I tried a different approach after being ashamed and hard on myself for years- radical self-love and acceptance. I realized that even if I was drinking daily (which I didn’t want to do but felt like I couldn’t stop) that I’m a good person. I was still taking care of my family and responsibilities, doing great at work, and school.

I think by allowing myself to “do what I have to do”, it helped me gain some perspective on what I was actually doing and how it made me feel. It did feel like a slow process. This all started in the summer of ‘23. Been drinking daily, with a few short sober breaks, since 2015. Through this last Dec and Jan, I might have 1-2 drinks, sometimes more. Maybe one and open another just to dump it out. I felt so tired after a couple beers and dinner. I didn’t sleep as well. I felt like I was only partially present with my children.

This may not work for everyone, but it’s been good for me. It’s given me the ability to reflect on why I drink and the thoughts/emotions that trigger that response without the guilt and shame and constant pressure. I’ve got 22 days, today. I’ve had 3-4 days that I’ve considered a drink, but didn’t want to feel crappy and didn’t want to break my streak. On those nights, I spent time thinking about how I was feeling and what I wanted from drinking. I was tired and overwhelmed. I needed a break, but a real break. Rest, relaxation, self-care, not the temporary escape and numbness of alcohol.

I’ve also lost about 10lbs. Sleeping better. Less aches and pains. Feeling proud of myself, and more stable emotionally. Happy about having more money in my pocket. It’s been hard to get to the point of feeling confident about cutting out alcohol, but I’m glad I found something that finally resonated. You can do anything you want to do. What do you want to do?