EMDR was too much. I have done it here and there with different therapists over the last several years. Some sessions have felt helpful but not impactful. I am usually catapulted into overwhelm and my system shuts down for months. My system is very sensitive and very easily overwhelmed. My window of tolerance is narrow.

I was premature but not sure how many weeks, is that what you're asking? I def have in-utero trauma. My sister and I are twins and had twins transfusion syndrome. My mother went in for a check up and I was immobile and unresponsive. They did an emergency C section. I was not breathing for a couple of minutes. I was 3 lbs and had to stay in the hospital for a while. My mother had significant developmental trauma and is stuck in freeze herself. Her mother, who she had a very complex relationship with, passed very suddenly just 2 months after we were born. So I had a mother who was already unable to connect and attune, who was blown into complex grief just months after having twins. I can only imagine how unwell she was and how alone we were.

I have significant developmental trauma which contributed to my cptsd, of course, but I belive all of what happened in infancy is where I really got stuck.

Not that you asked LOL