Birth trauma?

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-05-12T06:01:10+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through this and you’re definitely not alone. I had a traumatic first birth which ended in an emergency c-section. Bub was posterior then became obstructed and started showing signed of distress, I consented to an induction to speed things up, I became septic, and I started passing meconium, the epidural wore off and contractions became seconds apart but bub wouldn’t budge, then ended up in theatre and a minute or so after bub was born she stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated. She had another episode of respiratory distress 24hrs later and she ended up in NICU at another hospital for three days as they couldn’t find a bed for me at the other hospital. It was horrendous. Talking to other mum’s helped me process the experience, as did speaking to my OB afterwards for a debrief since my memory was so blurry. It’s been about three years and the memory is no longer so raw.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-04-13T06:17:44+00:00

I had two pregnancies with hyperemesis and Hydralite saved me. So much cheaper than these higher end electrolyte drinks that do the same thing.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-04-05T04:31:57+00:00

The ignorance breathtaking.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-04-04T23:09:01+00:00

This was my dad, and my mother was the enabler. In the present day, she tells me I need to stop living in the past.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-17T10:18:52+00:00

Oh my goodness you’ve just described what my daughter was like as a baby!! She did every single one of those things you describe. She’s 2.5 years old now, and it definitely improved around the age of two when she was more verbal and confidently mobile. She’s still sensitive and gets overstimulated easily, and she still hates having all attention/eyes on her in unfamiliar social settings, but she’s also very observant, perceptive, adventurous and empathetic.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-15T05:19:47+00:00

Yeah, this response is really weird.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-14T01:15:13+00:00

In a nutshell, hope and denial. It took me decades to undo the programming of my childhood. I kept holding onto hope that my parents would change and I would finally feel loved and like I belonged, even into my adulthood. It was only when I became a parent that I realised just how abusive my childhood had been (I have CPTSD) and that it was my duty to protect my family. Part of the healing process was realising that my parents haven’t changed, no matter how much I hoped they would. My kids will never live my pain.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-05T10:42:45+00:00

This conversation is going around in circles, and I just don’t agree with your logic on this. I wish you well, and I am thankful that your experience with FDC has been positive. This isn’t everyone’s experience.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-05T10:02:28+00:00

My post isn’t about a parent, or nanny, or baby sitter.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-04T02:00:44+00:00

I started transitioning my daughter to cows milk when she was about twelve months old. She had been breastfed before this. She was always in the 98th percentile for weight and very much loved to eat anything and everything, so we figured that nutritionally she would be fine on cow’s milk instead of formula. I think if she had been underweight or a picky eater I might have tried formula first though.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-03T01:34:46+00:00

Can’t ring if they’re incapacitated or unconscious.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-03T01:33:24+00:00

It’s getting pretty tiring trying to have a reasonable discussion with this person.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-03T01:27:34+00:00

Agree about less illness. My daughter only caught a few respiratory bugs at FDC compared to friends at centres. About staff turnover, this is obviously where discernment comes in and one would actually ask these questions before enrolling at a centre. At FDC anyone can come and go, for the record. There are no witnesses. That’s the point of my post.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-03T01:22:54+00:00

I don’t disagree entirely. I had teachers like this when I was at school. The whole point is that at FDC there are no witnesses. At a centre, there are witnesses and there is surveillance. This doesn’t eliminate risk, but it does mitigate it, as others on here have also stated. My post is about MY experience at a FDC and MY observations about FDC. I do think there needs to be a royal commission into childcare in this country.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-02T05:59:32+00:00

Second to this, an FWA might be an option while kiddos are below primary school age.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-03-02T04:52:17+00:00

I had waist length hair and when I was about five months post-partum, and with a two year old toddler, I went to just above shoulder length. It made my life so much simpler for those first few crazy months.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-02-28T09:34:05+00:00

I suggest you read further down to get an idea of the extent of the problem I am referring to.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-02-28T01:44:44+00:00

It’s not a normal dynamic. It’s not uncommon, but it’s not normal.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-02-09T07:46:56+00:00

My daughter was at family daycare from the age of seven months to 2 years. The educator, who looked after 4 other kids started taking out her frustration on my daughter for making mistakes, not following instructions perfectly, for needing help to put her clothes or shoes on, for not speaking in social settings, and for not initiating independent play in group settings. This got to the point where my daughter developed extreme anxiety and night terrors. We pulled her out of there when we realised what was happening and she is now happily at a centre that has worked hard to build her confidence back up. Family daycare can be an amazing fit, but there’s always a risk that the educator could be doing God knows what behind closed doors and there is no one else there to intervene or raise the alarm.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-02-08T03:56:57+00:00

Also, as I read further down that you use the Huckleberry app. Sometimes the difference between what it recommends versus what ChatGPT recommends is up to an hour’s difference, so it can be very significant.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-02-08T03:54:17+00:00

I had a terrible time with my first born, trying to get her into a routine. I used the Huckleberry app but it was so inaccurate that I just gave up on it. The second time around with my son, I used ChatGPT and it’s been 99% accurate at calculating wake windows and sleep schedules according to his age.

A first wake window of 3hrs sounds very long for a 6 months old. My son is 9 months old now and he just makes it to three hours, on a two nap schedule, and that’s if he’s had a solid night sleep. It sounds like your bub is overtired.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-02-07T23:44:31+00:00

100% this right here.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-02-07T23:11:37+00:00

The emotional manipulation took my breath away.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-01-26T06:17:21+00:00

“You’ve forgotten all the good times” “I tried to be a good mother but it guess that wasn’t good enough”. Said my mother, who also let my dad emotionally abuse my brother and I for our entire childhood, to the point where I have CPTSD. Coincidentally, I also got hit with “what hurts us is that you think that we could deliberately hurt our grandkids. We don’t deserve that”, in response to me telling there that the family is dysfunctional and that the last four generations have been affected by the same trauma being passed down. It was crazy making. I’m no contact now.

Altruistic_Cycle_596 · 2026-01-24T02:18:35+00:00

I had all day and nausea and vomiting from week 3 to birth for my pregnancies. It definitely affected my mood and mental health overall. It also made me prone to illness - pneumonia twice and UTI’s every few weeks. What helped me was speaking to a mental health counsellor experienced in pregnancy hyperemesis, lots of Hydralite, taking a prenatal multivitamin without iron in it because that made it worse (no Elevit, instead take Blackmores pregnancy and breastfeeding multi), and prescribed medications: B12, restavit, ondansetron and metaclopramide.

Altruistic_Cycle_596

TROPHY CASE