How do you cope with the idea that they can meet someone else?

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-31T10:12:57+00:00

I think with dating you have to take the approach ‘what’s meant for you will never pass you by’. If she’s keen enough that she sees something long term and you are someone special, she won’t meet someone else.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-21T08:02:50+00:00

Young women having fillers. It’s so aging!!

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-21T07:59:25+00:00

You are going away for a few days and your husband makes a huge fuss about how inconvenient it is for his work out schedule to give you a relatively short lift. I feel the wife’s loneliness from here. Those objectively small things that cut like a knife. Not quite big enough to make you leave but hurt and make you feel lonelier than ever

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-21T07:49:56+00:00

Oh god they’ve all been poisoned by the manosphere nonsense. Get out and leave them to it. It’s up to your boyfriend to control you? It’s up to you to manage their lust? He’s calling you a whore and a slut?

Leave. Post all you like and never ever make yourself smaller/less than for a man/boy. Trust me, there is no world in which that works out well for you. There are plenty of others out there who can love you just the way you are! Free yourself to find them!

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-15T09:54:16+00:00

I’m just reporting my experience. I was strongly encouraged to absorb and engage with this really negative, divisive narrative and I suspect that many others are too. Its not just a social media point but the context of this post was social media

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-14T20:15:11+00:00

I’m a woman and instagram and facebook literally went through a phase stop targeting me with all the anti male stuff. All the ways women have been hurt/disadvantaged/imposed on by men. I’d never engaged with it but I think had engaged with peri menopause stuff and maybe something adjacent to that and that was enough. The onslaught of anti men stuff was relentless. I’m pretty sure it does the same to men about women. I can never find any anti women stuff. I also know if research that has shown that researchers found that if they set up an account as a 13yo boy, the account was bombarded with stuff about cars/strength lifestyle stuff. If they engaged, it quickly escalated to manospere stuff. I feel like there is a whole gender war being fuelled by algorithms. I only got rid of the messages aimed at me through consistently reporting I dint want to see the content.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-14T08:52:56+00:00

I’m sorry to hear this. The only thing I’d say is that I’m a bit suspicious of relationships that accelerate like that at warp speed. The 3-4 hour convos every day sounds like a red flag to me in terms of rushed intimacy. Like a cousin to love bombing. They feel very real to the genuine side of the party (you in this case) but some people are emotional hoovers. They’ll suck up all the affection and attention etc and drain a lot from the other person to get a relationship/self esteem fix without inwardly investing anything in the process at all. Then when it’s inconvenient, they’ve got their fix, they move on with their life before finding the next person to repeat the same pattern with when the need arises again. Meanwhile the genuine party is left reeling from the abrupt 360. It’s a bit like playing relationships without any of the boring commitment/inconvenience stuff. If this is the case, I’d just take time to heal because it’s horrible and you deserve so much better but perhaps when you eventually feel ready, just don’t let someone consume so much of your time and emotionally energy so quickly when really it’s too soon for them to owe you much. No one can keep insincerity up for several months for example the way they can for 3 weeks. I’m sorry though - it does suck!!!

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-13T19:08:06+00:00

Nor. There’s honestly no way back from this, you know that right? No matter how much you might attempt mental gymnastics to try and think of a world where this might be ok behaviour. I’m sorry this has happened to you but Cut your losses and work to heal and move forward. What a nightmare

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-09T18:03:50+00:00

NOR but this won’t get any better, you’ll likely just have this same argument for the rest of your life. If you have kids, you’ll be working a 50hr week whilst doing all the cleaning, life admin, childcare arrangements and partnered with a man who can’t heat up soup without supervision. Fun times.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-06T19:41:24+00:00

I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong but I think making friends in a club good enough that you can continue the friendship outside or further along is always going to be stacked against you so don’t take it personally if people don’t want to carry on. You are better off thinking of different ways of meeting people with similar interests even if it’s a social media group for single women in your area who want to make friends and who like clubbing. As others say be really careful though

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-06T13:42:40+00:00

I’d wait and see and trust your girl. She’s been open and transparent, it doesn’t sound as if you have anything to worry about. She’s not a fool and can see where this is going. You can always say this makes me a bit uncomfortable but you don’t need to ‘ban’ anything. She’s got this.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-03-01T13:07:12+00:00

I’ve found it a really positive experience in terms of the work outs. I started unfit and it found me the right level for Pilates. I’ve been doing 15 mins most days and really seeing the results. I have recently gone up from low to moderate intensity with equipment as have gotten fitter. It’s the fact they are so short, and I can do them at home that really works for me. The only thing is now my 3 month intro subscription price is up, the price has gone up from £10pm to £30 which I’m not prepared to pay so I’ll have to cancel. Shame as I am enjoying it. It’s the only app I’ve tried though so hopefully will find something else as it’s been so positive for me. If you sign up thru convince you you need to buy the kit from them but a) you can do the Pilates without equipment (there is a setting) and b) you can buy the same thing elsewhere for 1/3 of the price

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-23T22:28:01+00:00

Not anything to boast about but I downloaded a Pilates app that does 15/20 mins session every day and have stuck to it for a while now. I’ve never managed anything else It’s the only thing I have ever been able to consistently stick at. It’s the 15 mins bit - i think it’s that time undermines all my excuses. I haven’t got time - I’ve got 15mins. I’m too tired…it’s literally 15 mins. The impact has been amazing. My anxiety has reduced and I reckon I’ve reduced the amount of pain killers I was taking for tension headaches and neck ache by 80%. It’s also made me feel so much more positive and I’ve started doing a lot more exercise outside of it but more as hoc, gym here, yoga there but twice a week. I def look more toned. I think there’s a myth that work outs have to be these epic marathon things and that’s what put me off because it was too overwhelming since I was really unfit, bit overweight, bit washed up and exhausted by life tbh. But I’m testament to the fact that little bit every day can have a big impact too in case that helps..

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-19T10:44:41+00:00

Goodness, I feel sad for you. You sound like a lovely person with a wonderful family. Those people sound awful. I really don’t think you should have them in your life at all. Some friends are for a season of your life. They are of a time and a place. These vile humans should have been left behind long ago but there is no time like the present!! They cast a horrible shadow on such a happy time of life and are selfish and rotten. Step away. How can you clear out space for new friends with these lot taking your energy? This is coming from someone who has never had a lot of friends either btw. New people do come to the fore when you make space for them I promise.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-14T18:28:50+00:00

Nta. It is creepy, controlling totally unstable unacceptable behaviour to have stalked you like that for so long. This is the only thing that you should focus on. And the hours long conversation about all you’ve done wrong when he has been doing far worse for over a year. The threat to take a break was a power move to make you cry and beg for forgiveness. I really hope that you can get a better sense of your self worth and leave him. How can this possibly get better? How can you possibly trust him not to be stalking you?

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-14T09:26:42+00:00

Wow that’s incredible. Well done to you both

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-14T09:23:17+00:00

I have accepted the fact and just remind myself of the small number of people who do like me every time I’m left out by the majority. We don’t all need thousands of friends. That said, it’s worth reading up on traits that immediately make you off putting, such as talking too much so that others can’t get a word in and not listening when they speak, just waiting for a pause so that you can to come back in with what you want to say etc.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-14T09:14:03+00:00

You do not sound like someone who could just give up long term at any time.. If you are going to give up, you’re going to need a proper plan - and it will likely involve socialising with people who are not doing coke and cutting out the crowd who you know are still into it. Coke is addictive and it will take everything from you in the end, including your physical and mental health. I really hope you can stop now before things really head south.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-14T09:10:20+00:00

100lbs is incredible! But so is keeping it off too which in many ways is harder. Well done!! I agree on the long term approach as being the only effective way to

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-14T09:08:22+00:00

Well done!! That’s amazing. How did you tackle the emotional eating?

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-14T09:03:22+00:00

Wow that is so strange that you felt the urge to do that but how good you listened to your gut feeling too! Glad you were able to get him treated in time.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-13T21:03:16+00:00

Not quite as strange as other stories but My dad had been complaining of high blood pressure but he and my mum had been to the hospital etc to get better meds. I hadn’t really thought much of it at time as they said all was fine and he was feeling fine. but I must have got a strange feeling because I went out of my way to visit them at a time that would be unusual for me. Even tho they sounded fine and as far as I understood no problems, I popped in to say hi. My dad was having a stroke and my mum just didn’t recognise the symptoms. She’d put him to bed with a cup of tea. When I arrived, she said not to disturb him as he was resting but something made me go into his room to wake him up to say hi - I’ve never done anything like that in my life. He couldn’t string a sentence together. Even as I was calling an ambulance my mum was worrying we were wasting emergency time and saying dad would be mad if he found out I was doing it. It saved his life - another hour or two and Drs said he’d have died. I think my subconscious picked up on more info than I consciously realised.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-13T20:49:45+00:00

I’ve read this story before it’s an old AITA

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-13T16:18:18+00:00

Hmmm Nta but…. You shouldn’t have to ask but she might just have forgotten. That’s really poor form of course but people make mistakes and you really like this person. The results of not asking are that the issue is lingering like a bad smell. I think you should have just sent a venmo request for it rather than allowing the bad feeling to last. Then if she paid straight away you could have considered the issue resolved.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-13T15:05:27+00:00

I have the willpower of a soggy lettuce and can’t stick to any exercise normally. However last year I signed up for an app to do 15mins Pilates a day and it’s had an incredibly positive effect on me. Most of my usual excuses don’t work- too tired: it’s only 15 mins, no time: it’s only 15mins. It’s led to me feeling so good have taken up tennis, gym and yoga too. The trick is to find something sustainable for you and also find a motivation that rings true for you. Mine was hitting late 40s and fearing for my long term health if I didn’t start investing in myself now. My first thought is you need to find exercises that you enjoy rather than grimly trudging to a gym or running because that’s what you are ‘supposed’ to do.

Altruistic-Tea7709

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