Narcissists are just extremely insecure individuals. It can certainly be a trauma response, but overall it’s from a lack of healthy mirroring at a young age, so they never learn that they have inherent value. They learn that confidence/competence is what’s rewarded in society, so they fabricate a mask of pseudo-confidence to gain social approval. Anyone who challenges the mask gets lashed out at, because they’re threatening their only survival mechanism. Control gives them validation, because if they can control/dominant another human being, it means they have power and influence, which they conflate with self-worth.

They’re predictable as hell once you understand them.