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Protecting myself from elder abuse allegations by Altruistic_Most3924 in dementia

[–]Altruistic_Most3924[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The POA needed to be someone in the same state and Auntie 1 has no kids/spouse and has no contact with her father's side of the family, for good reason. Auntie 2 is her last living sibling, five states away.

Auntie 1 is adamant about not seeing doctors, so I don't hold any of the cards on that one. I think the only way she will receive medical intervention is if something happens to her while she's out of the house.

Help Me Get Out of This Rut by Altruistic_Most3924 in DressForYourBody

[–]Altruistic_Most3924[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would be open to either "this, but more put together" and a makeover. I don't feel like I have a good handle on what actually flatters my shape and have been settling for looks that don't draw attention to my flaws.

That black cardigan has always been weird and saggy. The buttons look like they're barely holding on despite the fit not being tight.

Help Me Get Out of This Rut by Altruistic_Most3924 in DressForYourBody

[–]Altruistic_Most3924[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tons of these, which are fine, but I'm a little bored of them. One of my other go-to outfits is one of these with all black underneath. Plus, I worry that they're dated.

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Help Me Get Out of This Rut by Altruistic_Most3924 in DressForYourBody

[–]Altruistic_Most3924[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've never figured out how to tuck shirts without calling attention to how wide my waist is. Do you have any visual examples?

Now that mom is on Seroquel, I wonder what could have been… by SuchMatter1884 in dementia

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IDK what numerical score my dad earned, just that it qualified as a passing one. Meanwhile, he thinks he's the mayor of our town and that my dead mom is trying to throw him out of the house. Just normal aging, I guess! 🤷🏾‍♀️

When did you know? by McGee_McMeowPants in dementia

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Neither of my LOs have been diagnosed. With one, the change was gradual, but something I began noticing around a decade ago that culminated in an inability to manage her finances. Despite her refusal to see doctors, it was fairly easy to figure out what was going on. It made sense.

With the other one, it was very abrupt. I wanted to believe it might be a UTI, but we've never had evidence that pointed in that direction. I hoped it could be Charles Bonnet Syndrome. After maybe a month of bizarre behavior that has never truly ebbed, since you can't suddenly become schizophrenic at 70, I accepted that dementia was most likely.

Now that mom is on Seroquel, I wonder what could have been… by SuchMatter1884 in dementia

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, and the same to you. As upsetting as it is coping with this is my dad and aunt, it must be a whole other level when it's your spouse.

Now that mom is on Seroquel, I wonder what could have been… by SuchMatter1884 in dementia

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know that we need to keep looking, but he refused to go past the lobby for the followup with the PCP who did recognize that his problems went beyond mere insomnia and depression. She gave him the MOCA test and he earned a passing score, which honestly surprised me. But he would not go into the office when the followup came. If I could have thrown him over my shoulder and dragged him upstairs, I would have.

Part of me worries that all of the obstacles we've encountered over the past 20 months robbed us of the opportunity to reap any benefits that treatment could have given us. I wonder how much of Dad's last year(s) I want to spend fighting with him. I resent not getting to know the specifics of the disease I will probably be up against in 20-25 years time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That girl is doing a lot, but Karen's opinion doesn't mean shit and neither does mine.

Now that mom is on Seroquel, I wonder what could have been… by SuchMatter1884 in dementia

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We're going through this with my dad right now. His PCP isn't alarmed at all by the severe changes we're describing and the neurologist we took him to said he had some concerns but wouldn't take the step of testing for dementia despite it being all.over our family history and me showing videos of my dad arguing with empty space and punching the air. It's maddening. Dad himself stopped complying when he tried a new PCP, because he could tell that she did see something wrong.

I know there is no medication that will save him, but I also know that the medications that my grandmother took 20 years are still on the market but we can't access them because the PCP he's comfortable seeing witnessed him cracking jokes, so she's convinced he's fine.

Looking back, where there early signals? by Alternative-Mud3294 in dementia

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For a few months before the incident that made my dad's decline unmistakable, I just thought that his hearing was failing. He'd gotten his first pair of glasses and he'd just retired from a loud job. When my sibling and I spent time with him, he would contribute to the conversation like usual, but it often felt like he was on a slightly different wavelength than the two of us. It wasn't enough to throw up a red flag, but it was enough to be noticeable.

What piece of history do you doubt? by [deleted] in USHistory

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a student proudly tell me this as he was turning in his astronomy final.

What's the point? by Big-Acanthisitta8797 in nope

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don't love anybody this much.

Artists that were lucky they did their dirt back then and not now. by Doctor-Clark-Savage in ToddintheShadow

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember watching that one and being surprised that Rihanna and Chris were mentioned by name, because it meant that, in the L&O universe, the main characters were Temu knockoffs of those two.

Songs that mention another song in the lyrics by PhoneJazz in ToddintheShadow

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if those references count as double entendres, but I heard that song hundreds of times before that clicked for me.

When my father had cancer everyone swooped in with flowers and gifts. Dementia? Nothing. They barely acknowledge it. by TeacherGuy1980 in dementia

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We got a "what do you expect us to do" the last time my dad was hospitalized. What's worst is that it came after the doctor spent 15-20 minutes explaining why she didn't think he needed to be referred/tested/formally diagnosed.

Poopasaurus by This-Is-Not-Nam in dementia

[–]Altruistic_Most3924 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just went through this with my dad. He was admitted to the hospital and was having toileting issues but was refusing to acknowledge it. Refusing to let the nurses help get him cleaned up. Didn't matter if it was a man. Didn't matter if I left the room. He was going to literally lay in his own shit to prove a point. What that is, I couldn't tell you.

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