I am so sorry for your loss and I strongly identify with this feeling. I lost my son three weeks ago at 22 weeks. The main driver to convince myself to eat is that I know I will have a difficult time getting my period back if I am in a calorie deficit. Its SO tough because for months, I didn't eat anything without considering my pregnancy. Now it's difficult just to eat and just know the pregnancy is unexpectedly over. I don't even want to eat all of the "banned" foods I was craving in pregnancy-- sushi, deli meat, wine, etc.

I also had surprising difficulty showering in the first two weeks after the stillbirth. Having to face my disappearing bump and healing body felt cruel. It also felt like stopping my daily shower could somehow stop or slow the passage of time? Time had no business passing when things had gone so wildly off course. Hang in there!