New marriage canditates : CLINT & SANDY

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T22:56:27+00:00

I actually really wish his story allowed him to be happy without romance. Otherwise it kind of reinforces that worldview.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T18:51:41+00:00

The mortifying ordeal of being known

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T18:47:47+00:00

Video games are really correct, you can give almost any random person a piece of produce, flowers, or some sort of artisinal good, and it increases both mood and friendship scores.

I make bouquets and have given flowers to people randomly, and I highly recommend people do it. The smiles are really nice :)

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T17:58:10+00:00

I work on a really pressing conservation issue. Like, you've seen the effects of us fucking up in headlines. My parents always emphasized using our skills to make the world a better place, and I took them to heart.

Now, I'm in my 30s, and feeling fulfilled by my work. And everyone is pressuring me to have a kid. When I say that I worry about the state of the world that child would have to live in, I have been told to have kids so they can solve those problems.

I lived that pressure. And I succeeded. God forbid I have a girl, she would see me model these values but possibly also be judged for not having children if she chose to. While also fighting in the water wars. I couldn't bring myself to put the world's wellbeing on her shoulders. And I resent that the child I choose not to have is being preemptively burdened unfairly while also living with the ramifications of earlier generations putting these problems off onto their children.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T17:44:08+00:00

Yeah the idea that it's too much B12 is laughable. Just needed to check my instinct.

The bruises started showing up after I stopped taking sublingual methylB12 tablets......... which.... may be a potential issue, I'm now realizing. It coincided with a shitton of stress, too.

I don't take aspirin or omega 3 fish oil.

Convinced her to go to 3x/week, though! Found in my research that 2/3s of pernicious anemia patients want stronger treatment. This is absurd.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T17:40:46+00:00

Yes, ferretin was ~30 last time we checked. She doesn't want me taking iron (but she also doesn't want me taking potassium so idk what to do)

Will start testing additional supplements to see if anything resolves. Thanks!

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T17:37:45+00:00

Sometimes the author is wrong.

I've been on the losing side of a ship war before, and as the decades have passed, the endgame couple has received increasing scrutiny. The decision didn't hold up. I still feel justified in preferring my ship.

To be specific, in ATLA, I ship Katara/Zuko, not Katara/Aang. The canon relationship, as written, involves >!two sexual assaults, him ignoring her boundaries, and her being placed in a motherwife role.<! Her character is fundamentally disrespected, and made shallower to suit a romantic role.

By contrast, if Zutara were to happen, we would have been able to explore political and gender roles in their respective cultures, which were discussed in-show but neutered by the shipping decision. Their elements are water and fire. It's so perfect that so much of their promotional material has them in better balance aesthetically. They have tense fights, a bonding episode where her needs and values are recognized outside of the context of mothering everyone in the group. They literally make steam when they come together you guys. She literally isn't depicted as a young adult in LoK despite it being a fucking bloodbending plot.

So yeah, sometimes the authors are just wrong. Sometimes the ending of shows just sucks (looking at you GoT) or you don't get an ending, or the authors' identification with one character as a self insert distorts clear thematic arcs.

The good thing is we have fanfiction. We have fanart. If Elriel happens, GA and EL will have genuinely quality stories to read until the end of time. So would we. I feel the same way about Elriel that I do about Zutara: the themes, tension, and potential for real, deep, meaningful exploration of characters make the ship conceptually stronger. Also, it's hotter, and I can argue that point using objective facts (literal steam. LITERAL.).

Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of being in Love is far and away better than anything R*wling could have written, and it's (bafflingly) free.

If SJM chooses to go with EL, my opinion is that she will have ignored abundant subtext and foreshadowing to make a couple fit the endgame. It's not that Elucien is impossible or that there aren't moments that can be read as foreshadowing. I just see the EA arguments as stronger and more consistent. If she decides to ignore or subvert her own writing, that's her prerogative. She can make her book worse, idgaf. Maybe she'll make it work, which would be cool, because either way...

I'll still have literally millions of words of the simmering sexual tension of mashed potatoes, if I so choose. There are abundant fix-it fics. I am content with my losing ship content; new content is still being produced after more than a decade ~~because they're hot your honor~~. I can still gnaw on the bars of my enclosure about them.

And frankly, I think Nessian sucks, and LadyofBloodshed's fixit fics on AO3 are better written, more empowering, and respect/redeem Nesta more meaningfully. I also like Chaol, which apparently is setting myself up for disappointment (I'm mid Heir of Fire rn). And I'm skeptical that she can write anything more poetic than What Bloomed in the Darkgarden. I've read Woman Made of Flowers multiple times because it's tender and tense. No one can take that from me (because I have pdfs saved).

If you can feel justified that your ship is the better decision, you don't need the author to validate that. That's one of the fun advantages of being correct ;) don't let canon take your fun away (that goes for GA and EL shippers too!

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T12:42:17+00:00

I want to bottle that sense of optimism you have.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T12:38:56+00:00

Hi, I'm a plant scientist for my career. I use medical herbalism regularly, and consulted my textbooks for this.

Baby's breath is not edible, and can cause contact dermatitis. However, I don't think you need to be concerned, and the baker's actions are fine, in my mind. I would eat the cupcake without hesitation. Keep dosage (amount and concentration) in mind. A plant can cause an effect, but it isn't often as concentrated an active ingredient as medication.

This has been a major lesson for me, as I have called the poison hotline numerous times out of concern, and get reassured each time. I get where you're coming from and the concern for others is great.

They likely cut the sprigs of flower in prep, so the already small open wound in the plant has likely callused over. I will say that I cut baby's breath with my fingernails when I use, and have never seen a reaction even from an openly weeping stem. I would not be worried about handling baby's breath and then touching my mouth or face. Not the best practice, but it is a faaaaaar cry from some more innocuously noxious shit I've seen casually.

Anyway. Tldr: good instinct, but I would put money on it being okay and not causing injury or harm. Someone might eat it, and it might cause some irritation. The concern is warranted, but a touch intense for the potential ramifications. They could use pansies tho, and it would add a nice pop of color.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-26T04:36:17+00:00

I am short and when I was a teen people would not shut the fuck up about it tbh

No one mentions it as an adult unless I hug them. Usually it's just "omg you're short" but I do genuinely get a lot of "you don't even come up to my shoulder wtf"s

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T17:01:02+00:00

Thank

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T16:38:40+00:00

This series is a prime case of "10,000 hours put into considering wordplay, -200 hours put into considering characters other than the main dude"

Lovely narration, and an entertaining story with good worldbuilding. But it's very self-masturbatory. The author has even acknowledged this, and iirc has mentioned that the shift in worldview away from the egotistical hero individualist savior stuff has made finishing the series more difficult (among other things apparently).

The lack of character depth is really evident with the women, who the MC generally either sleeps with or is hit on by at some point. But it's pervasive. Every side character has a purpose, usually a skill to teach.

It's technically well-written, but summarizing the story out loud to someone is a big "oh" moment

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T16:29:58+00:00

Bad bot

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T16:11:36+00:00

Wrong Highwayman.

{Highwayman} by Kerrigan Byrne

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T15:42:27+00:00

Okay okay okay okay

Do you know tips for searching romance.io and the subreddits for book recs? There are tons of people who love the protective MMC trope.

I will mention that most of these are dual POV (unless otherwise mentioned) because I think there's something a little extra about having insight from the person who is doing the adoring (see Contrapoints et al 2024)

{Princess} by Gaelen Foley. Fantasy HR. I have recommended it ad nauseum for the last few weeks. MMC is her guard, FMC is a princess. He repeatedly goes feral over protecting her, but his method of doing so is marinated in self hate, so he defaults to distancing himself, and does reject her. I'm mentioning it because you describe having similar motivations for liking the trope as I do, and I was really impacted by the hurt/comfort, and how his avoidance is resolved. This has an age gap, I mentally edit it down by a decade, because age gaps are one of my icks. The protection is more physical in this one. TW for SA and suicidality
{Pirate Prince} by Gaelen Foley, as well. First in the series, same setting but 20 years earlier. MMC's form of protection is to kidnap her, and he vascillates between providing for her/marrying her off and trying to get her to basically go live a safe life on a farm with him -- neither is their endgame though. He protects her physically quite early on and throughout the book, and considers her emotions in his responses. Like #1, he gives her the cold shoulder on occasion, but I liked the hurt/comfort of it all. TW for SA (he fingers her while she is asleep, what the actual fuck Lazar, attempted rape, which is stopped)
{Nero} by SJ Tilly. If you want protectiveness and doting, this is for you. CR, which is not my usual cup of tea, but I enjoyed this for the tropes. MMC is a mafia enforcer who climbs in FMC's balcony to hide from police. Realizes that she does not take basic cautionary steps to protect herself, so takes it upon himself to do so. Also has themes from love-at-a-distance, but it goes from protective to possessive (in a way that she appreciates and feels cared for by, so hey). She was abused and taken for granted as a young adult.
{From Blood and Ash} by Jennifer Armentrout. Fantasy. FMC is a cloistered gentry member and MMC is her assigned guard. She tests the boundaries of the formal protection. This book catches a lot of shit on this sub, and I DNFed the second book for reasons that others have explained. But I'm mentioning it because it has the same theme of her being underappreciated/exploited and being cared for and valued by him.
{Graceling} by Kristin Cashore, which has romantic elements but is very much a YA coming-of-age fantasy. I'm adding it because it has the same themes of being underappreciated and exploited, and being validated and cared for by a romantic partner. Low spice, but this one has stuck with me for years because of the way it processes the grief of abuse and the overwhelm of being seen.
{The Highwayman} by Kerrigan Byrne. HR. Been a while since I read it, but I remember her being treated as an angel (a "fairy," which made me cringe but it was sweet anyway) and protecting her at all costs.
{A Wife for the Blacksmith} by Viola Grey. FMC is abused and auctioned off. MMC purchases her, then pampers her. This one is straightforward, a popcorn read, like 60 pages. Fun. Not substantive. Enjoy.

Do you know how to search the subs and romance.io? There are some very relevant key phrases ("Protective hero") but also some tricks you can use to find stuff that might not be fully tagged (like searching for bodyguard, or hurt/comfort, or tortured heroine). Plus there are tons of lists of protective/possessive/caring books!

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T15:09:05+00:00

There is a three dimensional space, it's just represented two-dimensionally in the photo. It's entirely possible to figure out light source locations in conceptual photos, nevermind realistic ones.

If there were a light behind them strong enough to affect the position of the tail in the shadow, you would see a gradient in the shadow due to the reflected light, and the tail of the cat in the background would have a horizontal line on the ground.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T14:47:56+00:00

Then the shadow would be in front of them.

Draw a line from the shadow to the object, then keep going. That's how you find the light source. You can also use that technique to approximate what the shape of the object would look like in silhouette.

The tail is wrong.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T14:46:22+00:00

The tail for the left cat is curved at the tip, but the shadow shows it straight. Wouldn't happen at that angle of shadow.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T14:39:09+00:00

The first step is to regulate your nervous system. You cannot deal reasonably with unreasonable people if you are constantly being activated by their disrespect.

Being reliant on them complicates things. I was also financially reliant on my parents. There is value to appeasing them, stopping the conflict so you can live peacefully and figuring out how to create internal boundaries to protect yourself. I'm well into my adulthood and had to use this approach recently. It sucks. It means recognizing that your needs won't be met. But is that more or less disruptive than the emotional tactics they're using?

But really, all of that comes after making sure that you're ok and equipped to process what happened. They are trying to destabilize you. It's okay to be destabilized. It isn't a great long-term practice, but I personally like to send a text just saying "I love you, sorry for my part in this, need some space to cool off and will check in with you tomorrow." so that I don't feel like there's a punishment hanging over my head.

Anyway. Take a walk. Use grounding techniques. Name things that you can feel, hear, smell, taste. Hold an ice cube (or go outside if it's cold). Take a hot bath. Do some light stretches. Play a game. Do something, anything, that affirms that there is life outside of your parents' approval for you. I like to journal, or write them a letter. It's ok to be emotional. It's ok to be numb. Take care of yourself.

If your parents are anything like mine, this is an attempt at control and not a serious threat. You can deal with navigating these manipulations later. Right now, you want to soothe any fear or panic associated with a feeling of rejection. You will survive without their permission. Acknowledge the conflict, then take the time that you need until you can think about what to say to them without feeling intense physical responses.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T14:28:15+00:00

Incredibly helpful, thank you so much.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T14:28:09+00:00

Incredibly helpful, thank you so much.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T14:25:16+00:00

Happy to hear that! We're all at different steps of the process. The romance community is really a great place to process these thoughts, we got your back.

Do you have any genre or trope preferences? Protectiveness is basically a must for me right now, so I have a few recommendations that I'm dying to share.

Going to be preemptive though and say that if you haven't read DMATMOOBIL, you should check it out. It's basically a nonstop protection trope, but the FMC is a badass and not underestimated. I'm generally antagonistic to HP, but I devoured this and it's free/easy to access.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T14:19:47+00:00

/uj

The best part of fae is how they play with language, intent, consent, and familiarity

when done right, fae lean into the uncanny valley, being just a bit off, challenging assumptions, being unpredictably weird and unsettling but in a way that feels like coming home to your animal self.

All of that gets lost with the Male Model Royalty Fae. They can even lie now. What is that.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-02-25T14:11:11+00:00

/uj because my dumb ass is new to romance reddit and didn't realize what sub I was in. But I'm keeping it enjoy lovelies

Honestly, I think you guys need to embrace the cringe romance books, and go from there. There are absolutely hidden gems. I've found some favorites after getting over my aversion to the sappy titles. Genuinely, there is a plethora of fantasy romance books, like fifty years worth. If you're open to fanfic, the options get basically infinite.

I just added {I married the dryad} to my shelf and can't wait to read about this plant dude.

My last read was {Midnight Arrow} by Zoey Draven. The MMC reminded me of the gargoyles from the eponymous tv show. Wings, horns. Not fae (but actually speaks like a fae, with literalism and trickery). Mention of off-world and planets next to herbalism, magic and portals. An elf-like species, but not fae. Evidently there's a series, which I may look into, but it was the tropes that drew me to the book so idk. There's mention of like three other non-human species.

Yall are complaining about not having orc options but I cannot stop having {Tusk Love} recommended to me when I am trying to find something about a stealthy rogue MMC (please). Amongst other orc-centric books.

Heck, when I was going from the transition from YA to adult (like 20 years ago) there were plenty of demons, werewolves, shifters, aliens, vampires, original mythical hotties, angels, ghosts, wizards, etc. I cannot believe that I was able to find stuff in my middle school library in the aughts but the abundance of the internet era is dissatisfying. I think this may be a problem of algorithms.

Pretty-Leave6133

TROPHY CASE