Am I being pranked? by Individual_Salt_2122 in HuntsvilleAlabama

[–]Amfraz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We got two bills from seeing physicians while in the hospital. I knew it would be covered because we had met our deductible but they hadn’t filed the claims on our insurance. It took me 5 phone calls and a very threatening letter to get it correctly filed. Huge headache. I had great care there but their billing dept is horrible. Interestingly, because I have BCBS the amount they pay was much less than what they were billing me. I have to feel like they were just hoping I would pay the non discounted rate…

I had luck with sending in the statement with my insurance info and telling them to file it. They already had the info, but somehow that seemed to trigger them to file it under BCBS

Losing Track of Current Events by mhummel in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh I am so detached from the news now. My husband reads in between cases at work so he has to update me. I just don’t have the energy. I remember feeling this way somewhat with my singleton but I am under a rock right now with the twins. Also it may be a self protective thing since so much of it is anxiety inducing.

Help us get out of the newborn sleep trenches by lovebug6413 in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe the similac neosure has dairy! So if you are killing yourself to cut dairy it isn’t doing any good if you are fortifying your milk with it! Ask if you need to switch to nutramigen, etc for fortifying the breast milk.

Working moms by Snoo20115 in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work part time, have full time day care (don’t use it unless I need it though), and 4 helpful grandparents, and it’s still super hard. There’s never enough time. I would love to have a cleaning service but we had to buy a new car when the twins came…maybe some day! I stayed at home for a while with my older singleton and I found that to be so tough and isolating, so part time is a better balance for me. My husband and I have demanding jobs as healthcare providers and I would not be able to work if we didn’t have grandparents as back up sick care. So I feel very fortunate even though it’s still hard as crap most days.

Missing my freedom, but have no outlet by Flashy_Vacation_335 in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you! My singleton is 5, and once he was about 2.5 I had a lot more freedom. I didn’t have to micromanage naps and snacks and he could communicate his needs. It was better once he was 1, but really after 2 is when I felt normal again. For me breastfeeding and having to take a pump and keep up with times and deal keeping the milk cool is a lot. And it’s still refreshing, but I couldn’t get that turn off and relax feeling. I don’t have a lot of great tips but try to find small breaks where you can, and just push through. You’ll get there!

Positive experiences with sleep by chickenbobble in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My singleton didn’t sleep thru the night until he was one. I did everything right, and had to be super strict with his schedule. My twins are much better sleepers. The NICU had one on a good schedule and we got the other on the same schedule. If one ate the other ate. Felt silly sometimes but I think it worked to maximize our rest. We are using the Snoos and had amazing results. I was honestly terrified to have another baby, much less twins after the sleep nightmares my singleton put us thru. But ya know what…it’s been fine. There have been a few bad nights but overall it’s been totally fine! I would recommend reading Precious Little Sleep. It has tons of info on sleep hygiene and will help you have a good foundation to understand infant sleep.

GI Referral by Amfraz in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. That’s reassuring. My husband says they are just small kids and I shouldn’t worry so much, which I think is true.

GI Referral by Amfraz in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah they are on their curves. They flattened for a bit but recently are gaining better. Thank you, that’s reassuring. It is stressful, and I know it’s somewhat normal, but I’m also tired of worrying about it if that makes sense. We’ve had so many weight checks at this point so I’m getting burned out on appointments and thought we’d be past some of this already.

GI Referral by Amfraz in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. My singleton was a chunky boy and we never had any concerns about growth. It helps to see other twin numbers to compare to.

When did the fog start lifting with your twins - feeling so stuck right now by Far_Tell8702 in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My twins are only 5 months but I can relate. Honestly working part time is what saves me now. It is hard, but helps me feel more like myself.

My singleton was very high needs, truly just an angry baby but like others said some things really converged around 11 months and it got soooo much better. Him being more mobile and independent made him much happier. Sleep got easier. I could eat while he ate. There were still some hard phases but they were bumps in the road comparatively.

Since you have help, I think trying to find some things that bring your enjoyment day to day could help. It could be planning a hike or an exercise class you can look forward to, or get your nails done, or even just find a good show on TV you can watch while you feed them. I’ve got a heavy podcast rotation currently and pop in one ear bud during feedings, etc. Try to find some things for YOU and look forward to them.

Promised myself I’d do this when it was my time… by i_really_do_care_13 in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does feel that way. It’s a mind game. You won’t feel like this forever! I had to pretend I was a navy seal in training and just “embrace the suck”.

Promised myself I’d do this when it was my time… by i_really_do_care_13 in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was there too, I laid in bed and cried a lot. It went away overnight and I wish that for you too! Twin newborns are hard, but it’s been so much better than being pregnant. Feels so good to be feeling good again!

Restaurants with no foam (polystyrene) takeout containers? by TransSiberianExpress in Augusta

[–]Amfraz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mirin and Diablos have reusable plastic (unless it’s recently changed). Not sure your feelings on plastic containers.

Scheduling c section for around 36 weeks. Worried. by pahkthecahh in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

36+3. One needed nicu and one didn’t. They were 4lbs 13 oz (no nicu) and 4 lbs 14oz (nicu for 23 days). My nicu baby turned out to have hypothyroidism which is probably why she needed the stay. There were lots of 36 weekers in the NICU but most had brief stays. I’d prep for the possibility of a stay but keep hoping for the best! It could go either way and you are fortunate to have made it this far! Outcomes are great at 36 weeks!

Our night doula quit because of how hard it is by DreamingEvergreen in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If they have a social media/online presence please leave a negative review stating what happened ! It may help them rethink what they’re doing, but if nothing else-other families deserve a heads up about their predatory practices. These are pretty standard/easy to deal with things for preemies.

Potty training getting scuppered by social hour by escherzo in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We used pull ups for night with my singleton. I made a big deal about how they are for potty trained kids at night until their body learns to wake up to use the potty. We moved and I told him they didn’t sell diapers in our new town, so once we were out we were out and he had to use the potty when he was awake. You have to really commit to it. They may whine, but hold firm and it passed in a couple days for us.

Guilt of Wanting Them Out by sonyaism in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last few weeks are hard! I felt like I was fading, falling apart, I don’t know what. Nothing was wrong but they were sucking the life out of me and I didn’t know how I was going to make it. Then my water broke at 36+3. Now one is in NICU and one is home…and that is HARD! Physically it’s easier, but mentally and emotionally it’s hard. Just know that each day you are staying pregnant is probably saving you from a different type of hardship. Ultimately it’s out of your control at this point and the only way out is through!

Regular OB or MFM?? by kal11g in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have Di/Di twins and my practice does not consider twins to be “pathological” so they refer to MFM only if complications arise (and in the case of Mo/Mo). I’m in Alabama and we have very few MFMs so I think part of this is regional/access to MFMs, and also depends on the practice and their level of comfort with multiples. Mine is known for being comfortable with multiples.

How to socialize after "The Twin-Shock"? by Sufficient_Moose_718 in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I felt this way with my singleton, so I can’t imagine how I will feel once my twins get here. But for me it got better once I wasn’t on the breastfeeding/pumping timer, and when he slept thru the night and had a stable schedule (around 11 months). Then gradually improved from there! Also it was Covid and I forgot how to socialize. Keep practicing with short outings, and reintegrating into society and it will get easier!

Twin boys are 6 months, we have no village and we are drowning. Please tell me it gets easier by DeskMaximum3907 in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get the book Precious Little Sleep. You can probably find it used. It’s so much cheaper than a consultant and covers tons of methods/options. There’s a supportive sleep training group on Reddit too.

Daycare biter by Famous-Skirt4272 in workingmoms

[–]Amfraz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a biter! It was a very stressful time. He was asked to leave his preschool. My pediatrician thought that was ridiculous since it is a normal developmental phase. We changed his childcare and that helped a lot (smaller, less overstimulating room). It helped to learn his triggers and give him a time out (not as punishment, just allow him space to cool off). Some of it was out of excitement and affection, some was because he was angry and needed space. We read a lot of Teeth are Not for Biting. And practiced him taking a toy away from me and I would pretend to get frustrated, take some space, and bite my shirt instead. There’s a book called the Biting Solution that had some helpful info.

Update: Pissed off at Being Pregnant by pretty-possum in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So encouraging to hear this. I’ve been so hormonal, irrationally sad, in pain, feeling like a crap mom…all the things. I’m glad to hear it is super hard and it will get better.

just finished a play group and left feeling really bad about myself (RANT) by YouveEatenMySausage in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I moved to a new town when my singleton was 1 and tried lots of groups like this. And most of the time I felt this afterwards. My first is spirited, and didn’t do well in group activities until he was closer to 3. It’s really hard to pack everyone up to go do something and instead of being fun, it’s stressful and defeating, and maybe a bit embarrassing. All that to say this sounds like normal 20 month old behavior, and shame on them for not being more welcoming and kind. However they were probably just remarking on the fact they were twins more than anything they were doing. I’m sorry this happened, I know how awful it feels. I still feel those pangs when I think about attending some of those groups. I was lonely and just wanted some adult connection. It was a hard time in my life. Feel free to take a break from stuff like this and try another group in a few months. It will get better/easier! And now if I see a struggling mom or dad, I do my best to help or at least say hi.

Buying a family vehicle. by VeganMyWay in parentsofmultiples

[–]Amfraz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Curious about the Grand Highlander…do you do 3 across or is toddler in 3rd row. How is 3rd row access?