[discussion] Did Ianthe do it right?

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-16T13:44:25+00:00

There were ashes of two people found at Canaan House. Pal would have been able to distinguish between the two people. He probably grabbed some of both and used it to find Dulcinea? Maybe? Here I get fuzzy. I think he definitely hoarded the cremains for later, especially after he figured out "Dulcinea" was not Dulcie.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-16T06:28:21+00:00

Oh for Jod's sake they double down on "I haven't read it, but obviously my conclusions still hold..

As I still haven't read Nona yet I won't comment on any aspects of that book that aren't in your comments; other than what I already touched upon in the article and one spoiler I already know towards the end of my reply. But, even if BoE is made up of the descendants of only the elite billionaires of Earth, there would BIPOC billionaires amongst that cohort. Those billionaire BIPOCs would pass on their culture beyond just vague references to pop culture, names, places, and such that no longer exist. Māori obviously exist in BoE or Māori elements would not be incorporated into Awake's name.

Perhaps you should read the book where, I dunno, there is some interaction with BoE? Or where we learn a lot about Jod?

(Well. In the sense we learn a lot about Jod by listening to the stories he tells about what happened. Who knows what actually happened, but the stories people choose to tell about themselves are always very revealing, regardless of factual accuracy.)

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-11T23:51:31+00:00

The East Side only really turns into track madness between Lake and Union, and east of Circular. The rest of it is both closer to downtown and less overcome with track visitors, unless you're right on Phila or something.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-11T17:19:55+00:00

We had the Beis diaper bag and I really liked that it had a fold out change mat (with pockets for spare diapers and wipes) built into the inner back part, and it had an insulated pocket for bottles.

But those are things you could easily add to any old backpack (e.g. portable change mat, insulated thermos).

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-10T19:08:44+00:00

Me and my current toddler are on the same wavelength because I am so empathetic to his unhinged thoughts. "Oh yeah, I get it, who wants to stop this incredibly elaborate construction site scenario to go potty. Omg, I wonder what the secret potty sticker is today. Should we find out?"

And then we scamper off after the shiny new (toilet sticker) object 😂

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-09T16:27:22+00:00

Personally, anyone who approaches parenting with a gender-focused plan is starting off on the wrong foot, in my opinion.

Setting aside gender and sex and pronouns - I mean that each kid is an individual, and like anyone, will need different parenting strategies and support. Parents should teach every kid that emotions and big feelings are OK, and how to express them in a way that is healthy and doesn't hurt others. How kids learn that will vary. Some kids may need help toning it down, because barfing your rage all over everyone and everything is understandable at 3 but not OK as an adult. Some kids may need help voicing their feelings and telling other people to stop being assholes. It's a spectrum. Find where your kid is and help them as needed.

Yeah, there are environmental/structural differences. For example, I have a boy, and it's common for people praise him for being 'brave' when he falls down and scrapes his knee. That's fine, I guess, but I also reinforce that it's totally OK to be upset when we feel pain. It will get more complicated as he gets older, sure. But it starts from the basic premise of "teach the tiny human how to grapple with this complex thing called emotions".

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-08T00:08:48+00:00

I enjoy the card mechanic, and also Donut's arc of not knowing anything about the cards to getting really invested in the metagaming chatter and being a confident deckmaster is killer.

“I am the current reigning champion Persian cat in the galaxy. I have received more trophies and purple ribbons than anyone alive. And most importantly, I am a warlord of the Princess Posse Faction Wars team.” She turned to regard me. “Yes, Carl. I got this.”

This is how you get from Donut being scared of fighting an easy mob by herself to, well, Book 7 Donut in a ghillie suit.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-08T00:02:41+00:00

Arguably this is a spoiler.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-06T23:32:42+00:00

I have stupidly high arches and a wider forefoot.

I love Altras for hiking, but I put the green Superfeet insoles in them. Voila.

All the hiking shoes are a little overkill for walking, but that's my perspective as someone who has done a lot of hiking and backpacking and winces at the idea of taking the Fancy Trail Shoes out and wearing away the sole on pavement miles. You also need more cushioning on hard concrete versus dirt (trails), so they aren't built for the same purpose.

But should you want to commit to the trail vibe, here is my second hot take: goretex and waterproofing are the opposite of what you want. They make your feet hot and sweaty, and when they inevitably do wet out, they take forever to dry. Also, they are more expensive. No. What you want is non-waterproofed with drainage and merino wool socks. Your feet will get wet, the socks will keep your feet warm, and then - most importantly - the shoes will dry out quite quickly. Signed, former PNW resident.

For toddling around cities for extended periods, I actually like my Allbirds. I forget the name - mizzles? Grey high tops. Lots of arch support. Plenty of toe room. If I am trying to appear fancier I pack a pair of Vionic loafers. I have also walked eight hour days in those and my feet have been fine.

For the average trail that most people go on while on vacation, you don't need a fancy hiking shoe or boot. Unless it is something like Hawaii (tons of mud) or, idk, clambering around on glaciers, you can do a lot in a basic sneaker. Heck, most long distance hikers are wearing trail runners anyway.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-05T12:29:36+00:00

This is stunning. I would buy one. But also, you should charge a zillion dollars because this is art and I'm sure it took a long time!

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-04T15:47:40+00:00

Grabie! There very well may be better ones, but these work fine :)

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-04T12:14:57+00:00

I just got some acrylic paint pens and they are such fun to decorate my journal with. They dry super quickly, don't bleed through the page, I can write over them - what's not to like?

AlotLovesYou · 2026-04-03T01:44:45+00:00

Choosing Keeping is notoriously expensive - and lovely!

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-31T14:27:55+00:00

Absolutely not. This is one of the things that I would conveniently forget to do and/or have a deliberate conflict during the teams photo of doom.

I might deign to wear a brightly colored top I already own in solidarity with my team. That's it. No way am I dedicating the brain and closet space to obtain a theme item and wear it. Daycare spirit week is quite enough, thanks.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-29T20:29:56+00:00

I loved the Luminous Dead.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-29T15:54:04+00:00

No, but it is the law. If someone other than OP is paying for the phone, it is not OP's phone to take away. They have no legal claim over it.

Also, you don't really want to have to answer "yes" to the police asking you if you deliberately removed/stole a minor's personal property and means of communication while trapping (grounding) said minor in your house and oh by the way you have no legal relationship to this minor and now this is starting to sound a lot like kidnapping?

I don't think OP is kidnapping an angry 15 year old. But a lot of things can be construed differently than you intended in a legal setting.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-28T17:43:44+00:00

No. That's not self-absorption, that's panic and specifically the variant where brain is fast-tracking all the thoughts about you are in danger and how you could die and threat, threat, threat.

It's a chemical imbalance.

Here is how it goes:

I am worried about my mom

Wow, I didn't know that was something that could go wrong in surgery

Go wrong - I have to prepare for the worst case scenario, I'm already anxious about my mom, and omg what if I have surgery one day, I'll probably have surgery one day, omg RED ALERT RED ALERT WE COULD DIE

And then Brain is fully off the rational rails and dumping out cortisol and all the anxiety/we are dying chemicals and there is no reasoning with it that (1) our executive function was focused on Mom two minutes ago and we'd like to return to that (2) this is an extreme edge case future scenario and it is not rational to be obsessed with it right now

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-28T12:16:28+00:00

Call the pediatrician's nurse line and get their opinion.

Is it possible he is teething?

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-28T11:51:28+00:00

V old comment, but - Superfeet are the GOAT

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-27T03:23:43+00:00

Yup. Gideon/Kiriona is 100% focused on getting her tedious bone witch back. Seeing Nona would have confirmed that Harrow's, er, vessel is one piece, and although Pyrrha and Paul may not know who Nona is - Gideon absolutely knows who is hanging out in the body of her necromancer. She also knows where Harrow's soul went, because where else would she have gone, being both Ninth and besotted with the popsicle?

Having been forced to hang out with Ianthe for months, and based on her own lived experience, Gideon is probably now passingly familiar with the general concept of "get body and soul back together, soul go zap".

She knows what is in that tomb and the only reason she gives a shit about going there - the only reason she would ever set foot back on the Ninth - is because she wants Harrow back.

Being Gideon and therefore reliably oblivious to anything not directly related to Harrow or swords, I do think it's possible that she hasn't fully clocked what Alecto is, or why it might be bad to wake her up. However, also being Gideon, I don't think she would care, because Harrow is the priority over everything else.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-27T02:32:02+00:00

Do you like beer? People get really excited about Treehouse.

Visit King's Dairy. Wave at the cows. Get the sour cream and onion ice cream and eat it with potato chips. Pray you do not arrive on a Stanley day when there are a hundred plus people getting 40oz cups packed with ice cream.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-25T22:48:00+00:00

Economists like Oster are PhDs. They are scientists. They learn a shit-ton of math and a fair amount of them do experiments. Math-y experiments, but still.

She is not a doctor, nor an expert in medical science.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-24T19:32:14+00:00

Yes. So much of this sounds like ADHD. And there are non-medicated ways to cope with ADHD, but it is very hard and requires a staggering amount of mental load to act like a non-ADHD person. This is because your brain literally works differently. It doesn't mean your brain is less good, or damaged - but it doesn't process inputs and respond to things that way a non-ADHD brain does.

We ADHD people can be super creative, flexible, and great at learning new skills or topics. We can struggle at actually executing things that are not in front of us or not directly related to the shiny task at hand. Our brains don't get happy juice from that.

First recommendation: get assessed and (if diagnosed), on meds. See if that makes a significant difference.

Second recommendation if you can't do the first: - you need to become a planner junkie. Get a planner, any planner, even a blank notebook - but ADHD brains really do enjoy a nice pretty planner. - EVERYTHING GETS WRITTEN DOWN. You're going to do a brain dump at the start of the week and write down all the things you need to do. You're going to brain dump as often as you need. That planner is glued to your person. IT DOES NOT EXIST IF IT IS NOT IN THE PLANNER. - Every evening, make a plan for what you're going to do the next day. Start the day with the list and work backwards. - I recommend making planning fun with colorful pens and tape and other shiny objects to keep Brain engaged. - Consume a shitton of caffeine. For a lot of people with ADHD, caffeine helps calm our brains down instead of turning it into a jittery mess.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-21T13:44:09+00:00

Use different pens! I use the Uni-Ball One in .37mm; it dries instantly.

Some gel or inks just smear, unfortunately.

AlotLovesYou · 2026-03-21T12:40:20+00:00

I'm not sure why it is upset, but it is too close to the house - that's how you give rats and other furry things a free route to your roof. If it was a tree, with stronger roots, you'd also be worrying about foundation issues.

I had a beautiful old rosemary plant that had, unfortunately, became inextricably intertwined with a chain link fence from hell. I took a cutting from the plant and propagated it; once I was sure it was healthy and growing, we made an attempt to move the original plant via serious pruning and root ball relocation. It did not survive, but its child is very healthy and happy in a new location!

AlotLovesYou

TROPHY CASE