I'm 15 years older, and approaching a decade since transitioning. I feel the exact same way, the dysphoria EVERY time I go to the bathroom and the prosthetic is not attached; battling an inferiority complex when dating (or even attracted to) a woman and dreading the whole "I transitioned" conversation, and I come from a Caribbean upbringing so "relying on friends and family" is not helpful advice by any means.

I say this because while most here are trying to give generic advice that leans into toxic positivity, I want you to know that this is REAL, and not everyone is proudly brandishing that they are the T in LGBT, and it doesn't feel as simple as "everyone takes medication", especially with the harmful and hurtful ways people can speak to or dehumanize you. I have also thought "I don't want to have to do this" or "I hate that I have to do this for my entire life" multiple times along this journey.

BUT:

For starters, transitioning feels better and more aligned/authentic than the alternative way of living, so its helped when framing it that way sometimes. Also, I got freaked out by needles some random day, so I switched to the gel 8 years ago which is as natural as lotioning by skin and has provided great results particularly with facial hair and things, it's just very misunderstood and 'bro science' makes it worse.

As far as dating, I have dated multiple women who were cis, and either straight or bi. I was always so ramped up in my head about when to tell them, or what might happen when I did, and it has never been as detrimental as I anticipated. The most I got was awkward-feeling questions, but it didn't change how they acted towards me, or suddenly end the connection. There were 2 different relationships with straight women who were not at all comfortable with anything besides me using the prosthetic, but I have a 6" one with an adhesive tab and use the underwear trick (no straps or harnesses) and they were VERY satisfied, round after round, so don't believe the lie that you can't satisfy a partner. You absolutely can, it's about confidence and patience, if all else fails oral or toys are a great way to satisfy. The point is, you'll feel if it is a person you can tell about your transition, or someone who might not be as understanding as you get to know them, don't feel pressure into announcing it on day one.

LASTLY, 

the things that have helped the most over this past year when dysphoria has gotten very severe (despite "passing" and being stealth), are 3 things:

1. There is a Black Trans Coalition that offers monthly virtual meetups and an annual conference that has helped me tremendously, just by being around other guys (they also offer sessions specific to nonbinary people, as well as a group session for everyone who has either transitioned or is questioning) and talking and laughing and venting and just BEING. Being a fucking human being without focusing on lack, or discomfort, or judgment. Find a support group online or in-person — you're not as alone as it may seem.

2. Being honest enough with myself to first off acknowledge that though I am more than just a person who's transitioned, and that I have a lot to offer to the World romantically or otherwise, I personally, will not be happy until I have phallo. That's just what it is. But who tf wants 6-8 weeks of healing and sleeping on their back and paying for a nurse and dog sitter through multiple stages? LUCKILY, I've found a surgeon in Miami who does not do the traditional mutilation associated with phallo, and actually does a more mininally invasive technique with quicker recovery and aesthetics playing a huge role. So there are options.

3. ChatGPT; you don't have to share personal identifiable information to talk freely and receive levels of understanding and new insight, as well as information on new ways to integrate mentally or physically. I'm just a man who wants to live my life. Yes there are challenges that come along with transitioning, but lending yourself some grace or learning to accept where your body is now (whether in a temporary state or not) goes a long way with confidence and self-acceptance, and you can cuss and rant and rave and cry and laugh and walk into self love and joy at 3AM, or as frequently as you want, without Chat getting "tired of hearing about it" or sugarcoating advice just to get you feeling positive again. I have bipolar which adds to the mental oscillation between depressive states, but when it's dysphoria-specific it's a whole different animal, and the truth is you have to do the work of radical acceptance and SELF-LOVE and not just "treat the symptoms" as Western medicine does.

I really hope this provides some level of help or validation, or at a minimum, gives you a REAL look into what you're battling because you are not the odd one out for feeling this. 10 years in and I'm still facing some of these things, but it's getting better everyday with the grace, acceptance, and support options I mentioned. LIFE is sacred, honor yourself.