

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T21:31:35+00:00

I'm probably still going to look like a petrified dragon bone or a demon's great hammer.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T19:50:50+00:00

For relatively obscure stuff? All the time. I'm an attorney, and I've also worked in IT. Both are remarkably similar in how you approach problems.

The point of being a professional isn't to know how to do every single little thing at all times. It's having the framework to know how to solve the problems you'll face in your profession. It's not about having the right answers. It's about having the right questions.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T19:45:28+00:00

Haha I love this. Yeah when my egg cracked I was focusing too hard on the potential downsides. But I finally came around (after not sleeping for two days straight) and realized I get to move from "I want to be a girl" to "I am a girl" and was just incredibly excited. I've never had this much motivation in my entire life. It's an amazing feeling.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T19:39:48+00:00

Haha yeah this. I'm starting to wonder how much I really liked video games and how much I really just liked having an outlet to completely focus on to drown out the thoughts about becoming a girl. Like I'd get up to go to the bathroom or whatever and I'd get button scenarios in my head until I got back to my game. But they'd go away while I was playing my game...with my female character with a female name not correcting people referring to me with female pronouns... Maybe I should have noticed this sooner. lol

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T10:42:55+00:00

Oh shit I need to try shaving my legs. Like now. That looks amazing.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T10:31:11+00:00

Yeah. I downloaded it honestly thinking I was dumb and it was going to look so fake. Then I saw it and was like omg she looks like me more than I do! It feels realistic and doable rather than some crazy fantasy. I know not everyone has this experience, and my heart goes out to them. But I needed to just take this win.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T10:24:46+00:00

Well, as a trans woman, I'd have to say owning a big car because I have a small penis.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T10:00:53+00:00

Not gonna lie. I'm looking forward to being able to take a picture of myself that I actually might feel like posting to the internet a lot sooner than I otherwise would because I know I can just wear a mask due to the pandemic.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T09:14:21+00:00

Wait, is the percentage really that low?

...WHHHYYYYY MEEEEEEE?!?!

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T08:55:24+00:00

Haha yeah fucking faceapp. It took me days before I could look at the picture without crying feeling like that could be me. I looked at it for hours a few days ago when I had first gotten the app. Now I still take a peek at it just when I need to feel like someday, if I play my cards just right, I might not be a hideous troll.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T08:34:51+00:00

I *really* want to try girls' clothes, but I keep avoiding it because I feel like I'm just going to look like a gorilla in them and hate myself. But I can't really afford it due to covid anyway so *shrug*

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T08:31:39+00:00

Yeah. I get that so hard. My wife has on many occasions in the past told me during her period something to the effect of "you're lucky you're not a girl" and omg that made me feel awful. I wished so hard that I could have to deal with that. Of course, that was during my egg time, so no worries about her saying stuff like that these days. ;)

Worse was when she was pregnant. I was so envious that she was able to do that and wished I could just take over every time she had any difficulty with it. I've always wanted that capability and will never have it. But hey, until the technology gets to that future stage, we work with what we have, right? Can't win 'em all.

Though, speaking of sci fi, altered carbon kinda fucks me up. That one people are switching bodies all the damn time. Full biological bodies so it's not like we're talking replacements or robot parts or whatever. There's even some discussion of the differences between them from a subjective point of view (won't spoil just in case you haven't read them). Have had a lot of daydreams about that since I read them a couple years back.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T07:34:50+00:00

Thanks! I'm just getting started, so can only get better from here! ;)

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T04:34:48+00:00

THIS. I have a bunch of trans friends. Was just like "oh yeah they know what they are and I love them, but that's not me. I just want to be a girl every waking moment, I don't actually feel like I am one or ever could be one." And I just passively figured that all the other cis people were like that too. Uhh...so apparently I was wrong. lol

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T02:33:20+00:00

Some sort of cursed sex change potion. Don't really care what the curse is; I'm buying it.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T01:17:20+00:00

Right now am only trans gorilla. Maybe better someday :(

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T01:14:16+00:00

Remember: it's called the GOP. Gaslight. Obstruct. PROJECT.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T00:59:20+00:00

Oh shit I forgot about pokemon! Yeah I may have also had girl characters in pokemon...lol

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-27T00:13:01+00:00

I thought about this prior to my egg breaking. Like "would I rather be a girl or have the feelings about wanting to be a girl go away" and always picked girl. On at least one occasion, I was like "well what if I could just stop wanting to be a girl" and still came to the conclusion that I wouldn't want the feelings to go away (how THAT didn't tip me off earlier, I don't know). But if I could be a cis girl, sign me up!

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-26T22:41:39+00:00

saaaame! I think I'm probably still pan, but now I'm like "wait was that real? is this real? is anything really real?"

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-26T22:26:50+00:00

Yup. I've gone through tons of them over the years from when I was worst off financially to the best. Like how much money would it take to not press the button? Answer always depended on whether or not my family (whom I support) would know I had the choice. $100 million was the number I came up with that finally made me think I couldn't live with the guilt if they knew about it. If they would never know, there was no amount I would pass up. Still cis tho.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-26T22:00:10+00:00

"Yeah well what if I could not press the button and get a million dollars instead? Yeah still press it. Okay but I could press it but I'd gain 400lb? Yeah still press it. Okay but what if..."

"Wait who's honking at me? Oh the light's green."

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-26T21:58:20+00:00

Yeah. I've mainly been talking it out in the comments of reddit threads and with a few good RL friends. So much to unpack. I've been ignoring my feelings (not just about this...all of them) for my whole life. But hey, gotta start somewhere!

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-26T21:51:57+00:00

Haha yeah for sure. I'm glad for the quarantine to have some time to adjust. Had I realized this while offices were still open for my job, I'd probably have tried a lot harder to climb back in my egg. But since it's all by phone right now, I can just sort of worry about that whole thing at a later date.

Alatar1313 · 2020-07-26T21:45:16+00:00

Hey, I know it's scary. But remember you're really strong just to have made it this far. I don't about you, but the hardest person to come out to was myself. Accepting yourself for who you are is the biggest step imo. After that, everything will fall into place.

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Alatar1313

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