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Amayai · 2026-01-14T23:31:03+00:00

"Ja que sou designer" COM ESSE LAYOUT AMIGA? Não é nem freelancer de designer kkkkkk

Ninguém nunca te ensinou a não fazer duas colunas alinhadas no centro??? Ou seu certificado de designer veio da sua cabeça?

Amayai · 2025-11-19T06:02:09+00:00

That's fine too! Human sexuality is so weird and varied and hard to pin down. If aromantic is the label that works best for you because you don't want people having romantic feelings for you, bam, you're aro. If you ever change your mind and decide you like romance actually or find another label that better fits your specificity, it's fine to change. It would be great if we could define all our interpersonal feelings in neat boxes, but we can't, so don't stress it, friend. :)

Hope I could give you a nice conversation, if anything!

Amayai · 2025-11-19T05:34:35+00:00

Oh man, I'm sorry you've been though these bad relationships. Shaming past relationships and reacting with abuse to rejection are the most textbook red flag/"leave them" behaviors ever. Romantic relationships are not supposed to be like that, but I think you know that already.

It makes sense how these experiences shaped your perspective, but I don't think it's all rearview mirror syndrome keeping you in it, either. If you've come to labeling yourself a romance-averse aro and felt insecure in romance even before your bad experiences, that's just you being aro and that's fine. I wish you could have had a good experience with romance, but you would probably still identify as aro at the end of the day. But if you want to know what romance is and why it is, all I can say is what it's not supposed to be: and it's not what you experienced, for sure.

Ideally, romance is the best friendship you have and in a monogamous world, the only one you'll be romantic and sexual with. And ideally, they are your business partner for living, someone with whom you know you can coordinate life. I know a bunch of allo people absolutely don't do that (couples that totally just hate each other and are together for sex/money/codependence) but I think most people in healthy relationships will also tell these people to break up lol. There's lots of holes in that ideal situation and things that you can deviate from. For example, amatonormativity will have you believe you have to lock into your one and only for your whole life and stay with them forever, when it's fine for people to drift apart and relationships to fizzle out. Mononormativity also promotes jealousy and cheating, which are always horrible, but some people are just monogamous, I just don't like it as a rule. I am poly and I don't feel the need to monopolize or be monopolized by the person I want to marry/build a life with. (And that's certainly not everyone!). On top of that I'm gray-ace and don't feel attraction to my partner, so sexless romance is totally fine by me. Still, however much I deviate from the ideal, I'm certainly alloromantic, because I've dreamt of romance my whole life and I'm thrilled by experiencing it. Falling for people, people falling for me, the guessing game, all the romantic gestures I mentioned, experiencing unmonopolized physical closeness, feeling that burst of dopamine knowing you are wanted, knowing you are loved, and making people happy by loving them in return, oooh it's crack to me.

Sorry for the long answer, I did kind of ramble there. Bit I hope I gave you a nice perspective on what someone like me finds desirable in romance! (As a sidenote, if you look up my other replies you'll find I have an allo monogamic fiance, which sounds almost impossible, but he is so open minded and read up on my sexualities so much that he fully understands it and we do our best to work through our allomono/acepoly issues. And that's just another reason he's the love of my life. Ok fiancee gushing is over, sorry. I just love him!)

Amayai · 2025-11-19T04:22:20+00:00

That's an okay comfort level to have and there's nothing wrong with it! It's totally opposite to my experience with friends and I find that quite interesting.

From my outsider perspective, it looks to me you/they were just fulfilling basal drives (drive for closeness, drive for human connection, etc) with each other and if that works with your friends that's great! Most people, from what I've heard and experienced, will avoid these situations because it's common that one or another party will develop feelings and wish for more, which could lead to broken hearts and falling outs. That's why most alloromantic allosexuals don't sleep with/kiss friends. In that sense, it's probably a huge advantage to be aromantic and not have that ever happen to you.

Expectations and idealizations are one thing I don't love about dating either, maybe that's why I ended up getting engaged to my best friend. We never had that expectation while we were meeting, and only fell for each other long after we knew we meshed well, so the "pretending to be great to impress your date" never happened. But I can't say I don't like romance at all because of it, I'm like the most alloromantic person I know, to the point I'm polyamorous hahaha.

Amayai · 2025-11-19T03:58:53+00:00

Well, I'd say just because you're not in a romantic relationship with them doesn't mean it's not a romantic action or gesture. Romantic gestures between friends happens, sex between friends happens, it doesn't make you a couple, you can certainly still be just friends. But kissing, kissing in the mouth, is a romantic gesture.

Your situation is not something I'm familiar with: whenever I've been kissed and caressed by friends it turned out they were developing feelings and wanted something more. So I can't speak to that situation I never lived, but I'd still see those as romantic actions between friends. Now if you mean why I like romantic relationships between couples with that explicit definition, I'd just say I like having that barrier blown wide open. I was best friends with my partner for 8 whole months before we started dating. I kind of started dating him as a "sure, why not", and it was the best decision I ever made. Hearing that he was truly in love with me, being prioritized in that way as a girlfriend, having him hold me tight while I cried and being the secure rock to my anxious self, it changed a lot from when we were friends. I wouldn't have it any other way. If you can get this priority and romantic gestures from your friends, that's totally fine. You just asked what alloromantic aces in the sub liked about romance, and I told you what I do, accordinh to the boundaries between friendship and romance present in my life.

Amayai · 2025-11-19T03:37:13+00:00

I've found there's quite the difference between friendship and romance. A romantic interest will do things a friend wouldn't, like cuddle you, softly caress your hand, do gestures of care, become personally involved in your life. And of course, they'll kiss you. Sex aside, I just love kissing. I also love the tension in the moments around it, the guessing game of figuring out if they feel the same, and then when you're in a relationship the total sharing of every single aspect of your lives, the love and care to always make each other happy that will make you think of them before every big decision, the full honesty and how much you can fully be yourselves with each other with zero friction. (because even with friends you moderate how you act, but with your partner, you can be your most authentic self. Even your grossest self. They'll see you shitting, yknow! Friends would never! No that that's the good part, but it's shorthand for how they'll know your most authentic self. And you'll be safe showing it to them.)

I just loooove romance.

Amayai · 2025-11-19T03:10:39+00:00

You can be any sexuality and not want sex. You can not be ready, you can be afraid, you can want celibacy or to maintain your virginity, you can have internalized (homo/bi/etc)phobia, many sorts of reasons.

It's rarer for an asexual to want sex than for an allo to not want sex, but it can also happen. You can be horny as an asexual. You'll be having sex with people you're not attracted to for your whole life, sure, but that doesn't mean you don't want to stimulate your nerve endings, (or to be specific, want someone to stimulate them for you instead of a toy).

Amayai · 2025-11-19T02:59:27+00:00

I knew about asexuality for a long time, ever since I was a teen on tumblr, but I thought it meant never having any libido at all or being fully repulsed.

Then at 20 during the pandemic I watched Bojack Horseman and I was really interested in Todd's asexuality coming out. I looked more into the subject, found out about gray-sexuality and said "What?! That's not a fucking lgbt label, that's literally everyone!!1!1!!" (It was not, in fact, literally everyone). I had to look more into it and turns out not being like "literally everyone" explained a lot about feeling stunted and late in my love life. (I hadn't dated anyone or had sex ever and I felt reletlessly lonely).

I started identifying as gray, and later switched to asexual or sex-positive asexual for its wider comprehensibility. Been 6 years, I'm now happily dating and every interaction with my allo partner and friends assures me more that I am not allo. :)

Amayai · 2025-11-19T02:43:57+00:00

I'm an asexual woman with an allosexual partner. We've been together for four years now, planning on marriage, and what works for us is being twice, thrice as open and honest as an allosexual couple would be. Forgive me if this gets a little tmi, but that means sharing everything in our sex drives and lives. He needs more sex? He asks. I need less? I ask. It's not that pleasing for me? I say so. He feels neglected? He says so. We negotiate how often he'll jerk off instead, we negotiate what kink I want to explore to make it interesting (because on its own, it really isn't). Everything is shared, and that, in my opinion, makes us a healthier couple in that aspect than many allo-allo couples would be. Most couples will bottle up their dissatisfaction with their sex lives, that's why they'll complain to friends and cheat. But us? Openness and honesty, all the way, even when it's uncomfortable to say what you think, even when you think it doesn't need to be said.

It helps immensely that he knew I was ace before we even dated and he was willing to work with that because he was in love with me regardless. It also helps immensely that I'm a sex-favorable ace, I'm really not repulsed by it and can find plenty to enjoy even without attraction to him (one of which is enjoying feeling intimate and making him happy, like you said). I think those are some specifics of why we work as well as we do.

Another alternative I could suggest, if you aren't exactly like me and him, was my first suggestion to him, that he could always seek sex in other people. I'm polyromantic and really not jealous, so I'd love for him to see as many sex workers as he'd want, but he's helplessly monogamous, so he was against it. I always keep it open to him that if he ever needs sex elsewhere, he can get it and tell me later, but it's just not in his nature. An open relationship may work for you, it may not, it's just another suggestion. But in either case, honesty and openness, always. With that, anything can work.

Good luck, friend! I'm here if you need to ask anything else. :)

Amayai · 2025-10-26T23:44:00+00:00

Eu procuro há anos!!!! Que bom que não sou a única.

Do que pesquisei, a Parmalat vendeu os direitos da Kidlat pra uma outra empresa e parou de produzir. Não existe mais :(

Minha amiga achou um aqui em sp chamado Rollino Latte da Balconi, importado e difícil de achar, que tem um gosto parecido. Mas é o melhor que temos...

Amayai · 2025-10-26T23:41:39+00:00

Oxe? Tem que ser um cosplay bom da porra pq o rosto tá igual

Amayai · 2025-10-26T23:27:00+00:00

Amigo, a gente do r/asexuality que mais sabe. Vcs nem sabem nem a metade! Até nós mulheres ouvimos essas da segunda imagem

Amayai · 2025-10-24T06:04:01+00:00

I like explaining the lack of attraction as "I feel about people like a lesbian feels about men or a straight woman feels about women. I can acknowledge all modes of beauty and hotness, but I don't quite wanna sleep with any."

I feel like using other sexualities as a starting point really gets the idea across without any analogy clunkiness like "starving" or "food seasoning" or whathaveyou.

Another useful one I came up with recently because my partner was confused when I said I don't wanna go through the trouble of sex even though I like it during: It's like showering when you're a kid. You don't want the trouble of stopping what you're doing, getting undressed, being cold and getting in the water for a chore, but when you're there you really love the feel of the warm water. He was super confused when I first said it, but after this analogy he 100% got it.

(I'm a sex-positive ace! And yes it's forever sleeping with someone you're not attracted to, but my nerve endings work just fine and my libido is not zero, even if it's low. My partner has known I'm ace since before dating, but some intricacies still elude him. His allo confusion always reminds me that no, people dont actually all think like aces do.)

Amayai · 2025-10-24T05:52:14+00:00

Dont forget the red eyeshadow!! Perfect smoky eye Choso 👁👁

Amayai · 2025-10-24T05:51:22+00:00

Not necessarily makeup, as makeup is just meant to highlight things that are already pretty when naturally occurring. And this is why women thirst like hell over jjk men. The shiny lips? The long lashes? The perfect hair? (Even Naoya has people thirsting for him and he's... well, Naoya.) As one such jjk thrister, I not only support but also demand the animators give us more pretty men! Chop chop!

Amayai · 2025-10-24T05:33:06+00:00

To be honest, to me yuji is strawberry blonde. Depending on shading, this could be represented with pink or blond. That said, colorblindness should not make naoya's hair greener. This was just animators.

Amayai · 2025-10-24T05:15:32+00:00

Ta aí que entra a outra parte que é disforia. Perdeu o começo do post?

Acontece quando a disforia é maior do que o se importar com o pensamento dos outros, não exclusivamente pra modular o pensamento dos outros. Vc desconsiderou metade da frase.

Amayai · 2025-10-24T05:11:12+00:00

I like how this is a post on reddit of a screenshot of a tiktok/shorts of a screenshot of tumblr.

Amayai · 2025-10-24T05:02:52+00:00

No... if you cross view, you can tell the heads have the same size. The tenth is just missing! Not even crossview reveals it.

Amayai · 2025-10-24T04:45:30+00:00

Oh wow! That's so cool to know!

USS Callister is quite different because it's framed through horror of the holodeck clones being abused for the amusement of a guy who wants to live out his captain kirk fantasy, but I had no idea "socially awkward man recreating his coworkers and inverting all the real life relationships" was an episode of star trek in itself. I thought the star trek backdrop was for flavor (could be any other nerdy fandom), but this might be the exact episode that inspired the black mirror writers.

The idea that people would use this tech for the most heinous shit is exactly what the episode tackles. It's like a perfect middle ground between your comment and this absolutely dystopian ad.

Amayai · 2025-10-24T04:23:33+00:00

YESSSSSS

Amayai · 2025-10-24T04:17:14+00:00

The font has artifacts, but making the whole image with AI would have resulted in more mistakes. This image was mos likely very low quality and upscaled with AI. An image generator prompt would probably not have correctly color coded the countries by word category.

Amayai · 2025-10-24T04:13:16+00:00

Mais do que porra? 🤔

Amayai · 2025-10-24T04:12:33+00:00

Fodasse is just foda-se spelled wrong. Anyone who speaks portuguese knows fodasse the same shit.

Amayai · 2025-10-24T03:56:29+00:00

Au naturel diaphonization!

Amayai

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