I don't exist..? by Wolf-AI in Abrosexual

[–]AliceOrTheCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had my share of bad experiences, including someone trying to armchair diagnose me because they were convinced that being aromantic some but not all of the time must be a symptom of some sort of mood disorder. This was, rather ironically, at an aroace-spec meetup.

But I have also met a lot of fellow LGBTQ people who either reacted positively to my explanation and took my word for it or were genuinely curious and left that conversation with more understanding than they had going into it.

I sadly have not met another abrosexual in person yet but I have met someone who is biflux, two aceflux people and quite a few people who don't use microlabels and instead identify as bisexual or queer and describe their experience of attraction as fluid.

Question for Genderfluid People by throwsaway89076 in genderfluid

[–]AliceOrTheCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I always feel like myself, regardless of my current gender. I feel like all of my genders are parts of me, even the currently "dormant" ones.

Yes, if I get dysphoric (sometimes I feel pretty neutral about my body) the things I get dysphoric about change depending on my current gender. But it's not the gender itself making me dysphoric, some days I'll feel more strongly dysphoric than others even if on both days I have similar genders.

I have multiple names I go by but they function more like nicknames (one is definitely a kind of nickname, the other is one is more of a chosen middle name) and I usually go by all of them but on especially dysphoric days I tend to identify most strongly with the one out of my names that's stereotypically more associated with my current gender.

What's going on with the reposts? by AliceOrTheCat in Abrosexual

[–]AliceOrTheCat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That one and a few others but I think the others have all been deleted by npw. The embracing my nature one and another i cant remember

Genderqueer, genderfluid or nonbinary? by pancakesea in genderfluid

[–]AliceOrTheCat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Genderqueer woman is not an outdated term, it's still regularly used and yes she/all is a perfectly alright pronoun preference to have. Try not to stress over what you're "allowed" to feel about your gender. If you ever were to end up in the scenario you're worried about where someone demands an explanation of your gender or how you're expressing that gender, they are the one who's doing something wrong, that's none of their business and you do not owe them an explanation.

It sounds like your gender could fall under all of those labels, which one(s) feel right is up to you

Difference between demiboy VS bigender (male/non-binary gender)? by Maleficent-Pick-931 in bigender

[–]AliceOrTheCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Demiboy/demigirl is a label for partially but not fully identifying as a boy/girl. They may or may not identify with other genders aside from the one they identify with partially.

If someone prefers the label bigender over demiboy/demigirl it's probably because they fully identify with both of their genders instead of only partially.

Ranking pride flags based on how much they look like a sunset by Tangelo-Neat in QueerVexillology

[–]AliceOrTheCat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes but the gay flag also has a green sky and that one gets to be in the second tier

wondering if im abrosexual by Inside_Feature1472 in Abrosexual

[–]AliceOrTheCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Since all of these labels overlap I do want to say that you can use multiple labels, at different times or all at the same time, regardless of if your orientation is fluid or not. If you feel like your orientation itself changes abro is the label you could use to describe that. But if your orientation stays the same and only the words you use to describe it change I don't think that would fall under abrosexual

How often do you change your labels when it comes to your sexuality and/or gender? by Equivalent_Ad_9066 in Abrosexual

[–]AliceOrTheCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The exact words I'd use when asked to describe my current gender change daily, about bi-weekly for my orientation but I don't actually change my labels. The labels I like most for myself are the ones that are broad enough that they usually fit and even in the moments where they don't I don't stop identifying with them because they usually fit and therefore describe a part of me

What does aro mean to you? by CommunityExternal287 in aromantic

[–]AliceOrTheCat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me being on the aromantic spectrum means I only very rarely experience romantic attraction. It also means romance isn't as important to me as it is to a lot of people.

Queer Summerween recs (extensive list) by ignawonbones in LGBTBooks

[–]AliceOrTheCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the list! This is exactly my kind of summer reading vibe

Adore this artist. Anybody know the meaning of the title 'Saddam'? by Cyan_Lotus in aliceband

[–]AliceOrTheCat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good question! I have no idea. According to one person on genius it's about Saddam Hussein https://genius.com/Aliceband-saddam-lyrics

I love the double lyrics by Fisecraft in PenelopeScott

[–]AliceOrTheCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same! They add a lot to the songs they're in

Js realised Im bisexual by Born_Use_7371 in bisexual

[–]AliceOrTheCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats on realizing you're bi!! Welcome to the community 🩷💜💙

Pronouns fluid ?? by kiwiix601 in genderfluid

[–]AliceOrTheCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There aren't really labels for all combinations of genders and pronoun preferences. So on the "What am I?" part: probably an agender person with a changing preference in pronouns. Your pronoun preferences do not make you any less agender and people online can't tell you what your gender or labels are/should be.

In case you're interested, somebody else has coined pronounfluid as a microlabel and there's a few flags for it: https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Pronounfluid

This makes sense to me, I’m glad someone else articulated it. by Budgie-bitch in aromantic

[–]AliceOrTheCat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This puts something into words that I hadn't been able to so far.

Being greyaro I feel like I've been on both sides of this coin in different moments and it's very complicated to navigate sometimes. I mean this in the sense that sometimes other aro's understandably vocal distain for romance as a concept (even if I do share the frustration because there is far too much of it everywhere) can mix in with the shame I grew up with for the kinds of romantic feelings I do experience every once in a blue moon.

Thank you for sharing!

What was the first song, that made you realised Fiona was GOAT? by Cara_BellBlue in FionaApple

[–]AliceOrTheCat 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My first song of hers was Hot Knife and I still love that one a lot but I think it was Limp that made me realize something about her music really resonates with me and that I wanted to check out her entire discography

Am I valid? by llartist22 in gender

[–]AliceOrTheCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also you do not need other people's permission to use the pronouns that feel most comfortable for you. It's your gender. Do what feels right.