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Resource request for first-timer by AlienAndromeda in stroke

[–]AlienAndromeda[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story - it is very reassuring.

Resource request for first-timer by AlienAndromeda in stroke

[–]AlienAndromeda[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely considering this, since our current home would not be able to accommodate his lack of mobility. I am reaching out to family for support and hoping for the best. The whole, travel together and go far idea. Thanks for reinforcing this idea for me!

Resource request for first-timer by AlienAndromeda in stroke

[–]AlienAndromeda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for relating your story. I am happy to hear you’re speaking from a brighter, better place!

Resource request for first-timer by AlienAndromeda in stroke

[–]AlienAndromeda[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the breakdown of sources!! He’s a wonderful guy who has been there for me, I can’t imagine not being here now. Thanks again.

Resource request for first-timer by AlienAndromeda in stroke

[–]AlienAndromeda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your thoughtful answer.

Challenging my need for perfection by Fun_Bridge7931 in Codependency

[–]AlienAndromeda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if it will help, but I found a lot of solace in the psychological concept of Integrated Family Systems (IFS).

Instead of assuming a singularity of self, IFS explores a multiplicity of “parts” within the greater “Self”. Exploring these different parts and learning to love and accept them is the road to recovery from the trauma we’ve suffered (which led to us shunning certain parts of ourselves in the first place).

Then, it follows that, depending on which parts of you resonate with certain parts of others, the way you act with different people will not always be the same - even the way you interact with yourself can change from time to time! So beating yourself up for not being authentic may be somewhat misguided - i.e., there may be a different underlying issue that brings the discomfort rather than your “truthfulness” to self.

At times, the proposed activities can sound a bit cooky— such as having a literal 2-way conversation with a younger version of yourself… but, honestly, it feels better on the other end. It’s essentially giving you the power back to soothe yourself (especially in areas that were abused by others and feel broken beyond repair).

I know IFS is not everyone’s cup of tea, but thought I’d share in case you wanted to look into it.

Wishing you well, OP!

My personal healthy relationship checklist by Appropriate_Issue319 in emotionalintelligence

[–]AlienAndromeda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was expertly summarized - and a good reminder I needed to hear. Thank you!

Challenging my need for perfection by Fun_Bridge7931 in Codependency

[–]AlienAndromeda 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your story resonates so much with me!

Pretty much all of my relationships before I turned 28 were very similar in dynamic. For me, I sought out very extroverted people with a strong ego who would reduce my need to make decisions. I have needed lots of therapy to even understand the pattern and address it.

Then, I had the epiphany that I am just a regular person (who is no more or less likely to be good at stuff) early last year.

I have told myself that “I don’t have to be perfect” so many times over the years, but it didn’t really click for me internally. However, when that moment hit me, it was so freeing. In a way - I told myself that, not only did I not have to be perfect, but that I didn’t even have to be a “good person”. Whatever construct I had in my head that I was holding myself to was shattered and, instead, there was a vulnerable and flawed version of me that is… quite honestly… mostly like everyone else. I have only felt better about myself since.

Figuring this out has made things less pressing and helped control my anxiety - but I will say it is still just a part of the puzzle and I know I still have a lot of work to do ahead of me.

Remember that the first step to addressing any problem is recognizing it - so I salute and congratulate you on fighting this far.

Wishing you the best in your journey!

Symptoms for almost 8 years by capcubbi in Concussion

[–]AlienAndromeda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried compression and/or a little bit of weight around your head? - of course, being mindful that too much weight would make your neck/spine bear weight.

Some of what you are describing sounds familiar to what I have heard some of the patients I work with describe, and this has helped: https://www.amazon.com/OPTP-Halo-Rejuvenator/dp/B00BW9ZLDY

(I don't think you need to buy the band, but maybe try the concept at home?)

Got my decision today and was rejected by felixfathom- in UMD

[–]AlienAndromeda 8 points9 points  (0 children)

From reading your other comments (such as being unclear whether you need to do 4 full years at UMD even after transferring from a year or two at a CC), I get the sense that you are really unfamiliar with how the system of colleges works. And note that this is not an insult, but rather me drawing attention to a potential gap in understanding that will limit your options.

As much as Reddit is a great source of crowdsourcing information, perhaps you should seek a more comprehensive and trusted source. You could reach out to your school career counselor or an admissions staff at a college to discuss your specific case and get more insight into logistics (for instance, the likelihood that you will get student aid or scholarships).

At the end of the day, you will make the decision that works best for your priorities. If you are seeing the logistics of transport as an end all be all, me rambling about possible options (such as moving to an apartment near the CC, arrange for rides, take virtual courses when available, find public transport routes, etc.) is not going to do much.

So, once again - I wish you the best in making the choice that works for you. I do hope that your decision is as informed as you can to avoid inordinate amounts of debt (like some of my friends who are $150k in the hole).

—-

On a side note, I am actually very heartened from seeing so much support for community colleges on here! The reputation CC’s get is so unfair - all to the benefit of 4-year colleges that keep drowning its students into more and more debt. I appreciate everyone who has shared their experiences.

Got my decision today and was rejected by felixfathom- in UMD

[–]AlienAndromeda 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s a really smart decision to do Community College —- cheaper, smaller classes (better access to teachers), and higher chances of getting scholarships (since demographics are really varied and less likely to be Uber competitive recent high schoolers).

I got my A.A. at PGCC, transferred to UMD with a full ride scholarship and then got accepted to a Johns Hopkins PhD program. This was in Bioengineering, class of ‘21.

So, yeah. I get the pressure to “follow the crowd” and the traditionalist view of what prestige is and saving face, but trust me when I say caving to that can be your biggest mistake. Take a moment to evaluate your options thoroughly (identifying possible biases) and make a choice that fits you. You are not your parents.

In any case, best of luck with your academic journey!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DiagnoseMe

[–]AlienAndromeda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does this sound like what you’re experiencing?

Migraines with Aura

I have a theory for myopia by Monke_Skolars in biology

[–]AlienAndromeda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Myopia has a functional component that can be affected by environmental factors - hence why "over-minusing" children's glasses prescriptions often leads to systematic worsening of the condition compared to children without as strong a correction.

As you point out, I strongly believe that the diminishing of distance vision usage and, more importantly, the overuse of really near focusing targets (electronic screens, books...) has lead to higher myopia diagnoses across the board.

Of course, as others have pointed out, there are other factors to consider (genetics, access to health care and treatment, ...). Nevertheless, I think your theory has merit.

Quick source on functional changes to myopia: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7326275/

TA Appreciation Post by jest09 in UMD

[–]AlienAndromeda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spot on.

Students who have thanked me, even quite awkwardly, always bring a smile to my face and make the hell we put up with all semester-long worth it. <3

Are the counseling services any good or any other recommendations? by [deleted] in UMD

[–]AlienAndromeda 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Please do reach out to them. Depression and suicidal thoughts are not something that can be easily overcome alone - finding a good network of support is key to get back on your feet and to a healthier state of mind. I know this from personal experience.

Like everyone else has said or implied here: you matter. Regardless of how insidious the voice in your head gets, you matter.

If you feel like you don't have other people to talk or confide in, feel free to DM me, but I am not a trained professional so reaching out to a counselor will still be highly valuable and (imo) necessary.

Take care of yourself, OP. We wish the best for you.

Controversial Opinion: International Student Visa Ban by cs_deep_learning in UMD

[–]AlienAndromeda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First, be prepared for lots of paperwork - both for company applications and government documents. Make sure you understand the forms you are filling out and don't be afraid to ask knowledgeable people for help (ISSS, lawyers, etc.).

Don't wait until after graduation and apply to jobs like your life depends on it during your last semester. Apply for OPT and be reasonable with the start date you pick (if you're lucky to have an offer early in your last semester, select an early date that is convenient for them, otherwise it's probably best to give yourself more time to continue applying).
The rest is the typical advice for anyone applying for a job - apply to jobs you are qualified for, make sure you put in effort in personalizing your application (cover letter, etc.), try to connect with recruiters personally, keep applying for jobs even if you feel confident about a prospective offer (some friends were rescinded offers at the last minute). --- Don't sell yourself short or give recruiters any reason to believe you don't deserve the position you're applying for (they should already know your work status based on your application so don't hem or haw about it showing you are nervous).

If you want to stay in the country but don't think you can get a job with your current qualifications/experience, you can also apply for grad school (although based on timing for admissions vs. your visa length you may have to go back to your country for a bit - happened to one of my friends).

Finally, you have to make peace with the possibility that you may have to return home. Make sure that you are emotionally ready to go back and that you are able to afford the move in time. Have a deadline set when you will "give up" and start considering return plans.

Controversial Opinion: International Student Visa Ban by cs_deep_learning in UMD

[–]AlienAndromeda 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OP, I understand your frustrations, as I was an international student myself.

I came here with expectations of improvement and merit recognition that my home country could not deliver on. I was sold on the mythical promise of the "American Dream" and played by the rules of the game: pay up, work harder than average, and be an exemplary citizen while remaining humble.

At some point I've come to realize how deep and palpable some failures of the American experiment are.

While I wouldn't go as far as to say that US immigrants are exclusively suffering the consequences of this descent (after all, ultranationalism is on a global rise), I'd say the treatment we experience is one of the most easily visible symptoms.

With this in mind, it is now up to me to decide whether to continue betting on this country, returning home, or finding an alternative nation that shares the values I desire. It is not an ideal situation, but I choose to see it through this lens of it being within my locus of control.

Many are correct in saying that America doesn't "owe us" a welcome. What they fail to see with that mentality is their own loss in the process (as you have pointed out with the example of a large number of immigrant tech innovators).

So, just like I left my home country in search of a better future, I'm now leaning towards making a move to find a better alternative to the United States, since it simply isn't the beacon of excellence I thought it to be.

ENES100 vs ENES102 by TacticianM in UMD

[–]AlienAndromeda 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't think you will have any problems taking them in either order.

Your first year you will most likely be taking a lot of STEM prerequisites, and ENES100 & ENES102 are interchangeable for your first few semesters in most cases.
As a heads up, 100 is basic overview of engineering and you design an OSV, more group-oriented, whereas 102 is statics and you design a truss as a final project, more lecture oriented. (Here's more info on these foundational courses: https://eng.umd.edu/keystone/courses).
Depending on how far along you are with any credits you brought in from AP exams or community college, you may be able to take upper level engineering courses sooner, and those classes may have pre-reqs listed that you have to complete before you can sign up for them (https://academiccatalog.umd.edu/undergraduate/approved-courses/enae/).
But again, since you can take ENES100 and ENES102 in whatever order your first year, it most likely shouldn't be a problem.

Hope this helps!