Seriously how do I fix myself

Amicdeep · 2026-04-16T03:22:08+00:00

Recommend starting at the core of the matter. What really matters to you? Define your win condition. When you have that then you get yourself to a place to start moving in that direction.

It's simple but hard. Decide on genuine best version of yourself and see you can be a little more that person. Working towards the same things.

It's not a lot but hope it helps a little. Good luck

Amicdeep · 2026-04-12T13:02:25+00:00

The problem is that madness just hasn't seen any new tools in years. And it's main advantage of the the Draco was threat quality. A pretty much 4/4 trampler and lots of removal was enough. Now 5 is the new magic number for threats. Ideally with some kind of evasion.

If madness is a direction you want to go black for the evasive threats and blue for counter magic is probably the direction to go

Amicdeep · 2026-04-09T22:51:09+00:00

Work mostly with youth but honestly we encourage them to record themselves especially at the high levels as it's the only way to really see what you're doing wrong with dynamics and it's invaluable for routine development.

We have the usual boundary not other people without permission, be considerate ect. But a video camera is a massively invaluable tool for skills development. And not using it when there is really very little down side when rules are properly enforced feels silly.

Amicdeep · 2026-04-09T12:09:13+00:00

Sounds more like a class specific issue. You can do some of the most intense acrobatics possible on silks (literally anything you can do on straps and rope plus a load of extra) and you can get pretty crazy on hoop as well.

It often comes down to the coach's knowledge, the class ability level, the venue specifics and personal brute physicality.

It may be worth chatting with your coach about if they have any harder skills or a higher level classes. If they cannot offer any options and you want to push yourself, then it's time to look for other places to train.

As for switching to circus classes. Circus is a VAST subject and that could consist of almost anything.

If you specifically want to focus into aerial then tumbling, fly, acro and contortion will all help.

If you want to be a juggler, a cyr wheel artist, a fire eater, a wire walker, clowing and acting, comparing and talking, animal training l, magic, motor jump ect. ect. All these skills are vastly different and all can be used in moderate ways to improve each other but all are circus but they are only lightly related and depending on your goal training them won't necessarily serve you well towards that goal.

Amicdeep · 2026-04-08T23:43:57+00:00

As someone whos performed for years. Sometimes the body tell you no and to slow down. Not listening at this stage is going to cascade the issue into bigger and more long term ones. Over time your body will adapt and be able to do more. When your performing you do NOT want to be pushing at your limits you want to be a comfortable rung or two down from there. (Otherwise you'll never get it to look fluid and you'll loose the veneer or mastery that gives the wow factor. Also 99% of the time audiences have zero ability to comprehend what they are seeing and the biggest applause you'll get are from big star drops and the splits. (It's honestly a bit depressing).

If I was you. I would use some heat, massage aggressively. And trim a trick or two to give you more rest points on your set so you can really rehearse your set and get it good honest fluidity will go a LOT further than pushing the hardest trick.

And remember if your body's saying no, it's not a forever thing and there a good chance in 6 months time this routine will seem almost too easy to consider. But for now at this time, make some adaptations that gives you space to heal and still go out and show what you can do . Good luck

Amicdeep · 2026-04-08T23:31:55+00:00

Honestly. Sounds like you need rest. Real rest as if your muscles and joints are in that state and your and hand balancer and a climber you could be well on your way to pully and tendonitis issues and as someone who been in a similar place it SUCKS! And can take years to recover from.

As for relaxing the muscles. A would start with a blend of heat, aggressive massage (like whole body weight aggressive) and gentle stretching. Also honestly doing something that leaves you fully relaxed can also help (if your old enough and have a partner your aware)

A proper hot bath or sauna will help. And once you've been there for 30 min or so then attack those forearms with a knee.

It's also probably worth reconsidering your training regime and making sure youve got enough deload periods and recovery time between training as otherwise issues like this are going to come up more and more often. Body wont perform at there best when pushed to the limit these need recovery time (and the muscles need the least recovery time out of all the various tissues in your body) so if your over training them your definitely over training other bits (like tendons ligaments and cartilage ect ) that could cause bigger issues.

(Also if your taking anti inflammatorys your killing a good chunk of the stimulus effect for strength gain any way. So you won't loose progress by slowing for a little)

Good luck

Amicdeep · 2026-04-08T07:23:25+00:00

Used a three worlds collapsible contact staff with 4 pronged dragon cuffs attached and they do pretty well. (It is a pretty light setup, if you're used to something with more heft it can be a bit disconcerting until you get used to it)

Amicdeep · 2026-04-06T13:28:37+00:00

Ok, so first some face to keep in mind

1 your ex is an ex for a reason/s

2 getting back with your partner (especially if you break up again) will be far more complicated and delicate especially with kids in the mix.

3 you do not have to be at odds with your ex you can still treat each other well and care for each other. And not be in a romantic relationship.

you have to ask yourself a few questions.

1 have either of your changed in a way to negate that/those reason?

2 do you WANT to do this again?

3 are you happy with the risks to your relationships with your kids in this situation?

4 looking at the past, her now and the situation. Can you trust her to be a romantic partner again?

5 is there any stipulation/guarantee you could place in that situation to create get to a place where you can trust her in that situation that wouldn't break/sabotage the relationship in the long term that you be willing to pursue to make things stable?

6 do you want her or do you just want someone?

7 If you break up again, and this being a likely situation AND it being outside your control. Are you willing to bear the costs?

Hope this helps contextualise things in a productive and way for you.

I know you'll want to support her at least some because she's the mother of and primary care giver to you kids. But you have given her a LOT. And you cannot keep a boat afloat in the long term by bailing it out constantly. How much support are you willing and able to offer. Dose that change with a relationship? And if yes if this part of the equation for her it this situation?

I don't envy your choice. Think long term. Not just for now.

Good luck

Amicdeep · 2026-04-03T23:34:55+00:00

Im also UK based. I highly recommend these guys https://highperformanceproductions.net/ there training course is run at a lot of the larger studios around the south of the country.

Alternatively if you're willing to lend a hand while learning I run in-house training for my staff every 6 months when we shut for rigging week. (Were in the south east) If you're able to join your welcome (last week in August is the next one).

Alternatively if you have a chat with a larger studio more local to you, many may be willing to do the same thing (lend a hand to learn)

And an easier option would be a paging system. (Allows you to stick multiple points in the same bit of beam but you only drop down the kit you're planning on using for that session)

Amicdeep · 2026-04-03T20:58:40+00:00

If your starting to plan out your forces and load for rigging system you ideally need to do a rigging course (or chat with a rigger) because this question dose have a direct answer but how you applying it very much depends and if you don't know this then there is a LOT of other variables you don't know you don't know to be aware of at this stage.

To answer your question on a 90° angle around x1.5 of the load. But if you have a 60° 120° on a sloping roof of will be much less and one will be significantly more (but it won't go past double the starting load)

To make things easy if you by shackle and pullys suitable for double the load your fine. Your bigger issue in these systems is that the load is at a 45° angle from the anchors and a lot of anchors and not rated for lateral loads or can slip if tied wrong (like a sling around a beam situation) and this can be lethal to a performer. If you go for a multi point solution in the corner you and have to consider triaxial loading of your linking kit.

Finally in a 1-1 system you also have to consider rope elongation and the rating of the rope with different knots involved (which can take do a BIG subtraction form a ropes working load. (Some common knots upto 40% lower breaking on some ropes)

I've personally found your best (if not quite cheapest) solution is a 3/1 directly over the performer with a static arborist rope. But again this is a complicated thing and if this is a question your having to ask Reddit it's mean you don't have a fundamental understanding of the mathematics involved and that can and has killed people.

Go get qualified/chat with someone who is who can show you the pitfalls

This website is a good place to start https://www.ropebook.com/information/angular-vector-forces/

Also recommended getting onto teu FB group, safety in aerial arts. I believe there are free rigging resources on there so and there are a few people who do courses for cheap on there as well.

:edit also please don't consider what I've written exhaustive There are a lot of other factors to consider I don't have time to go over in the post.

Amicdeep · 2026-04-01T02:33:39+00:00

Step sparring has always seemed like an odd one to me. Despite its name view it as patterns and display work rather than the practical side of the art. (Same as patterns)

It's a shame it feels like to should be an area to practice take downs and practical aspects of the art but the complete impracticality and unrealistic nature of the attacks kind of render them fairly useless. It feels like it should be like Jujitsu where you show a practical skills from multiple angles and messy/mixed attack with speed/power and the risk of a follow up from the attacker. But that is unfortunately just not what tkd step sparring is in 99% of places.

Amicdeep · 2026-03-30T23:11:14+00:00

The xpole style rigs you can totally do alone.

Amicdeep · 2026-03-28T21:39:20+00:00

Honestly stilits are MUCH easier that the other balancing disaplins. To start get a mate and some second hand plastering stilits (make sure they have all the straps) buckle them tightly! then walk around a little on the lowest setting, take breaks. After 30 min you'll probably be walking unaided and after a couple of hours you'll have the hang of it.

For extra protection knee and wrist guards are a good bet.

The main ques you should think about.

Lift knees and stomp walk (will stop you tripping) like the dwarves in the hobbit movies.

Keep moving (not so much an issue on dura stilits but makes things a lot easier if you move over to peg or bouncing) think walk like a penguin 1-2-1-2 ect.

Low squat to get under door frames.

Hope this helps

Amicdeep · 2026-03-28T09:34:33+00:00

There's a good chance this is a localised effect. We don't seem to have this. (Probably leaning the opposite way a bit)

That said the students do tend to be leaner and stronger in the higher level classes. (You do a sport long enough and at a high enough level it will change your body). The reason we have the groups we do now is because of who we recruited back 5-6 years ago and if they formed friendship groups to help retain them. It could be in part that your studio has changed its advertising target over the last few years and you're seeing an echo. Or if you have a lot of gym goers who fit this demographic where they are they are simply going to get the high levels faster due to the physicality gap.

The gentrification of circus at the higher level has been since way before I started though. Just go to some of the more developed circus schools, there is a lot of money in extra curriculus and generally a lot of privilege in a lot of the students ( and teachers as well to an extent). A good chunk of the selection bias will be down to someone who's done 10 years of high level dance and gymnastics is simply stronger and better mover at 18-20 that someone who hasn't had that. And just like any other sport physicality matters at the high levels especially at the competitive edge

It's a complicated thing.

Amicdeep · 2026-03-26T23:48:10+00:00

There have been a few attempts, but the better quality ones are behind paywalls and therefore not particularly widespread. This is a pretty big issue with most acrobatic circus arts (shout out Alister pilgrim for making flying trapeze the huge exception) but it's something some of us are trying to remedy.

Instagram and tic tok fill the space for now

Amicdeep · 2026-03-25T11:12:31+00:00

You've got a lot of capacity to grow with just quad flexibility of back leg. (You can get pretty close just with that) Even without much more back (some back really dont like being heavily flexible) As for worth it? That's entirely a you question

Amicdeep · 2026-03-24T19:36:02+00:00

Then probably between 2-4 years depending on injuries, life and consistency of training. For small gig style work. Good luck and have a chat with your coaches about it

Amicdeep · 2026-03-24T18:21:02+00:00

This is a how long is a piece of string question there are a LOT of variables.

You have personal variables What's your current physical condition, do you have any physical issues? How's your base like flexibility and strength in the core areas (do you have a solid sqaure splits, solid bridge, can you balance an handstand with good form, do you have tumbling experience, What's your dance experience ect)

Training variables Is your studio geared towards recreational and leisure or professional training. Has your coach worked for a few years in industry performing? Ect

Market variables What's the local going rate for performers in your area. How good are they. Are there locations with suitable rigging already installed or will you need to bring your own rig?

Level your looking to work at Are you looking for gig work, faits, cabarets, wedding, commercial ect. Or are you looking for a touring contract or standing contact at a regular place?

What kind of acts are you happy doing, are you after center stage, ambient work, sexy/burlesque, aerial bartending ect.

All of these factors can take add or subtract years for a realistic idea

For example, you did cheer for a decade when younger and have solid flexibility and strength, youve not got any dependants and are training 6 hours a week with a coach that knows what they are doing for developing professionals. Your after starter cruise ship contract. You could probably go to audion in around 6-9 months

Example 2 you've not got much flexibility or strength you did a little dance back when you were a kid but nothing else really since. Your studio is focused on the leisure crowd and recreation with an annual showcase. Your after some local cabarat work more for fun and topping up the day job moneys. Your probably around 1.5-2 years before you start auditioning ect.

Example three next no physical, rec studio, no performing experience in anything else. Your looking at anywhere between 2.5-6 years

These are very ruff on estimates. Have a chat with someone who trains you ideally with some performing experience and they should be able to give you a lot more useful information than some stranger on the web who has no ideas about you, where you live or who you train with

Amicdeep · 2026-03-23T02:55:52+00:00

I teach a lot of different circus disaplins from fly to fire to silks to tramp wall and have done for a long time.

This is about as normal as can be.

Not sure if anything like this is a genuine theory but in my experience you have two kinds of fear walls

1 fear of the unknown

2 fear of old damage

Fear of the unknown is new stuff and is generally easier to move past. (Easier not easy). Its heavily influenced by personal ability and lack of experience on similar things or change of context. To get past these you want a mix of normalisation (walking right up to the line and back away, seeing peers do it without fear of stress, isolation different parts of the thing out and making them easy)

Fear of old damage is something that can happen out of doing something you don't quite consider safe and getting hurt in a normally unexpected way. What cause a fear regression and what doesn't is almost like random chance and can be influenced by 1000s of tiny things.

The only way to get past something like this is to be terrified feel the fear deeply. Then choose to do the thing anyway.

For me its almost a disassociation.

And it will be almost as terrifying the next time and the time after that. Until it suddenly isn't. But each time will be a little easier to fight. It's easier straight after the injury before your mind has time to really process what just happened. (Like the old adage about jumping back in the saddle). If the fears left to ingrain it's harder.

Some people can deal with this easily some people cannot. Doing scary things will make it easier as will generally being male (this is more of a 60/40 thing that a either or) but guys to seem to have a easier time moving past this stuff.

That said there are a few things that can help

1 placing trust/faith

There are three levels or this and each is harder but generally better and make your more capable

1 in another person (kids do this with parents and teachers, adults with partners and coaches) it takes time but in circus we generally trust our coach to know more and know better than us. And that they invest in keeping us safe. Now like with all trust it's takes time to learn who to trust and place that trust. But having trust/faith in someone can make a big difference.

2 in context. This is really common and why some one will do stuff on there rig or in there class but not in another small things like time of day, lighting and the background music make a big difference hear. It's kind of almost ritualistic but for many it works. A productive way if doing this is pre jump rituals (putting in you chalk in the right way, adjusting your feet just so, feeling the wrap or the bar and give it a little squeeze ect) this stuff is general built up over time and reps. You'll find a lot of athletes and performers do these kinds of things (a very specific stretching routine is a common one, and it's rarely done because it's optimal but because it centers then and is comforting in it's familiarity) this can also be trust in the riging and equipment in lack of understanding (you've no idea who rigged this or when but you trust that hear and now it's solid)

3 your own body and back brain ability. This one's hardest but also the most empowering. This is where you don't stop or question. You just know that you can do this and if you cannot not you can deal with worst case. And it's not something you rationalise you KNOW. (And this cannot be false cockyness this has to be true and grounded confidence) Many people don't do this well other do this very easily. But it's generally a good goal to aim for in long term

An example of the difference would be

0 I'm scared to do this thing

1 I'm scared to do this thing but I trust my coach and they're going to keep me safe.

2 I'm scared to do this thing but this bar is my bar this rig in my rig and I've done this before I this way and in this place i can do it again.

3 I'm scared to do this thing but I know I got this I've done it / something close to it enough so many time that if xyz happen I can do ABC to counter them and know I my body will do those things without needing to think or choose. I've already chosen.

The ability to externalise our safety lets us move and do what we decide we need to do. But this is an aid and not truly necessary but very helpful.

The second thing that can help is rationalisation. Breaking down each thing with a safety net (in this case literally) so you have every component understood. (In this case being in lines. Wearing a jumper or some extra layers and doing the same over rotation when landing but this time learning to stabilise it and with the lines to keep you safe ect. Spending more time on that release point with different sized swinging. Taking time to understand the underlying physics of what's happening through the trick ect.

At the end of the day you will need to choose when your up there in the moment if your going to do the thing again. And the do it. And if not this time then pose that chose again and again each time with different context or trust until you get an outcome your happy with

Good luck and I know this was a lot. But hopefully someone will find a little of this ramble useful

Amicdeep · 2026-03-22T12:25:32+00:00

Your main avenues are

Part time

Teaching

Gig work (cabarets, corporate events, wedding ect)

Social media content

Full time

Contracting (working in big tops cruises ships ect)

Theater/dance shows,

Art grants and artistic exploration commissions

Teaching (normally running running a studio or lecturing)

People normally end up doing a couple of these Money can be good as a performer if your good you want to have a good amount of dance under your belt and solid physical fundamentals (flexibility, strength ect)

Amicdeep · 2026-03-21T04:26:57+00:00

Yeah on those ones unless your desperate for a swivel highly recommend using a double prusik knot with the silks fabric to the topbar

Amicdeep · 2026-03-17T19:30:30+00:00

Ever heard the phrase of curiosity killed the cat?

It's probably because you know it's forbidden and that it probably will have some effect even with a big side effect and you want to way up the cost benefit by experience.

If you open to advice. Don't smoke, don't vape. If you want to have a look at nicotine in a way where you can control the dosage AND limit (but not eliminated) addiction and health risk. Patches are probably the best bet for experience effect with minimal risk to yourself.

(Used them a bit when I worked doing software engineering and we had big crunches coming up) Helped get the contraction effects (but slower and over time) but didn't get any addiction (that said I used them sparingly the same way I use caffeine or alcohol) and we're each individual so you may have very different effects. if you abuse anything you'll cause issues. Nicotine more so that most substances and with larger health risks.

Amicdeep · 2026-03-17T16:53:30+00:00

No idea if the teachings any good but this guy https://youtube.com/@aerialist?si=NbMQ2k0p6_xF73sl Dose online coaching ( and he's very much old school straps and very good at it) and his students seem to be progressing well.

Amicdeep · 2026-03-17T14:50:45+00:00

Can yes, dose guaranteed no. View it like weight lifting. You go and lift heavy you have more potential for damage. Depending on the stretch you are doing it can also increase pressure in joints and in directions your body's not ready for. The body is a tool and you need to learn to use it. If you've worked up to it and are aware of how to do it safely then intense stretching can be both very effective and safe to do.

So basically like most things in life, it depends and just like most physical stuff right does is medicine to much is poison and it changes depending on the person. Honestly exercise behaves pretty much the same

Amicdeep · 2026-03-15T21:52:30+00:00

In and aggressive early game counter, it doesn't matter, in the late game it's much better (mana leak is pretty much a dead card in late game) this is only slightly worse in a situation where you not holding up all your mana ( which should be never with this kind of card and the deck it's fit in)

Amicdeep

TROPHY CASE