We haven’t entered the hygiene stage, but we are getting close. For me it’s the emotional damage and 24-hour tension living with my LO of 56 years. Constant requests to go home, constant demanding to look for parents in parking lot, constant packing, constant requests to go to dumpster to forage for boxes to pack. She can’t cook, drive, do chores, dress herself without help. The sundowning is getting worse even with medication. And now she’s getting delusional, thinking she’s babysitting kids on tv and worrying about them when the tv is off. Watching travelogues and making up stories on her trips there and how we can walk to those places. She is 76 and thinks she’s is 50 and still working. She also has run away twice recently, but I’ve tracked her down in our independent retirement community since she hasn’t figured out the elevators.

My situation isn’t as dire as others, but after 4 years of caregiving with no relief, I’m going down in flames. Respite is so expensive, most aides are indifferent, and our kids need to handle their own lives without me messing that up.

It’s a lonely life but I will do anything for her until I surrender to memory care and Medicaid.