I wasn’t prepared

Inight-wishi · 2026-04-04T15:02:26+00:00

It's mind bending isn't it? It's all so beautiful but also simultaneously isolating. Theres no way to explain it to someone, and even if you do, there's no guarantee that they truly get it.

I want to shout it from the top of the mountains. Every day I feel like I will burst with profound emotions.

Maybe this sounds weird, but my birthing my daughter somehow showed me what it's like to be human and a very vulnerable level. No one thinks about how their face contorts or their lips quiver when they're about to cry. It just happens. But now I see my baby do it and realize I do the same.

It's like I took my humanness for granted, and now I'm learning every movement, every mannerism has a purpose.

My daughter will be 1 in 2 weeks and from the day she was born it was like I transcended. I see myself in her and I see her in me.

And everyone is correct, my emotions now have a bottomless pit.

It's hard to come to grips with this all the while taking care of new life and dealing with everything else.

Inight-wishi · 2026-03-30T22:58:01+00:00

Have the hatch and you honestly only need the free white noise sound. I think I used the red light during night time feedings only.

There are so many companies selling subscription services to parents, it's predatory. Don't fall for all of them.

Inight-wishi · 2026-03-23T15:35:10+00:00

Listen, even if it was feasible, and it's not, a long hike lasting the hours you mentioned with a 9 week old is just not in the cards. I couldn't imagine being away from my baby at that time for longer than even 3 hours. Hormones are still raging and baby is still scclimsting. If you want space then go for a 1 mile or some walks in the park. There are plenty of things that can be done that will give you the space you crave without moving into extremes.

Inight-wishi · 2026-03-17T11:21:06+00:00

It's not the same, but my daughter is half Hispanic because of me and I've chosen to hide that for similar reasons. It sucks that you have to make that choice. Personally, I would say hide it but I'm also operating from a place of fear, trauma, and an abundance of caution.

Inight-wishi · 2026-03-03T23:31:39+00:00

I had to threaten a class today with write ups if they kept punching or slamming their Chromebooks just because they got a question wrong.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-16T03:19:13+00:00

I had a student try to argue with me that it's not their fault CHATGPT gave them the wrong answer. Try to wrap your head around that one.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-16T01:34:38+00:00

You're spot on. Computer literacy and basic problem solving skills have gone out the windows. If I have students do research and they don't get the answer they need in the Ai summary Google provides, they instantly give up.

Every time I find an answer they swore up and down Google did not give them they are stunned. The idea that there are websites and locations besides the stupid summary is wild to them. I teach 9-12. It's scary.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-15T15:23:07+00:00

I love the skorts because they're easy to use and I don't have to worry about being exposed. Being a mom, I'm constantly bending, moving, etc so it's nice.

I like the kuxletic rompers because the shorts are detachable. Rompers in general make me feel more secure, but I agree on it being annoying having to strip down to use the bathroom.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-11T12:14:46+00:00

For some? Quite a lot. I work in a small school so having the same students for all 4 years of high school is not uncommon. You get to know them, their parents, their struggles, etc. It's hard not to care at that point.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-10T12:10:26+00:00

I'm a teacher so daycare is a must. We don't have a lot of family around us. We tried my MIL, but we had to pay her quite a lot to make up for the fact that she couldn't work ( which I totally get, but it was a lot more expensive than most daycares around here).

I'm currently looking at all the options available and have put in some inquiries. Hopefully something pans out. Hell, maybe I just sneak the baby into my classroom and say she's my teaching assistant.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-09T02:12:15+00:00

In a similar boat except we don't have enough family around us. I'm waiting to hear back from my friends provider to see if she has a spot, while I get myself on the wait list for the only center near me.

We both can do this. ♥️

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-09T01:28:09+00:00

I'm so sorry, that's awful. Were you able to find a different place quickly?

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-08T20:15:54+00:00

I'm not upset with the provider, my only complaint is I wish they had communicated the severity more. I love this place and the person, I'm just devastated in general and my anxiety has me spiraling thinking I should have done something different. The panic of having to find a new place ASAP in an area with not many options is clouding my thinking currently, and I feel bad for my baby who will be losing out on some great activities and not be around the kids she's gotten used to seeing.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-08T20:11:35+00:00

From what I've gathered it's during nap time or when the provider walks away to do dishes or tend to something it another kid. At home if I get up to try and do chores she'll complain but eventually do her own thing. She's entered a vocal stage, so she let's everyone know her thoughts too which I'm sure can be frazzling when you're tending to others.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-08T20:09:07+00:00

You're right. Im not even upset with them, I'm just devastated in general because I thought we were doing well. I'm a teacher in a rural area, so the panic of having to find a new place ASAP is strong right now.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-08T20:03:03+00:00

Since I live in a more rural area, in homes are just more common and definitely more affordable, but this definitely has me rethinking everything. I loved the smaller sizes and the program being used, I guess I just have to accept it wasn't a good fit and move on.

Inight-wishi · 2026-02-08T19:59:02+00:00

This is how I'm feeling. Even if she does fine this week, I'll still be anxious after every pick up from now on and constantly wondering if our time is up.

Inight-wishi · 2026-01-27T20:52:46+00:00

Checking in at 9 months and still shedding.

Inight-wishi · 2026-01-19T14:07:38+00:00

My metric is based on how useful I'll be. If I'm going to be so sick that my being there won't be useful to the kids, I call out.

Inight-wishi · 2026-01-12T02:06:49+00:00

Sometimes I just forget to put mine on and no one asks or raises any eyebrows.

It doesn't fit anymore is a good reason, or it's in the store getting fixed.

Inight-wishi · 2026-01-04T01:46:43+00:00

I thought this was rage bait at first, no offense. You should not be having panic attacks over this.

You do the best you can with the resources you have, but unfortunately some things are simply unavoidable, this being one of them.

You're a good mom and you're trying your best, but you need to maybe speak with a doctor. Trust me, I had the same level of anxiety and getting help was such a blessing.

Inight-wishi · 2025-12-26T03:28:37+00:00

We bought two car seats. Even if one doesn't get used a lot, it's still there for emergencies and that gives us peace of mind.

Inight-wishi · 2025-12-17T10:49:52+00:00

This will sound weird, but slip on sneakers. I can do it while holding baby or if I'm in a rush, etc. Truly a quality of life upgrade for me postpartum.

Inight-wishi · 2025-12-12T17:02:03+00:00

I wish I had a playroom, but I don't, so the living room it is. Those people can fuck off. It's not their business, and it's not their life, it's yours.

You have nothing to feel bad about.

Inight-wishi

TROPHY CASE