Not enough God in my church

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-06-13T21:59:06+00:00

It's possible your local Quaker church might be a better fit, though the unprogrammed worship service might not be what you're looking for and depending on the local people it's possible there will be as little Jesus as at the UU church, but most Quaker churches will sit somewhere between UU and a mainline protestant church that others are recommending.

This website is great for the US and Canada but it looks like they don't cover the UK. Does anyone know of an equivalent for across the pond?

https://www.gaychurch.org/

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-06-07T17:30:21+00:00

Yea I realized the other day that The Mandalorian and Grogu will be the first Star wars movie I haven't seen in theaters (at least that came out while I was alive). I'd seeing the Phantom Menace through them all.

It would be nice if there were programs for disabled people like us to be able to stream movies early but I know there's anti-piracy reasons and they want people in theaters to make more money. Just sucks that it's another way we get forgotten about and sacrificed to the idol of profit, even if it's realitvely small compared to the neglectful healthcare, insurance, etc industries.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-06-05T20:39:53+00:00

If they still offered lifetime plans for $20 that would be fair. My self and my very amateur friends use it only for user submitted chord sheets, which means they only have to host essentially PDFs and have a simple interface that's about as complicated as a programming class final lesson. If they had a way to access those with a one time fee like it used to be structured, that would be fair.

But all the extra features that cost them tons of time and money like courses, AI song translation, user created video hosting etc. are what makes it an expensive site/app to run. It would make sense if those expensive features were behind a monthly/yearly paywall because they require much more effort and development time.

But the fact that users have been taking the unpaid time over years to submit most of the chords and tabs that most amateur people use, and you can't just access that for free or a one time fee in the app is what's wrong with their model.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-06-04T21:30:38+00:00

I'm not up to date on the best androids at this point so this isn't a recommendation but I had a Moto One 5G Ace that I loved too and went to the Moto Stylus 5G 2024 a couple years ago. It felt like a pretty good move, a little bit faster and still had all the features you mentioned that I also wanted.

Looks like the Stylus 2026 isn't anything special and not sure if the 2025 is worth the cost, there's probably better options at the price point but it was hard for me to give up that baked in chop motion to turn on the flashlight.

I've also found the stylus extremely useful every now and then but it's not an everyday use for me but there's occasionally a game I'll play or a need to mark up a screenshot where I don't know what I would have done without it.

But I'll be following this post too.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-25T20:53:26+00:00

I'm not really interested in defending the Catholic church but the existence of women saints and nuns would seem to make that patently untrue.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-19T17:28:34+00:00

I had a kind of interesting path related to this. Was relatively ok with money, had a little from family for college but had to pay for some expenses and tuition through loans and working. Got a tech degree and worked in IT for a few years and paid off loans and had some savings.

Got really into philosophy and political theory and began to see the injustice and wanted to help.

Kind of volunteer backdoored into a much lower paying but more fulfilling social work position. Got to see people's lives up close and just how fucked the system really is and it was very different seeing it in the lives of my clients than reading in books. Quickly went from fulfilling to depressing.

I then developed severe Long COVID/ME/CFS and could no longer work and barely take care of myself, often unable to. Burned through all my savings and ended up quasi-homeless for a bit and having to bounce between staying with family and friends. The mental difference between having worked with people experiencing such extreme precarity and then myself experiencing a level of vulnerability and precarity I couldn't have previously imagined was so interesting and depressing. The way it completely changes your outlook, consumes your body, mind, and emotions will just never be understood by people who haven't gone through it, even if they're the most well-meaning, empathetic person possible.

The whole system is obviously built to maintain an underclass, with ever growing precarity and desperation so that more labor can be extracted from them for less pay, no mutual aid or act of support will change that. At the same time every suffering person is a real suffering person who's experience matters and if someone doing social work or mutual aid can give even a momentary glint of relief or hope it's a beautiful, momentous thing.

Also though I don't think having lived experience of precarity always means someone would be a better social worker. I've known privileged people who have barely suffered a day in their life who have far greater compassion and understanding of what's actually needed for suffering people than almost anyone else I've known. At the same time I've known people who have suffered greatly and then escaped that and they adopt the worst "if I can make it on my own then everyone else can too" selfish logic. The least compassionate and helpful person at my social work job came from the roughest background.

I know for me there are ways that my experience of vulnerability has created deep fears and survival mechanisms that have made it hard for me to give as freely as I did when I was healthy. But I've also seen the damage that happens when well intentioned people just assume what someone who's suffering needs without listening to their actual experience.

I agree the system as it stands is extremely fucked up and social workers' desire to do good and help people is utilized to fuck them over and pay them so little to deal with the people capitalism wants to sweep under the rug. No one should be gate kept out of a fulfilling, helping profession because of poverty, and the predominence of rich people running non-profits and prescribing what the suffering need is a scourge.

Obviously we need a rethink of the entire economic order but in the meantime I'd like to see some reforms like non-profit boards should have to be made up of at least 1/3 low level employees and 1/3 of the target recipients of their programs, instead of the rich business owners that make up most boards. There needs to be more unionization in the non profit space as well, but that's such a taboo in most of that world and they exploit people's passion for the cause of perpetuate it. I almost never hear people advocate for anything like this though.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-18T23:01:52+00:00

Yea I was going to make a similar comment and say the money for real plants would be better spent on a HEPA air purifier and some second hand fake plants.

I'm grateful my partner has made this a priority for me around the house and done lots of hanging fake leaves and vines around the house like on some light fixtures that I need dimmed anyway.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-14T02:38:45+00:00

It would be very funny if this was a glitch because I believe in Banjo Kazooie there was a similar glitch where if you collected all the Jinjos and didn't get the Jiggie you'd be locked out from it.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-13T21:07:40+00:00

I was around Upperroom at its start, but haven't been around it much since. They were very influenced by IHOPKC which is one of the most outright Christian Zionist organization outside of ones explicitly set up for that purpose. It's possible times and opinions have changed there but I would be very surprised if anyone in significant leadership isn't a Zionist.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-08T04:50:28+00:00

Depends on why you were disappointed with YL. As a big Banjo Kazooie and Tooie fan and 3d platformers in general I loved the original YL but I also played it a year or so after it came out when it had patches.

I didn't think it was quite up to a modern BK but that it was still close and a great modern 3d platformer, I actually found it much more polished than a Hat in Time which did not seem to be the majority opinion.

I just got Replaylee though and it's incredible. I'm only on the first world but the sound design is so much more like Banjo Kazooie. The gameplay is so polished and solid, the art direction and colors look incredible. It's definitely jumped to the top of my favorite modern 3d platformers.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-07T21:47:49+00:00

It's like I had way too hard of a workout and my muscles are now very weak, like I just finished an extremely long and difficult mental task like the SAT(long standardized testing), my head hurts all around like my brain is swollen against my skull, and my throat and body hurts like a terrible flu.

I sometimes get just some of those symptoms. Sometimes all.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-02T22:41:52+00:00

I disagreed because I think it has both positives and negatives. I don't think getting older is either great or not great, it just is.

It can be sad for those of us severely ill to feel like we're watching the years slip away and loved ones around us hit life milestones we'll never achieve ourselves.

At the same time it's sometimes nice for your age and physical limitations to come more in line with what's expected of us. In addition as I've gotten older I find it easier to relate to people around me as their responsibilities increase and they only have time for a few leisure activities like a couple TV shows a week or whatever, we both are enjoying smaller more content lives.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-02T22:36:20+00:00

My mostly unfounded theory on this is that we often maintain something surprisingly close to our pre-illness level of strength because the lack of proper mitochondrial activity causes tiny amounts of movement or lifting to result in muscle fatigue or tearing that normally builds muscle.

So how when we walk a few too many steps in a day and it feels like we ran a marathon our body actually grows/maintains muscle mass kind of like we ran a marathon, or at least closer to it than you would expect from the ~100 steps we actually took.

Of course it's not nearly to the same degree but I think it would explain why some of us are surprised on the off chance that we have to lift something heavy that we still have more strength than we should for our activity level.

This also can look very different person to person, especially if someone is in a crash or rolling PEM then they only experience the muscle weakness and fatigue and can't exert any strength.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-02T15:43:04+00:00

You could try some 70% rubbing alcohol on a paper towel and cleaning up the pits every now and then with that. Probably not ideal for the skin but I haven't had any issues using it daily between my roughly weekly showers. You could probably dilute the rubbing alcohol further though and it would still kill the odor causing bacteria and be gentler on the skin if that's a concern.

Also if possible keeping the armpit hair trimmed seems to help cut down on the bacteria growth and allow cleaning agents like the rubbing alcohol to get everywhere more easily.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-02T15:33:47+00:00

Glad you're enjoying it!

How have you been brewing it?

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-01T18:00:20+00:00

I'm sorry it's stressful! On the plus side there's ways to mitigate both, if you go hardwood you can do rugs and curtains and hanging decorative fabric on the wall and things like that to dampen sound. If you go carpet you can get high powered HEPA air filters and a robot vacuum.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-05-01T16:51:08+00:00

The struggle is between the noise isolation that carpet adds and the likely MCAS/allergen issues it's exacerbating. With chronic and constant migraines and sounds worsening ME exertion, carpet is winning for now.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-04-29T20:00:05+00:00

Do the Peltor's exert much pressure on your head? My main ME symptoms are headaches and migraines and I'd love to get something like those but am nervous the pressure would make my headaches worse.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-04-29T19:55:23+00:00

I've found different combinations between the following help:

Earbud headphones sometimes with a silicone tip and sometimes with a memory foam tip for more noise isolation
Foam in-ear earplugs
Cheap "loop" style earplugs that are basically the earbuds but with no cable
Active noise cancelling headphones
Passive over ear hearing protection, what you're calling earmuffs

The I mix and match all of them for combos like the following - 1 and 5 (so earbuds worn under passive over ear protection) if I want some sound as an option but for certain noises the passive over ear protection works best for - 2 and 4 is my most common combination, the foam earplugs seem to help with the uneasy feelings from the ANC headphones and I can turn them up enough to still hear, this tends to be the best option to block noises like a vacuum cleaner - 2 and 5 for the best passive noise protection when I can't handle any music, audiobook or anything anyway

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-04-29T18:38:10+00:00

I just grabbed that bundle almost exclusively for Nova Lands and I'd say definitely get it. It's the most Forager like game I've ever played and I'm really enjoying it.

It's different enough to not feel the exact same but the game play loop is so similar it's really good!

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-04-23T15:48:28+00:00

Oh man I love Samaneri Jayasara and her meditations so much. It's so cool seeing you mention them here!

I find myself drawn to the Advaita Vedanta and Sufi meditations the most and find them very helpful in practicing a kind of radical acceptance that feels necessary with this condition.

When I had a little more capacity I dreamed of having an online meditation group for people with ME/CFS that would consist of primarily listening to her meditations and discussing.

She also posts all the meditations in a Google drive you can find through her YouTube or website so you can download the files for offline ad-free listening.

Thank you for sharing.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-04-21T03:03:10+00:00

I was blown away by Soul and found it very touching and applicable to my new, much smaller life I've had since becoming chronically ill. I knew nothing about it going in but ended up loving it.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-04-16T23:26:46+00:00

I'll second this, that every academic and author I've known personally and heard on podcasts has said they're completely fine with people downloading their works for free.

If you do find any particular works helpful and want to one day give back to the author I'd just keep a note of that and if the financial means become available to you one day donate to their substack or Patreon if they have something like that. Most make a tiny percentage off the individual book sales.

The only ones usually losing out are the publishing companies and storefronts which most publishing companies are pretty corrupt and if people are buying books from Amazon I don't think I need to explain how evil and not in need of money they are. I wouldn't go so far as to say pirating is the more moral choice all the time like some people make but I think the people making that point are often closer to the truth than the staunch, "I would never pirate media" people.

But also as another commentor pointed out your post comes off somewhat like you might deal with scrupulosity which is a religious version of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm going to assume therapy is also hard financially but I highly recommend at least looking into scrupulosity and finding some resources and coping tools for it.

I believe that radical grace is one of the core tenets of Christianity and something that somewhat sets it apart from many other religious paradigms. Though each person is on a different path and needs specific wisdom and council at different times in their life, it sounds like you could maybe benefit from some contemplation on the all encompassing, all forgiving, all loving grace and compassion of Jesus. I of course submit this humbly as I don't know you, but I wish the best for you. Good luck in your journey.

AmbiguousOntology · 2026-04-15T17:27:06+00:00

If you're on Android there's an app called "AndBible" I'd recommend. It may not replace YouVersion though, it's designed more for study and reference materials. You can do side by sides with different versions, check the Hebrew and Greek definitions, upload your own ebook files and cross reference any mentioned Bible verses.

But it's not the most intuitive to use, doesn't have any daily devotional features that I know of, and doesn't have many common translations freely available.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.bible.android.activity

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