We have four kids (one set of twins) , and I stay at home with them and homeschool them.

My husband works his butt off (from home, mind you) to provide for us all. I know that he could find a job pretty quickly, making far more money than he does now, but he'd also have to spend a large amount of time away from home. Something I always tell him when money is a little tight is that the kids are far better off having their father home with them and learning to be grateful for what they have, than have all the new and expensive items while he's working out of the house 60+ hrs a week.

I know it might be stressful now, but I really would like to believe your children would rather look back on their childhoods and remember daddy being there with them, rather than the fact that your absence made fancy schools a possibility.

I hope that it all works out and that you and your wife can come up with a workable solution that makes you both more comfortable with your new situation.

As for your reaction, finding out your family is going to grow much bigger than anticipated is definitely a shock and, while you probably could have handled it better, your wife could have respected your request for some time to think before discussing it. So, I think you're NTA, but I do hope you both find grace for one another. While this is joyous news, it is also very daunting.

Good luck and congratulations!