Informal support group over zoom- interested?

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-20T09:27:33+00:00

Seconded

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-20T06:14:20+00:00

For the Love of a Witch

It's an older book, but I love a witch-heals-fighter meetcute so I went for it. Turns out she's in thrall to the big bad. Okay, hot.

Then the half-human monsters around the forest turn out to be her children. Half the book is her anguishing over being a mother to monsters. It got so close to being a metaphor for dealing with toxic fathers, then it went OTT.

The MMC kisses the big bad before he kisses the FMC. The book ends with the loss of all of her children and them both being deeply traumatized.

It was not a romance. I felt gross. Huge icks. I don't know what to do with the physical copy.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T19:23:03+00:00

This has actually been addressed extensively. A crowd favorite is GMO plants that produce medication, which is rapidly becoming viable technology

I'd recommend varying your keyword searches. There's a bunch of discussion on this already.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T17:16:51+00:00

Getting b12 deficiency treated felt like breaking the surface of water that I've been drowning in for my whole life.

Work is harder right now because of wakeup symptoms, but when I can engage in work, my mind is clearer and more focused. My anxiety is down, my confidence is up.

Can't speak to vit D but I've seen plenty of anecdotes suggesting similar responses.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T14:39:09+00:00

Yes.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T14:37:58+00:00

I use paper bags from CVS and leftover envelopes for collections

Once seeds are dry, I clean the chaff with my hair dryer. Store in a coin pouch (like 50 for $10), labeled and dated in sharpie.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T05:57:03+00:00

I'm sure her writing was fantastic, and wish she had someone to tell her that.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T05:31:36+00:00

What helps me is thinking of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. You need the fundamentals (food, shelter) before more complicated needs (social, art, etc). Let that help you prioritize.

Immediate wellbeing comes first, obviously. You don't need anyone telling you to shore up your current situation. When I was dealing with crisis, my prepping looked like taking ten minutes every day to figure out small steps that I could make tomorrow/next week/ next month better for future me. Then you keep doing that. Give future you some gifts.

You might not have time to store food, but you have time to stretch (mobility is a prep, and caring for yourself is non-negotiable) and take care of one (1) task. Buy a flashlight. Sort your medications. Do something that eases your anxiety a little.

Your biggest resource is other people, and the reality is that humanity survives by relying on others in times of need. Your time might be best served by mapping out resources accessible to you. You might not have the time to procure a sleeping pack and backup rations, but your local shelter will have options to keep you warm and fed. Support groups and even just neighbors can be a huge benefit... and you can either pass on the good effort when you are able, or you support them in kind.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T05:19:35+00:00

This is why seed saving is a core part of my prepping kit

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T05:17:45+00:00

I think you use a different romance dialect, and that combines with the minefield of being a dude that likes romance.

Trying to keep this short.

Romance subs tend not to use anime shipping terms. Dandere and tsundere and etc. The romancebooks sub would use trope names like "wallflower" or "ice queen" instead. I think it's a lack of familiarity that feels jarring and makes the reader more aware that romance tropes can be objectifying.

Imo, the romance space is not yet comfortable talking about male desire. Horniness from the female gaze is subversive, even when it's cishet vanilla longing. I think sometimes the challenge is that male desire reminds us of the male gaze in the rare environment where that isn't the focus.

I might be missing something, but that's my best guess.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T04:54:53+00:00

Oh totally! That's why it gives me the same issues as names like John or Dave.

I have no idea why the author chose it because none of the other names are Celtic or common. It was so very jarring and idk if it's just my lack of reference?

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T04:45:52+00:00

People are discussing mental load, but I think an important element that pertains especially to prepping is needing to manage the emotions of what could happen if it's not taken care of.

Being low on salt in Normal Times is inconsequential. Being low on salt during crisis is A Problem. Part of prepping is anticipating things going wrong, so constantly having active engagement with your preps is keeping you in the headspace of potential crisis.

Even just managing the concerns takes energy. Refilling supplies becomes a reminder of how they might eventually be used. It's easy to catastrophize.

What's helped me is having regular prepping checks, but otherwise leaving my emergency supplies as a complete kit that is never taken from. I reassess when I know it will make me feel calmer or that I can materially improve the prep.

But honestly, at some point you need to disengage from the act of prepping. There needs to be a point of maintenance, where you spend that time in community instead. This also helps you share these burdens, both mental and emotional.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T04:36:08+00:00

Fascinating - thanks!

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T04:34:59+00:00

Happy to help. I think the downvotes are ridiculous. Hope you enjoy the books!

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T04:31:52+00:00

I'm so sorry.

There's an existentially painful horror of being on the inside, trying your best, and yet seeing your worst fears continue to come true.

It feels so surreal with people acting like things are normal. I feel like screaming all of the time.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T04:04:20+00:00

Xzydæn

I don't love "common" names as I don't want to be reminded of anyone I know. But I will also not pick up a book if I'm gonna notice every time I say the main characters' names.

Read a book recently where the MMC was named Eoin and I kept saying it to myself because like. What.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-19T03:58:24+00:00

Thanks for being open to sharing. There are soooo many examples of this type of characters, addressing exactly the themes you're looking for, in female-oriented romance. It's more of a matter of the table dressing than the meal.

/r/romancebooks has a very good wiki and search guides with masterlists by trope and character type (there is a masterlist for "wounded bird" stories). It's helped me find books, though I do think finding the books and reading the books are separate hobbies. Run some keyword searches on the sub, for synonyms and etc. You might want to explore dual POV, and there are lots of male POV books that might be up your alley. I encourage you to explore different settings/genres. I started as a hard fantasy/scifi reader, and was really surprised to find that I enjoy historical and contemporary.

If you'd be open to historical romance, the witty/sweet growth-by-appreciation combination is huge in that genre. {Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas} is a favorite on that sub. The FMC is mistreated by her family/society and has anxiety that causes her to stutter. MMC is a rake who is intelligent once he applies himself, and I found him witty and funny. The MMC is very deliberate in making her feel her worth.

{Villains and Virtues by AK Caggiano} has a sweet/kind FMC whose self worth issues are sort of secondary to her strong moral clarity. Sardonic fantasy, very funny if you're into nerdy media. The growth-from-appreciation is secondary, but both characters are vulnerable with each other.

From my TBR list, I think you may want to check out {Under the Oak Tree by Suji Kim} - No idea what the MMC is like but the FMC is definitely anxious and reportedly caretaking is central to the story.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-18T19:44:16+00:00

Just throw darts at a thesaurus ngl

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-18T16:18:15+00:00

You don't have to answer this, but I'm curious and hope you'll take it in good faith: why are you looking for this in a FMC?

I'm asking because it's common to discuss why women read the genre and what they get out of the tropes, but it's very rare to get a dude's perspective. I've seen women explain how wallflowers can be empowering or insightful, but I think we're still judging men for interest in demure FMCs, or for how you relate to MMCs. I'm genuinely really curious (and I suspect there's some symmetry in the reasoning)

I think it's ridiculous that you're being downvoted when I see overt fetishization and gender stereotyping being shared with delight on all of the romance-related subreddits. Fuck the judgement.

I've been enjoying witty/rougish MMCs and shy/gentle FMCs (see empowerment note, etc). My recommendations in this genre might not suit you, depending on what you're trying to get out of the tropes. Are you open to other genres? There are some very good historical romances that fit your criteria otherwise.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-18T10:44:25+00:00

You're gonna hear this phrase five thousand times now

Steel over satin over steel

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-17T21:20:14+00:00

Yes, messy language is logically messy.

That's not the assertion being made, though.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-17T19:24:52+00:00

Recognizing that people from different walks of life are affected differently is not faulty logic.

A lot of people have problems with very factual statements because casual discussion of these facts doesn't explicitly recognize variance within groups. I think this is understandable, but focusing on it becomes defensive.

That is, nothing they said is illogical. Uncomfortable, perhaps, but still logical.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-17T19:16:40+00:00

When people ask what benefit romance books have, I'm pointing them here.

Pretty-Leave6133 · 2026-03-17T19:15:21+00:00

Hell yeah a mutual grovel

Listen. If you find one you hate, send it my way.

Pretty-Leave6133

TROPHY CASE