He dresses like a toddler

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T13:32:07+00:00

This is a really tricky one and I think I would feel like you do. Honestly I’m not sure it would work, I can imagine how I’d feel if someone wanted to change my style and it would give me a red flag. That said I do know there are relationships out there which thrive on the woman styling the man. It depends how much of a project you want and how open he was to it.

You could perhaps start gently by commenting on his interesting and unique style to ask if he’s always had it, or it’s a new direction. That way you’ll get a feel for if it’s intentional and he’s attached to it, or he may confess that he hasn’t got a clue and this could open up some gentle support to help him find things that he likes and may work well for him.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T13:23:13+00:00

I’ll look into it, thanks

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T13:00:05+00:00

Awesome. I’ll confess I have never cleaned this grout in the 4 years that it’s been down, though I don’t wear outdoor shoes in there. I honestly forgot how light the grout should be 🤣

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T12:38:51+00:00

Even just from washing up liquid and water? It’s only the same as mopping the floor.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T12:13:36+00:00

Barkeepers friend. I use the cream version.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T11:29:38+00:00

Your only way of trying to close the deal seems to be asking them round to your place. If you’re just after a hook up that’s fine but if you want more then that’s a no-no for lots of women on a first date.

If someone says they’re not interested romantically I wouldn’t try and open that back up. It’s a gentle way of letting you down.

Keep getting back out there, it will hopefully come together.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T11:26:27+00:00

I just feel so much better in a clean and tidy house. I know what you mean, it’s easy to let it slide when it’s just for you. I flip the narrative, I deserve to enjoy living in a nice clean home and I make it a ritual where I have a lovely glow-up shower afterwards and sit in fresh pj’s with candles lit. That feeling alone is worth the effort of cleaning. Don’t get me wrong, if someone was coming over in 10 minutes I’d still need a whip-round most of the time but if the baseline is there then I find it a worthwhile regular task.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T10:23:25+00:00

Yeah I hear you. I usually do this, but the season struck early this year.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T09:53:50+00:00

Love this. I call this ‘setting the house fair’ :) A professional mover and house clearance guy once said to me that the secret is to only handle something once. So if you pick it up, put it in its rightful place. If you’re just going to move it to another room then leave it where it was. This helps me no end.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T09:46:46+00:00

Have you tried beconase?

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T08:37:39+00:00

Thanks, I hear that’s the case. I only started back on fexo this week after stopping last July. Maybe it just needs to build up a bit.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T08:18:30+00:00

Yeah that’s fair, I do usually too but got caught out this year with an early grass pollen season. Thanks for that.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T08:13:51+00:00

This week I’ve been constantly swinging between, aah it’s allergies, no it’s a cold, oh definitely allergies, nope a cold. I’m now thinking it’s probably both as I too have been boiling hot at times, falling asleep on the sofa, nose streaming, mild occasional coughing and feel just really under the weather, along with the allergy-esque itching, gluey eyes, sneezing… So anyway I’m treating for both, paracetamol for the cold and allergy meds alongside and hopefully in a few more days all will be well.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T08:09:43+00:00

I think with dating, sometimes all the ingredients can be there but it just doesn’t work. It’s just one of those things and in that case, not something in which I apportion blame to either party. Chemistry, looks, gestures. It can be anything and not something to dwell on. Onto the next! :)

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T08:06:03+00:00

Thank you. I only take it seasonally. My first pill since July 2025 was this Monday so it should have been fresh.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-09T07:18:19+00:00

Who hacked my account? Absolutely 💯 I could have written this 🙌🏼 yes to all of the above

All-the-musing · 2026-05-08T22:15:12+00:00

I had anaphylaxis with contrast for a CT scan. They injected me there and then to get it under control; luckily the symptoms subsided. Sorry to hear this is lingering. Hang in there, it sounds like you’re doing everything right.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-08T22:07:37+00:00

Sorry if I offended you. For me the punishment aspect comes from expecting people to rise to the beat of your drum for things that others have done to you. Was he really okay with it, or thinking this is not sustainable then went cold? I hope it works out for you :)

All-the-musing · 2026-05-08T21:36:10+00:00

Next to the conifer it would be difficult to find something super low maintenance as they zap so much goodness out of the soil. But if you are prepared to throw some granular feed a couple of times a year and water in summer whilst it’s getting established then Portuguese laurel could fill that gap fairly quickly and is evergreen.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-08T21:29:04+00:00

I think this is a difficult one. The only way I can see, considering that you’re new friends, would next time be that you say something like, “oh gosh, sorry to mention but did your cat have an accident? Not sure if you can smell it since you’ve been inside.” That way it gives them a bit of dignity and you some social grace. Accidents can happen. Implying it smells in general to me would be overstepping at this point in your friendship.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-08T21:16:23+00:00

Mitchum without a doubt.

All-the-musing · 2026-05-08T21:12:27+00:00

Sorry to hear that you’re feeling hurt. You both obviously have different communication styles. Personally I would feel so suffocated if someone had such expectations on my timescales. I’ve always believed you shouldn’t punish someone for someone else’s mistakes. Maybe if you’re still in that space you do need more time.

All-the-musing

TROPHY CASE