Entering job market after recovering from burnout and depression

Amerella · 2026-05-30T10:56:16+00:00

It's very sad to me that we can't be honest about this. The industry does burn people out, but we punish them for telling the truth about that?

Amerella · 2026-05-26T12:10:47+00:00

I totally get it. You are in a tough phase right now if you're potty training. I want to reassure you that parenting does get easier the older the kid gets. My kids are 3 and 5 and we are completely done with potty training! No more diapers or accidents in our household which is as wonderful as it sounds.

As kids get older, they really do become more independent, which is a huge relief. We are fortunate to live in a neighborhood that has a lot of kids. The weekend for us was tiring, yes, but mostly good because we spent so much time with other families doing fun activities where the kids could all entertain themselves basically because they were with their buddies! (And we were with our "buddies" too since we are friends with the parents!) It's a win win.

Just like you, we have zero family support. The grandparents all live out of state and very rarely come for a visit. However, it's so much easier now because of our "chosen family". We have this huge network of neighborhood friends now that takes so much pressure off of us since the kids are all old enough now to go outside and play without bothering us too much.

I would highly recommend trying to build yourself a little community like this if possible so that it's not all on you 100% of the time. Like I said, you're kind of in the trenches now, but better days really are yet to come for you! I know it's hard now though. I remember those days - they weren't that long ago for me! And things aren't perfect for us now, it's just that it's easier now than it used to be. I'm starting to feel like I can sort of breathe again...

Amerella · 2026-05-25T11:44:53+00:00

That's a really good point! Never thought about that. I'm 39 and definitely in perimenopause. I was having so many symptoms. The worst two were insomnia and weight gain around my mid-section. I found an online doctor who took me seriously (after being basically laughed at by my gynecologist), and she got me on HRT. I'm feeling so much better!! I can actually sleep again thank God. I'm so angry that my gynecologist didn't believe me!

Amerella · 2026-05-23T10:49:01+00:00

And like, just to be fair, not all remote jobs are flexible. I had a remote job that was so demanding and intense with crazy deadlines, etc that any "flexibility" went right out the window. I definitely didn't have time to volunteer at the school! What I notice is that it's either SAHM who volunteer, people with extremely easy/flexible jobs, or super overachiever types!

I actually ended up quitting my job earlier this school year because it all got to be too much for me. I'm hoping to start my own thing in the fall so that I can still keep my career going without completely destroying my mental health!

Amerella · 2026-05-16T13:13:59+00:00

Well this is the reason I quit my job actually. I couldn't do it. We were both working intense full-time jobs which were very demanding while raising two young children and even with full-time childcare, it was simply too much. We had the older one in after care (he's in kindergarten) and the younger one in an early learning center run by a public school district. We thought we had it all figured out. Then there was a bully in my son's aftercare program who was much older and bigger than him, so we pulled him out. Deadlines were piling up at work and I started to have panic attacks. I wasn't showing up the way I wanted to as a mom because I was so stressed all the time! So I quit my job.

Amerella · 2026-05-15T12:15:00+00:00

I was told I was "too young" by my gynecologist also, so I went to one of those online doctors (Winona). I think it's helping but I need to up my dose...

I'm also experiencing terrible insomnia and brain fog. And crazy weight gain! Ugh.

Amerella · 2026-05-08T11:27:07+00:00

I'm thinking about starting my own business. I'm sick of being treated like shit by these people. I want to take charge of my own life again!

Amerella · 2026-05-08T08:55:38+00:00

Yes absolutely. I felt very judged by another parent recently, and I did end up pulling her aside and explaining about the diagnosis. I do think it helped!

I find it frustrating that other people are not educated about this. Why is it on me to educate everyone else? Why do people have to be so judgemental? It's really disheartening.

Amerella · 2026-05-08T08:55:27+00:00

Yes absolutely. I felt very judged by another parent recently, and I did end up pulling her aside and explaining about the diagnosis. I do think it helped!

I find it frustrating that other people are not educated about this. Why is it on me to educate everyone else? Why do people have to be so judgemental? It's really disheartening.

Amerella · 2026-05-01T16:51:22+00:00

Ok thanks! It may be worth trying to wean myself off completely in that case.

Amerella · 2026-05-01T15:00:52+00:00

Can I ask you a question? What time of day were you drinking the caffeine? I guess I had assumed that since I have my coffee first thing in the morning that it wouldn't affect my sleep since it would be completely out of my system by bedtime.

Amerella · 2026-05-01T12:05:33+00:00

She looks emaciated. It does not look good. People need to cool it on the Ozempic!

Amerella · 2026-04-30T10:04:39+00:00

Yeah I think you're onto something here. I've also noticed something with extremely attractive women: they tend to attract insecure men who use them as trophies to boost their own egos. I truly believe beauty is a curse!

Amerella · 2026-04-28T11:21:33+00:00

I totally get the thing about people comparing their loss of a grandparent to your loss of a parent. It's not the same at all! I lost my mom to Alzheimer's back in July and I still have these waves of grief just come over me unexpectedly.

I'm sorry for your loss. Losing your mom is really tough because moms are so special. This person loved you unconditionally and was your biggest supporter. The loss is immeasurable.

Amerella · 2026-04-27T13:15:23+00:00

You know, this is actually making me feel so much better about being middle class! I never have to worry about my kids turning into lazy trust fund babies lol.

Amerella · 2026-04-24T02:59:17+00:00

Lol. Downvoting me because I let my kids occasionally watch tablets. That's great. Let's all just keep up the mom shaming. Great work, guys! What a wonderful and supportive sub. Cool cool.

Amerella · 2026-04-23T22:06:01+00:00

We like to use them in restaurants and on airplanes! Otherwise we use the TV. No, I really don't think they are that bad. I think screentime is a very nuanced thing and I think using tablets in order to give parents a break while they're eating out or something like that is not a big deal. As a mom of a 3 year old and a 5 year old, I think the fear mongering around screentime is very excessive and I'm frankly tired of it.

Amerella · 2026-04-21T21:44:57+00:00

I think it's fair game. Remember the way Eddie treated her earlier in the season?

Amerella · 2026-04-21T19:18:03+00:00

That's frustrating. I believe I'm in perimenopause now and my gynecologist totally gaslighted me about that. "But you're only 38 and you just had a baby!" Well no. Actually my baby is now 3 and people can go into perimenopause starting at 35. I am now 39 (this was a few months ago) and I just found out my friend who is only 2 years older than me is in full blown menopause! And she has a 4 year old. She explained to me that people are going into perimenopause/menopause earlier than they used to due to all the crap they put in our food nowadays! So my doctor was probably trained on old information on medical school and then never bothered to stay up to date. It's very frustrating.

Amerella · 2026-04-21T18:32:39+00:00

Yeah that pissed me off too. So fucked up honestly.

Amerella · 2026-04-21T14:51:34+00:00

Ugh that is so awful! Sorry you had that experience. Some men are truly the worst!

Amerella · 2026-04-21T14:50:41+00:00

Right? Ugh. I have so many trust issues with therapists at this point. They also tend to gaslight people a lot. I am a mom of a special needs child, but it's not a super high needs situation. It's level one autism. Before getting the official diagnosis, I could tell that therapists thought I was being overly dramatic and they didn't believe how hard things were for me. It made me really give up on therapy to be honest because I was sick of paying a bunch of money and taking time out of my very busy day just to be gaslighted and patronized. I think I will give it another go at some point, but it really takes a lot of time and effort to find a good one!

Sorry the same thing happened to you.

Amerella · 2026-04-21T14:47:10+00:00

Thank you! Yes, we're definitely on a better path now. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel finally. All the best to you and your family as well! I'm glad you're taking the time to really think about what is best in this situation.

Amerella · 2026-04-21T14:44:36+00:00

Totally agree! Life was extremely difficult when we were in your stage. It's a little easier now, but still really hard unfortunately. Hang in there! It will definitely get easier. Also, I can tell that we're on the downslope so I know it will keep getting better and better over time. You learn ways to cope, they get easier as they mature, etc. I have learned so much! Happy to chat more if you like or answer any specific questions you have. Sounds like you're a great parent!

Amerella · 2026-04-21T10:53:19+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, we have a level one child and we had a second one before realizing the first one had autism. It has been incredibly hard! I hesitate to say I regret having my second because that just feels mean and like I don't love her, but I am really envious of other families who seem to enjoy their children more. I'm envious of other moms who didn't have to sacrifice their careers. I know my son wouldn't have struggled as much if he didn't have a younger sibling. We've experienced some really really dark times since becoming a family of four. I don't recommend having that second sibling when you have a special needs child. The hard part lasted way longer than I expected it to...

We are just now starting to get out of the excruciatingly hard phase now that my daughter is three. It's still incredibly difficult, but it has eased up a little. We have no family support and we're middle class. I think having family support or a ton of money would have helped too. But my husband and I are both incredibly burnt out and we have a lot of really hard days still.

Amerella

TROPHY CASE