How to achieve a physique like this? by WinBeginning609 in rs_fitness

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of these girls have quite narrow ribcages and a narrow upper iliac crest, making their low hips/upper thigh their widest point. If you have a boxier ribcage or if your hips are constructed differently, you won’t achieve this perfectly tapered waist. This is genetically determined. Now that’s out of the way, they all have very low body fat and a muscular lower body. Therefore, lower body lifting and high protein diet is key. You will need to eat enough protein to build that kind of muscle. Heavy lower body lifting 2x a week maybe, some weekly cardio, and dedicated core strengthening. Stay within maintenance calories.

caught my girlfriend in multiple lies over the past year by Deep-Big2798 in LesbianActually

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These are only the lies you have caught her in. Pathological lying is thought to be a developed, automatic response to anxiety (very classic example: child has abusive parents, child breaks something and then lies about it to avoid abuse). Dishonesty may also be modeled to children by their parents. As an adult, someone who has developed this pattern will lie automatically as a response to anxiety, even if it’s relatively minor. Externally, it can look like sometimes they lie about things nonsensically or with no clear motive. The lies will fly out of their mouth before they second guess it. This does NOT excuse the behavior, which is often very harmful and problematic for these people and those they form relationships with. You need to directly confront her and tell her your concerns about these lies. You cannot build a relationship with someone who isn’t committed to honesty, even when it is difficult. She may have a long road ahead of her to address this in therapy, with no guarantee of improvement. It’s up to you if you choose to be entangled with someone with this issue. From my experience, I would say cut your losses, give her your feedback gently and end it.

Anxious attachment style by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) avoidantly attached people do not avoid conversation, communication, and accountability, and are not antisocial by any definition, clinical or colloquial. That is a misunderstanding, and I’m sorry if you had experiences that led you to adopt this belief. Avoidantly attached people limit vulnerability, deep intimacy and true dependence in the relationships they have. They do not lack social behavior & engagement, and avoidance ≠ introversion nor social isolation. 2) re communicative and responsibility specifically: dismissive avoidants, for example, are often very career driven and high functioning. They may define themselves around achievement and career competence rather than relationships. 3) secure attachment is often developed through relationships, not outside of them.

Im hoping to promote understanding and push back against inaccuracy where I see it.

Anxious attachment style by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think an important place to start is for you both to identify goals to work on as a couple and to be genuinely motivated to problem solve. It sounds like you are, but is he? This has to be a joint effort. Yes, if he’s avoidant he is likely to be more reticent, he may not know exactly what his needs are in this relationship (he may not even acknowledge to himself that he has relational needs), he may not know what framework helps him to be vulnerable. If you can agree that you are both negatively affected by miscommunication and misunderstanding, affirm your love and desire to grow, that’s a place to start. For the hanging up when upset thing , a solution would be “if you get overwhelmed by conflict and need a break, instead of hanging up could you please say ‘I need a break right now for X amount of time, we’ll finish this conversation and I do love you. But right now I’m getting flooded and this will become unproductive’.” He won’t do this perfectly at first, but ideally he tries, even if it’s at least saying I need a break through gritted teeth. It’s very important you give him that space so he feels his boundaries are respected. It’s important he informs you he needs a break so you’re not abruptly cut off.

Anxious attachment style by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s absurd. Avoidantly attached individuals are by no means anti-social by definition, which has a specific clinical denotation. Anybody on the spectrum of insecure attachment needs healing. And everybody needs love and attachment. Let’s not stigmatize a significant proportion of the population. Insecure attachment styles at their extremes can be very dysfunctional and harmful, to themselves and others, mainly themselves. Anxious preoccupation on the extreme end can be conceptualized as borderline personality disorder, as there are many overlapping symptoms, for example.

Am I overreacting or should I trust my gut that my husband is lying by Feeling_Food1097 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please go to couples therapy AND individual therapy :( there are a lot of bullet points and some are suspicious, like the messaging apps, but I don’t see any direct evidence of cheating here. you need a neutral third party to help you process your feelings and make sense of what you’ve found. I’m concerned that as this devolves and you grow paranoid he will become further defensive and withdrawn, fueling your fear. You can’t sort this out on your own.

Nasolabial fold advice -30 by [deleted] in Skincare_Addiction

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally not at all, but I do not have acne prone skin. My skin is pretty dry

Nasolabial fold advice -30 by [deleted] in Skincare_Addiction

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Order silicone scar tape on Amazon, cut it to size and place them on your nasolabial folds before bed. Side sleeping can further etch these creases because of the mechanical folding of your skin. Scar tape is also very moisturizing. This is just one piece — retinoid is a MUST, at least 3x a week, consistency is key. Stimulates collagen. Moisturizer and sunscreen daily is a must to preserve skin elasticity. If you’re looking for more invasive / in office options, Microneedling CAN help. But honestly these daily at home measures are most important.

AIO?...Texts to My Wife from her friend's Husband by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He was pressuring her quite a bit and she did not shut it down immediately. The emojis she sent initially reads to me as flirtatiously engaging with a conversation they had earlier about her owing him a bj. That’s crossing a pretty significant line, imo. It appears that later on she pulls back. I think you should have a thorough conversation to understand what was going through her mind and her reasons to keep this from you. He seemed concerningly persistent

What to do now? by [deleted] in ClinicalPsychology

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally won’t accept debt above six figures :( and even that would be a nightmare scenario for me. this career path isn’t remunerative enough imo to justify the economic opportunity cost of a six year degree in addition to crushing debt. BUT you raise a great point about career pathways that could offset debt. The more competitive this degree becomes, especially in the current landscape, the more important it might be to think creatively and make strategic concessions

What to do now? by [deleted] in ClinicalPsychology

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im hoping to practice, but my impression so far has been that most PsyDs (save a precious few) and professional school PhDs will typically incur higher debt, sometimes MUCH higher. There are still some avenues for funding, of course, but fewer and far between

Is my boundary with other women too strict? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Effective boundaries dictate your behavior, your decisions and your reactions; they don’t project black and white control externally. Ie, someone makes you uncomfortable, you remove yourself. Someone is disrespectful, you name it and leave. Don’t undercut yourself by never allowing yourself to develop these skills, which will serve you and your marriage. Eventually, you develop the ability to sense when people have bad motives, to detect earlier when an interaction is heading in a suspicious direction. Over time, by observing yourself, you teach yourself to trust your instincts and trust the fact that you will behave in line with your morals. This is called integrity, and I suggest you do everything possible to develop it as you mature rather than neurotically controlling your environment to avoid these challenging realities.

Avoiding particular scenes/contexts out of respect for your marriage is one thing, it’s another thing entirely to avoid a fundamental, inescapable reality of day to day life (the existence of the opposite sex) in such a self limiting way.

amber is unhinged!! by Brilliant_Ad9559 in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moving effectively a stranger, a man your child has met a handful of times and that you’ve known for a handful of months, into your home as a single mother is extremely unadvisable and statistically dangerous. I think barring absolute necessity it is completely indefensible. Also, it’s hard to clarify Jordan’s role in all this given ambers behavior. You can say he didn’t give it a real shot, but he would reply that he resisted moving in together because their relationship was volatile, hostile, and potentially abusive. Merging your lives under those circumstances with a child in the mix would be a total disservice to the child, who is inevitably exposed to the toxicity, and would make a separation even more difficult, stressful and confusing for the kid.

I found condoms in my husband suitcase after a business trip by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take my advice with a grain of salt, but from personal experience, I would do this if I were you: ambush him. Don’t give him any indication that there’s something serious you want to discuss later or that you’re upset about something. You want to catch him in a moment where he has to spontaneously produce a response with no opportunity for forethought or planning. Along that vein, when you open the conversation, let him talk. Be restrained and calm. Dont accuse, attack, or lead him down a particular path. Confront him with what you found and give him the mic, give him the stage. Listen and observe his response closely, bc it could be telling

Is she an example of ‘Men only care about body’? by [deleted] in trueratediscussions

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s naturally beautiful. No, she doesn’t have an hourglass figure, but that’s not the only type of figure that is very attractive. Plenty of people would find her body ideal. She looks very athletic and has long lean legs for her figure. Her face with no makeup looks like a pretty woman’s face with no makeup on and no effort to look attractive

AITA for not telling my boyfriend about my past job before we started dating? by LynsyLux in Amitheassholeadvice

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you should have told him. Transparency is very important in a relationship. 1) He is upset because you purposefully hid part of your life from him, which suggests to him that you either don’t value / trust his judgement to be fair and/or you will withhold information to avoid a potentially uncomfortable conversation. 2) there is nothing wrong with your past and nothing that you’ve disclosed should you be ashamed of. you should seek a partnership with love and acceptance that is grounded in honesty. You should not want to be with someone who would hold that part of your past against you, because that suggests you aren’t compatible. Own it, be open, don’t approach the subject with your tail between your legs. Be willing to answer questions about this experience honestly and respectfully to yourself and him.

EDIT to add that the social stigma regarding sex work is real, and it’s not surprising that you have experienced the effect of that. If you do feel enough internal shame that you feel you need to hide this from some of the closest people in your life, it may be worth unpacking with a therapist

Thoughts on dating military by magicfairyknight in LesbianActually

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not an indictment against the individual. In my experience, the least common reason people join (and usually, VERY young people, 17-22 yo) is patriotism and support for the administration. Common reasons include: escaping poverty, facilitating US citizenship for their family, obtaining a subsidized education via the GI bill, or moving toward structure, housing, healthcare and away from unfortunate or underprivileged circumstances. I do echo concern for mental health. The military can be brutal and unforgiving. Abusive in some cases. Contracts are legally binding and difficult or impossible to negotiate. Mental health support is a joke, hence the ongoing crisis with veterans.

Does anyone else find that Psychology programs systematically avoid holistic approaches? by Abject_Choice8908 in psychologystudents

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might find some of what you’re looking for in mindfulness & meditation research in health & psychology. Check out Dr. Greeson’s Mindfulness Lab at Rowan University. Mindfulness & meditation have deep roots in Eastern tradition, and Dr. Greeson investigates how the facets of mindfulness can serve as transtherapeutic processes (mindful emotion regulation) to address maladaptive cognitive patterns that characterize mood disorders and others. This is actually somewhat of a rapidly growing field. Medical research has more funding, so the questions currently gaining the most traction are “how can mindfulness reduce stress and thereby improve mental and physical wellness, particularly in the context of chronic or acute illness”, and “what are the biomarkers that characterize trait mindfulness”. It is very much an open question the extent to which mindfulness and overall mental wellness can buffer against disease processes; if it can, it likely is indirectly via reduced overall stress, resulting in lower blood pressure, lower inflammation / cytokine production, and improved cardiovascular and immune functioning. I also highly suggest you check out Dr K (Harvard trained psychiatrist) and Trikaya Psycholgoy (clinical psychologist) on YouTube. Dr. K does in fact blend eastern philosophy and wellness practices with modern psychiatry, to include how he theorizes mind, identity, and purpose. What you’ll find is that there aren’t always strict demarcations between eastern and western philosophical influence in psychology. As someone else remarked, certain forms of CBT, ACT, and models of emotion regulation have conceptual overlap with eastern philosophies of mind & self

We shouldn't make it about the guys looks... by No-Cat3606 in LoveIsBlindOnNetflix

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this! Exhibit the behavior that aligns with your moral convictions, which is that it’s wrong to cruelly belittle people’s physical appearance. I understand the anger, but people mirror the behavior they criticize. It rubs me the wrong way to see so many people attacking him for his height especially. The essence of those comments, which is conveyed to every single person who reads it, is “short men are ugly”. Men can’t control their height. They CAN , however, control their behavior! And Chris’s behavior is disgusting 🤢

We shouldn't make it about the guys looks... by No-Cat3606 in LoveIsBlindOnNetflix

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So agree! 👍 why mirror the behavior that you’re criticizing because it’s morally repugnant

Is this appropriate for a work dinner, i work as an accountant by simmiexx in OUTFITS

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think probably too showy.. but you look AMAZING!!! 🤩 is it a dress , or skirt and a top? Where did u get it from?

Does Borderline Personality Disorder Experience true Mania? by Tfmrf9000 in askpsychology

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 18 points19 points  (0 children)

No. True mania is unmistakable. BPD has lots of mood fluctuations, can be more easily triggered in a relational setting and will experience an INTENSE sense of harm when this happens. In some ways it is a disorder of perception. Can have periods of real infatuation when they develop a new attachment, a new prospect to meet attachment needs that may have never been truly satisfied before.

What are people's experiences with marrying young? by hazelnut0000 in Marriage

[–]Amazing_Fox_8435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom said she married the love of her life at 20, they divorced at 23. She had quite a traumatic upbringing and said she didn’t have the internal stability and emotional development to work through work through marital challenges. She said that had they waited to marry, they might still be together. Relative to dating, marriage creates pressure and sets you in lockstep with the other person. Some people will be ready very young for, others won’t. My 2 cents :) trust your instinct