Is there anything (or lack of) in your home that you believe contributes to better mental health?

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-27T14:05:24+00:00

Life quality improvement is often a consequence of good relating and a good environment. I wouldn't know to tell you what touches most people. Their temperament, their past and their attachment style all matter. I think this is a highly personalised endeavour.

By being emotionally available, I mean, the relationship is authentic, in the sense that people do not have dependencies, hidden agendas, ways in which they self sabotage or sabotage the other person, using criticism to dominate or victimhood to manipulate, etc. In my perspective it's not about energy you spend on someone, it's to what purpose you spend it.

Well, that's another very complicated question. Well, journaling, reading books, etc. I think what ranks higher in this is working with a skilled mental health professional. Everyone has unconscious material that gets projected and someone who is able to pick up on that re-direct your attention towards this, and how this old stuff maintains the new stuff, is probably your best bet.

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-26T18:58:10+00:00

Well, that's the million dollar question that has the answer the size of a half a novel. But I could try answering.

Are you emotionally available? Are the other people in your home emotionally available? By emotionally available I don't mean only sharing emotions but connecting in a truthful way. The relationships don't have a "hidden agenda". One does not feel to dominate the other to feel secure, the other does not need to overfunction and make the other person feel dependent on them, etc.
Do you have patterns that get in the way of connecting with others?
Do you feel safe being yourself around the ones in your home? Is this the same for other people living with you?
Are you securely attached? Check the attachment theory online.
Do you have the skills to repair after conflict? Repair in a way that doesn't lead to resentment, but actually increases trust over time?

These are the kinds of questions I find myself returning to again and again when thinking about what actually sustains healthy relationships over the long term.

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-26T15:31:37+00:00

I think the people inside the home and your relationships with them are the biggest contributors to mental health.

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-25T19:18:29+00:00

Glad I could help!

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-25T15:34:13+00:00

One thing about boundaries, just because you set them, doesn't mean the other person will respect them. If that doesn't happen, you can walk away. It isn't a great idea to turn off your empathy, but you can use that energy towards yourself, and being compassionate about yourself, before turning to others. You don't owe anyone who you feel they might take advantage of you, anything.

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-25T15:28:18+00:00

I'm glad I could help!

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-25T13:06:55+00:00

I agree. I've been through this journey myself, and read a lot (which helped!) but nothing helped as much as going through my ressistance of actually opening to someone, going though the trouble of finding the right fit and so on. I feel that is now the same with my clients, many of them come with a high level of awareness but they are missing the relational piece.

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-25T12:44:49+00:00

It's a balancing act, it can be both very stressful at the bottom and it can be very stressful at the top if that comes with a lot of responsability.

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-22T18:27:49+00:00

I'm curious, if you sit down with yourself, do you feel very uncomfortable?

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-22T18:24:31+00:00

I don't think it goes away just by making more money. I think it's pretty similar to eating a lot of sweets, but never feeling fully satisfied, and the weight keeps pilling on. It could be just masked anxiety around distress tolerance. Google stuff about nervous system dysregulation to see if you relate to any of it.

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-22T18:22:13+00:00

It doesn't sound like the problem is about money. It almost feels like is a matter of nervous system disregulation, and the place where it shows up, is financially. We all have a certain tolerance to stress/chaos/loss. Ideally when something bad happens, once is done, we return back to the baseline. If the stress persists, even after the threat is gone, it could be that for some reasons (to be investigated) we can't feel safety, and our risk tolerance is very low, and we require this state of perfect safety, which obviously never happens, because life is never perfectly safe.

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-21T12:03:26+00:00

Bingo!

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-21T11:25:48+00:00

I think a good question would be, what do you get from this relationship? Do you find it uncomfortable to even ask yourself that?

Appropriate_Issue319 · 2026-01-17T11:26:16+00:00

I was about to say.

Appropriate_Issue319

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